


Carry Your Heart

by TheSickenerHits



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, Drunk Sex, Exposition, F/F, Prompts Welcome, Slow Burn, maybe too much exposition, probably too much exposition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-22 10:13:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 64,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6075426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSickenerHits/pseuds/TheSickenerHits
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex Vause is an English teacher who is gradually losing love for everything around her. When Piper Chapman is hired as her new colleague, Alex’s life lights up.<br/>(I can’t write these summaries without them sounding clichéd as shit, so here’s the facts: slow burn, with plenty of exposition. Sexual content coming up, some bad language. Literary allusions ahoy. Features prompts from Vausemaniac and Jamie_Jay.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Road

**Author's Note:**

> I’d read plenty of OITNB school AUs, but none in which the all of the characters were teachers - maybe I haven’t done my research well enough! - and I thought it might offer a different perspective.  
> (I know there’s the excellent “Liminal Space”, but I’m thinking a whole-cast sort of deal.)  
> Consequently, if you’d like a full list of the characters and their teaching roles, let me know. (I’ve got document upon document for this fic - months of planning overkill.) Equally, if you've got any ideas about things you'd like to see or directions you'd like this to head in, let me know. I have a *very* loose idea in mind, but I'm happy to hear what you guys think.

Alex exhaled, smoke from her last cigarette of the summer break curling out into the evening air.  
Bottles clinked as Nicky set down two chilled beers on the rooftop between them. Settling herself on the warm tiles, she grinned.  
"You got your shit ready for tomorrow?"  
They had been on the roof of Nicky’s house all afternoon, working their way through any alcohol left from past parties while they watched the sun set over the horizon.  
Alex gave a hoarse laugh, flicking the tobacco-tarred butt out into the empty sky.  
"I'm never ready to start teaching again after summer." She turned a soft smile in her housemate's direction. "You know that."  
Nicky bumped her elbow against the brunette's arm. "There's fresh blood though, right? I heard Fig hired some pretty cute new girls for this year."  
Alex turned, smirking. " _Women_ , not girls. This is why you can't get a girlfriend."  
The only response was shrug and a smile, accompanied by the raising of a glistening beer bottle, slick with condensation. "I get laid. That's enough for now.” There was a soft silence around them as Nicky paused, fondly eyeing her companion. “You gonna drink your beer, or what?"  
Alex coiled her fingers around the cold glass neck of the vessel Nicky held aloft. "Sure."  
She was rewarded with a grin.  
"'Atta girl, Vause."

This summer had been like every other: long days of lesson plans juxtaposed by late nights of house parties and sex, the latter tallied up on a blackboard in the kitchen as part of their unspoken competition.  
Alex was losing - something Nicky rarely let her forget - but while the brunette preferred quality over quantity, Nicky just liked to fuck. 

While the sun settled behind the city they overlooked from their house on the hill, the pair ended their day as they had started it: both on their backs, knuckles brushing as they lay inches apart. 

_Nicky had woken Alex with coffee at 9am, climbing under the covers and promptly returning to sleep in Alex's bed rather than her own.  
The blonde often joked about feeling lonely, and Alex didn't resent the company her housemate afforded her. Since moving away from home, Nicky was the first real friend she had found; Nicky could drop bread crumbs in the bed, and Alex still wouldn't ask her to leave._

Lying side by side, their lack of conversation was companionable, honed to perfection after Alex had moved in several years ago. It was to the brunette's frustration that silence was like a stained glass window to Nicky: there was beauty in its breaking.  
"You wanna fuck?"  
Alex turned to face the inquiry, watching mirth crinkle the corners of her housemate's eyes.  
"Who, you?" She raised an eyebrow, expression rich with scepticism.  
"Yeah, y'know, see the summer out in style. Wouldn't be the first time." There was warmth and humour in her tone, but Alex knew the blonde was semi-serious, and couldn't help but laugh.  
"No thanks. Kind though your offer is."  
" _Fuckin' rude_." Nicky chuckled. "Well, rather than sit here and be rejected by your sorry ass again, I'm going to bed."  
The blonde sat up slowly, rolling onto her knees before giving Alex a friendly punch in the arm.  
“See ya in the morning, champ.”  
Rising, she made her way over to the skylight that lead back into the house, clambering through the open window and out of sight. 

Alex raised herself onto her elbows, but made no other motion to follow. Gazing out over the land that lay before her, she followed the line of the trees that reached out to the main road, the tarmac drive leading up to the front door from the public highway, the once-perfect meridian of the grass verges, now tufted and rough from lack of attention.  
This was Nicky's house, inherited from her mother after she had died. Nicky had no siblings, and so in spite of the ever-crumbling relationship she had failed to maintain with the last in a long line of American aristocracy ( _wealthy from old, questionably gained fortunes_ ), she became the sole recipient of a large fortune. This included the new-build that Alex currently occupied the rooftop of. 

It had been a pet project of Mrs Nichols prior to her death: all bare concrete, glass and chrome. It lacked the bare wood floors and poorly painted walls Alex had loved from home, but Nicky had sought a roommate for companionship, and here Alex found herself.  
Rent was next to nothing - Nicky had no need for money - and Alex had worked hard to convince her to take _any_ form of payment at all. As a result, they split the cost of gas for the car. They'd take it in turns to drive the beaten old Sedan to their shared workplace, a private all-girls high school located several miles away.  
Nicky could have afforded any car she wanted - the majority of her money was still sitting in Swiss bank accounts, with no purpose other than to gain interest - but she insisted upon driving something that her mother would have hated, one final _fuck you_ to an unloved past.

Acquiescing to her fate for the evening, Alex began to toss empty bottles into the trash bag Nicky had left behind.  
She was sad to let go of this summer, as she was with every other. The last few days had felt like grains of sand trickling between her fingers, and she was reluctant to leave the warmed slates beneath her, knowing that sleep would inevitably bring tomorrow closer. 

Once indoors and downstairs, Alex knuckled somnolence from her eyes, deposited the black bag by the kitchen door and stumbled up to bed.  
The large analogue clock above her bedroom door read 11pm, and Alex had to stifle a groan. She was supposed to be leaving the house in eight hours.  
Under the covers, she resisted the urge to read one of the innumerable books at her disposal, and instead placed her glasses carefully on the bedside cabinet, forcing her eyes closed. 

_She dreamt of benevolent debutantes with ulterior motives, and awoke smiling._


	2. Pride and Prejudice

Natalie Figueroa gazed out into the congregation before her. She had built this school - figuratively speaking, having never actually laid a brick herself - from the ground up, hand selecting staff, courses and facilities. Now in its fifth year, Litchfield Girls’ High School had a reputation to uphold, and it was a damn fine reputation at that. 

Seated before her were women she had known for years. Some she had cherry picked from the surrounding areas, finding which teachers produced the best grades and providing job offers difficult to refuse. Others had been longstanding friends or family acquaintances. 

The mother of Nicky Nichols had been a very influential figure in Natalie's youth, and it was with great pleasure that she had accepted money from her old family friend when building this educational empire. It was only unfortunate that Nicky herself should come as part of the bargain: the blonde was proving to be better at her job than Natalie would like, and as a consequence, finding an excuse to fire her would be problematic. 

As Fig cleared her throat, leaning over the lectern to begin her motivational "do me proud" speech, Alex checked her watch. There would be another thirty minutes of this, she estimated, before she could be back in her classroom.  
Staff had to return to the school one week before students started. Alex usually used this time for changing the displays and catching up with the people she'd missed over summer. Scanning the auditorium, she was reassured to see that none of her friends had thought better of returning.  
There were a few new faces too, although nobody of any real note. That was, until the roll call. 

Fig reeled off the names of the newbies (all lined up and fresh-faced at the front of the room), along with their courses - _Carlin, Chapman, Kukudio, Morello, Rogers_ \- but Alex missed the majority. She was hooked on Chapman, second in line, the slim blonde with hands clasped in front of her like a prom queen waiting on the front step for the crass quarterback to arrive.  
She seemed like the adult epitome of every girl Alex had ever avoided: pretty and preppy and altogether too wholesome. Worse still, she looked like a Republican. All said, there was no denying that she was hot.

Nicky leaned into her, lips at her ear. "Good luck with that one."  
Alex turned slightly, as surreptitiously as possible, eyes still on the stage where the women were waiting. "What?"  
"Piper Chapman. She's in English, with you. Sounds like she and Fig go way back." The blonde muttered, raising a sceptical eyebrow.  
Alex’s stomach clenched at the thought. She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Ugh, fuck _me_."  
Nicky patted her knee condescendingly. "Too late. You only get one chance to break my heart."

*

As soon as the morning meeting was concluded, Piper left the hall in a hurry, her head lowered.  
She wanted to make it to her classroom before she was caught up in pleasantries and courtesies. It had been bad enough that she'd had to stand on the stage, but the fact that Natalie had mentioned their pre-existing friendship had only made matters worse:  
_"Piper and I were debutantes together when we were girls. I want you to make her feel as welcome as she made me feel all those years ago."_  
“Way to ingratiate me, Nat.” Piper mumbled, as she scurried through the freshly-painted corridors in the vague direction of her destination. She wasn’t a sorority sister anymore, and she didn’t want nepotism setting her back on the first day. Piper Chapman was ready to prove herself.

After several wrong turns and a serious case of backtracking, Piper found her assigned room. Bare walls and a view of the athletics track; it could be worse.  
She returned to the boxes she'd dumped there that morning, prior to being spirited away to the staff briefing session. Rummaging through the contents, her fingers found reverently rolled posters, bearing the works of Larkin, Cummings, Duffy. She began to gather pins for their presentation when she heard voices approaching her door, and hesitated.  
Leaning left a little, she could see two women in the corridor: one clearly recalcitrant, the other full of zeal. 

Loitering in the corridor, torn between her own classroom and that of the newcomer, Alex shoved her hands into her pockets, the perfect juxtaposition to Nicky's arms-wide expression of openness.  
"... As much as I'd _love_ to hang out with the preppy princess, I've actually got shit to do."  
"Yeah, like _what_?" Nicky raised a disdainful eyebrow. "Sit in your classroom and listen to obscure angry indie bands that nobody's ever heard of?"  
Alex opened her mouth, ready to respond with some snarky, cutting comment, but instead found herself borne through the classroom door before her at a surprising rate of knots, Nicky's arm around her shoulders like an albatross. 

"Yo, Chapman right?"  
Piper had never been addressed with _yo_ before and found herself faltering, a rabbit-hearted girl in the headlights. She assumed that the two women in her room were also staff members, but coupled her kindness with caution.  
"Yes. Piper Chapman." Piper extended a hand to shake. She was met with a calloused palm and a warm smile.  
"Nicky Nichols. Business teacher."  
The name seemed familiar, and the smile was one she had definitely seen before, but she couldn't place the leonine newcomer. "It's nice to meet you."

Nicky gave the brunette beside her a friendly elbow, and the woman slid a single hand from her pocket, also to make Piper's acquaintance. "I'm Alex. Vause."  
Piper nodded. "Do you teach Business too?"  
Nicky's answering laugh was charismatic but uncouth, and she pressed a fist into Alex's shoulder jovially. "Vause can balance the books like the devil, but that’s not really her calling. Less of a philanthropist and more of a philosopher, ‘m I right Vause?"  
"I teach English.” Alex interjected, casting a weary smile in Nicky’s direction. “My room's next door, if you need anything."

Piper went to respond, but Alex's attention had already wavered, sizing up the posters Piper had lovingly laid along the desks ready for display.  
"Duffy fan?" The brunette asked laconically, eyeing the nearest.  
Piper nodded. "Her book Rapture got me through college."  
"Huh, _interesting_.” The brunette began to pace the rows of desks, deconstructing Piper’s other belonging casually. “Favourite author?"  
The blonde faltered. She hadn't anticipated this, so full was her head of lesson plans and learner needs. "Can I get back to you on that?"  
Alex glanced up, a smile quirking the corner of her mouth. "Sure."

Piper couldn't help but feel judged, with Alex now exploring the boxes of books spread throughout the room, pausing every once in awhile to stroke the spine of a piece that piqued her curiosity or assuaged her academic animosity. Her movements were almost predatory, her gruff exterior belying her grace.

“ _Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit_?” Alex murmured, raising the novel up from its container, running an appreciative hand through the well-thumbed pages.  
Piper nodded, enthused. “I think Winterson’s a little off-kilter, but I love her work.”  
Alex broke away from the book to lock eyes with Piper, one eyebrow raised in an expression that the newcomer was unable to determine the meaning of.

Piper found herself unable to look away, scanning the face of the other woman with evident curiosity. There was something so intriguing about her new colleagues - Alex in particular - and she longed to question, to query, to interrogate in the politest possible fashion. 

As Alex’s eyes dropped to the younger woman’s lips, Nicky - ever the heiress' daughter - decided that she had played intellectual third wheel for long enough, and cleared her throat loudly.  
She knew that look in her friend’s eyes well, those darkened irises of lust and longing, and determined that it might be time to find better places to be.  
"Hey Vause, you wanna come see Red with me?"  
Alex shrugged, a smirk quirking the corners of her mouth as she winked at the newest recruit. "Apparently I've nothing _better_ to do."  
Her head turned away from Piper at an achingly gradual pace, and she eventually nodded at Nicky to confirm her acceptance of the invitation. 

Piper felt as though the nervous first-day butterflies she'd had were suddenly becoming bats. Alex's wink was distractingly flirtatious, and Piper's only considered response was to beam at the brunette as she and the Business teacher took their leave.  
“Thanks for stopping by."  
Alex shrugged, nonchalance issuing away from her in waves. "Welcome to the fold, kid. You know where to find me if you need me." 

She and Nicky departed, and Piper was resuming her poster-hanging as some waylaid words drifted in through her partly-open door, the pair wandering past on their way to another room:  
_”Did I not explicitly say that there would be cute new girls Vause?”_  
_”You don’t get any points for being a smart ass.”_


	3. The Tipping Point

 

Piper was well into her second glass of wine when she finally allowed herself to entertain the thought of Alex Vause.  
She had been home for several hours and was stretched out along the length of the sofa, hair twirled around her fingers as she slipped deeper into thought, retracing every inch of her earlier encounter with the enigmatic woman.

"You want some more wine?"  
Polly shattered her immersion, holding the half-empty bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape in front of her face. Piper shook her head, sighing.  
"I can't, Pol. I've got work tomorrow, remember? It's only Monday."

Polly nudged Piper's legs off the sofa with a mumble of " _budge up_ ", before flopping down unceremoniously beside her.  
"I know you've got work tomorrow, that's why we're drinking the wine." Polly shrugged, by way of explanation. "It's _yay, first day_  wine, as well as _oh no, back to work_  wine." Polly pulled a mock-miserable face, refilling her own glass before setting down the now-empty bottle.

Piper laughed, in spite of herself. "You're a terrible influence."  
Polly rolled her eyes, but didn't deny it. "I just thought a little wine might help. Besides, you've been so distant all night."  
"I had a long day." Piper paused, pondering whether or not to share her tentative encounter with Alex. " _But_ , I met one of my new colleagues in the department."

Polly's eyes were on her immediately, as though she could sense what was coming. "Is he cute?"  
The blonde chose not to correct her. "Tall, dark..."  
"Handsome?"  
"... Heathcliff."  
Polly laughed. "What, he's a total dick?"  
"Not a _dick_ , just… Enigmatic. Like, mysterious, and kind of judgmental, but weirdly attractive with it."  
"Well, that makes a difference. I hate Wuthering Heights, but I've been getting so bored with all these wholesome boys you bring home."  
Piper had the good grace to at least pretend to be surprised. "At least I'm bringing _someone_  home..."  
Polly elbowed her in the ribs, finishing her drink in one swift motion. "You don't get any points unless you bring this one home too. He doesn't count until he gets my seal of approval."  
Piper nodded, but knew that there was no way that Alex would end up in her apartment, let alone seeking Polly's assent. "Don't hold your breath, Pol."

* * *

As the sun streamed in through her windows, Alex pushed her glasses back into her hair. It was Wednesday, and being organised, she was completely ready for the new term. Lacking any real tasks, she'd wasted the past three hours building a playlist on her computer, but it was failing to stem the steady flow of boredom trickling into her mind.  
Having already scoured the books on her shelves for many hours, Alex needed something new to occupy her. It was a relief, therefore, when she heard a tentative knock at the door.

"Yeah?"  
The new English teacher from next door took a hesitant step into the room, eyes casting about until they landed on Alex, whose feet rested on the desk before her as though she owned the place.  
"Mind if I come in?"  
"Piper, hey, sure." The younger woman began to approach the front of the classroom where Alex sat. "Settling in okay?"  
"Yes, thank you." She stopped short of Alex's desk. "And you know, I actually feel like I'm nearly ready for the students?"  
Alex grinned. "Yeah, you might not be saying that come Christmas."  
Piper returned a coy smile. "That's true."

There was a pause, and Alex could feel her social facade slipping incrementally. It wasn't that she didn't like Piper - she actually liked Piper a lot, for someone she barely knew - she simply needed a purpose for the interaction.  
"Can I help you wi-"  
"- _I know what my favourite book is_."  
They laughed awkwardly at their communicative clash, and Alex inclined her head to prompt Piper into continuing.

The blonde scuffed the toe of her shoe against the floor before returning to her sentence.  
"I'm sorry for interrupting, but after our conversation yesterday... I think I know what my favourite book is. Or, _books_."  
"Go on."  
  
Looking the newcomer up and down, Alex made some snap judgments, minor attempts to preempt the possible literary inclinations of the woman before her, noting the skinny blue jeans, the vest top and boat shoes. She settled on chick-lit: Sunday paper abominations and Oprah book-award recipients. Sure, they'd had that conversation about Duffy and Winterson, but those could be college-level reading-list novels; Alex wasn't holding her breath.

"Well," Piper opened, cautiously."You have the classics: Sense and Sensibility, Jane Eyre."  
Alex nodded slowly, wondering whether or not she should rethink her initial judgement as the blonde continued. "I like them - female authors, strong female leads - but I don't love them."  
"Okay, _so_..?"  
Piper began to gather speed in her speech, enthusiasm getting the better of her as she started to speak again. "And then you've got your modern classics: The Secret History, Brick Lane, Handmaid's Tale, and I'm a bigger fan of these, but again there's got to be _more_ , right?"

Alex began to backpedal internally. Perhaps she had read Piper incorrectly after all.  
Piper rambled on, oblivious. "Then I got to thinking, _fuck_ _the reviews_." She hesitated after the curse word, as though anticipating a response. "What do _I_ like?"

Piper had been moving closer and closer to Alex's desk.  
Accommodatingly, Alex had pushed her chair back and shifted her feet from the desk to the floor, making room Piper's entry into her space, giving the woman at least the opportunity to gesture into the open space over the table, if she so chose.  
This wooden obstacle still lay between them - a solid barrier preventing physical contact - but Piper's enthusiasm for whatever she classed as _good literature_ pressed her onward, until she had the palms of her hands flat on the surface before her, her fingertips inches from Alex's.

This was a motion Alex hadn't been anticipating, and Alex wondered if Piper knew just how close she was to encroaching upon her colleague's personal space, opting to stay silent on the matter. If she interrupted Piper's flow now, she may never get to the bottom of this literary mystery.

"I just couldn't whittle it down, there were so many to choose from, and your question has bothered me since you asked. I still didn't know the definitive answer to your question..."  
 _Fucking anticlimax_. Alex wanted to hang her head in frustration. _All this rambling, and still no answer_.  
"... So I wrote a list." And with that, Piper placed a neatly folded sheet of lined A4 paper between Alex's unsuspecting hands, which rested in loose fists on the desk's countertop.

Alex couldn't help but smile. "You wrote a list?"  
"I did."  
Alex shifted forwards in her seat and began to unfold the note, but was prevented from doing so by Piper's intrusive palm on the paper. The woman had leaned forward to halt Alex's assessment of the list that lay before her, closing the distance between them.  
She looked up at that, her own green eyes meeting Piper's blue.  
"It's a work in progress." The blonde mumbled, her fervour for fiction seemingly stifled by their sudden close proximity to one another.

There were so few inches between them, Piper could feel Alex's breath ghosting across her face, and was torn between moving further away and drawing ever nearer.  
She was desperate to brush away the loose strand of hair falling across Alex's face, to see if her skin was truly as soft as it looked, to run a single finger along the length of her jaw and feel the bone beneath the flesh.  
She wanted the confirmation of physical evidence to prove that Alex was real, rather than just the woman she'd been wondering about since their first encounter.

Something inside of Piper flickered, like a candle near an open window, as she resisted the urge to admonish herself for being attracted to a woman. _This hadn't happened since college._  
It was just lust. There was nothing polished or perfect about it. There would be no Martha Wainwright playing in the background, no sound more romantic than a floor-buffer humming in a distant corridor.

 _It was a crush: nothing more, nothing less._ This is what happens when you don't get laid for months, Piper chided herself. _This too shall pass._

Alex's hand shifted a little against the paper they both held, her knuckles brushing against Piper's thumb.  
Piper remained completely still, her breath catching with each shallow inhalation. In spite of her rationality, she felt lightheaded, as though every atom in her being was trembling with anticipation.  
It was almost too much - the tension, the intensity of Alex's gaze, or the way she softly, _oh so softly_ , opened her palm and laid it flat on top of Piper's.

It had been months since she'd had any physical contact other than the perfunctory or the familiar, and the younger woman feared that the telltale tremor of her fingers would reveal the nerves that had started to writhe in the very pit of her stomach. Piper willed herself to stay still, in spite of the adrenaline coursing through her veins.

As Alex applied the slightest of pressure, her flesh warm against Piper's, the paper beneath their shared grip crumpled and creased, the sound ricocheting around the otherwise empty classroom.  
Piper blinked - _once, twice_  - and the moment was gone.

Stepping back a little, she took a steadying breath, all too aware of Alex's eyes still resting on her face. Returning her own gaze to the paper, Piper gestured lamely in the direction of her proffered sheet, her voice audibly higher than usual. "Promise not to judge me?"  
Alex shrugged, still staring at Piper's lips. "No promises. But I _will_  wait until you've gone before I look at the list."

Piper's answering smile was shy, but worth it. Alex couldn't help but fixate on the dimples that formed by the corners of the woman's mouth, or the way she pushed her hands into her pockets to keep from fidgeting.  
It was all somehow endearing, in spite of her evidently upper-middle class upbringing, which Alex had to admit to herself, didn't seem to have affected Piper as negatively as she'd anticipated.  
"Okay?"  
" _Okay_."


	4. The Secret History

 

The remainder of the Piper's week sped by in a blur, and she didn't realised that Friday had rolled around until Nicky arrived in her classroom, unexpected and unannounced. They had crossed paths several times during the week - on the rare occasions that she had ventured to the bathroom - and Nicky's room was at the end of the corridor.  
She had hoped to encounter Alex a little more, but the woman's room was either empty or ringing with heavy bass riffs, and Piper wasn't brave enough to enter when she knew she'd have to yell to be heard.

Nicky's visit was a welcome interruption, particularly as Piper had finished her few remaining tasks that morning, and was whiling away the final hours of the week with an unfinished novel in her lap.  
The Business Studies teacher burst through the doors at a velocity unexpected after a week of work, but Piper supposed that Nicky had probably just been killing time too.  
"Hey Chapman - "  
"Please call me _Piper,_ Nicky."  
"Sure thing, Chapman. We're having a party tonight. It's tradition - last party before the students turn up. You coming?"  
Piper smiled outwardly but faltered internally. "Who's _we_?"  
"Vause and I."  
Nicky's words hung in the air for Piper's consideration, the pounding drums of whatever Alex was listening to next door suddenly seeming louder. The music had become such background noise over the past week that she barely noticed the ever-present soundtrack, but in this moment it became a bugbear, crowding her thoughts.

Nicky sensed the tension and held up a hand, halting any impending conversation as she took several steps backwards to lean out of the door.  
" _Vause_!"  
There was a scraping of chair legs from the next room and the creak of a classroom opening, Alex's music flooding the corridor as the sounds escaped from the ajar exit.  
"What?"  
Although Piper could only see Nicky's side of the interaction, she knew that Alex was grinning, the expression evident in her voice. Nicky's response was a beatific beam, and Piper wondered just _how_ close the two women were.  
"Will ya turn that down? I'm trying to have a civilized conversation in here."  
Alex's answering laugh was a sound that made Piper warm.  
"It's gonna take a lot more than quiet music for you to find some civility, Nick." Came the reply.  
Nicky remained motionless, smile not fading.  
Piper heard a sigh drift out into the empty corridor, and could almost feel Alex's shrug of defeat from where she stood, despite being unable to witness it for herself.  
"Fine," said Alex, at last. "But I'm choosing the music at the party tonight."  
"I can't argue with that." Nicky nodded, graciously accepting the compromise. "If it's shitty, it's all on you."

Nicky returned to Piper's desk, and Alex's music dimmed. The Business Studies teacher gave a victorious smirk.  
"I'm the real power behind the throne." She joked, jerking her head in the direction of Alex's room.  
The overt familiarity of the pair was beginning to make sense.  
"You live together?" Piper inquired.  
Nicky moved to lean on a nearby table, settling in anticipation of a longer conversation. "Yeah, have done for a few years now. It was my mom's house, before she died. I had a spare room, or several, and Vause needed a place to crash. Two birds, one stone." She shrugged nonchalantly, as though death was a daily occurrence and a matter to be monopolised on.

"I'm sorry about your mother." Piper inclined her head a little, sincere.  
Nicky rolled her eyes. "Thanks and everything, but we weren't exactly on speaking terms. She was some upper-east side New York socialite, chair-person of the board, heiress to a fortune, and I was a Bronx punk teaching night classes to illegal immigrants. But hey," Nicky spread her arms. "She paid for most of this place and got me the job, so I guess she wasn't all bad, right?"

Nicky's final comment gave Piper cause to pause, and she leaned forwards in her seat before posing her response. "Your mother put money into this venture?" Piper gestured vaguely at the building surrounding them both.  
"Uh-huh."  
"And your mother was presumably one Mrs Nichols, upper-east side socialite?"  
"Yeah, what's your point Chapman?"  
" _Marka_ Nichols?"  
Nicky bounced off the table and towards the desk at an alarming rate, placing her hands firmly on the wood either side of Piper's own. "Fucking serendipity. I knew I recognised you from somewhere. You're a Saint Agnes girl, right?"  
She levelled a pointed finger near Piper's face, and Piper laughed, rising until she was level with Nicky. "I remember now - you were in the year above me!"

Nicky took a step back, running a hand through her hair and she weighed the odds of their reunion. "More like several years above you, but yeah. Fuck, what're the chances?" She rounded the desk and placed her palms on Piper's shoulders. "I guess it's decided then - now you _have_ to come to the party."  
Turning away from Piper, Nicky hollered out into the corridor, the sheer volume making Piper flinch. "Hey Vause, Chapman's coming tonight!"

After several seconds and the creak of hinges, Alex appeared in Piper's doorway. Her eyebrow was raised as she observed the couple by the desk, leaning against the doorframe in a manner that oozed cool.  
Piper had managed to eschew almost all thoughts of Alex since their meeting days prior, but unable to find another interest to turn her attentions to, Alex seemed to be ever-present.  
Piper liked to pride herself on being able to move on quickly, and Polly repeatedly mocked her for her ability to do so - the girl was like lightning, leaping from one charged target and onto the next, albeit with a tendency to leave scorch marks and burnt trails in her wake.  
And yet here was Alex Vause once more, literally darkening her doorway, in the best possible way.  
"Chapman's doing _what_ tonight?" The implied double entendre was evident.  
"Yeah, _ha_ _ha_." Nicky shook her head at Piper before turning back to Alex. "She's coming to the party."  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Yeah. I think we've got a new recruit into our evenings of drinking and debauchery."  
Alex turned her eyes to the newcomer now, laconic, as she held the same gaze that Piper had encountered earlier that week. "Best news I've heard all week."

* * *

Alex never gave the house more than a cursory clean, but this time she had made an effort. They periodically had friends from work over, but tonight there would be newcomers present, and she'd rather they didn't realise how messy she and Nicky were until they were at least halfway through the first term.  
Alex was also vaguely aware that Nicky had made special efforts to ensure Piper Chapman would attend "for some bonding time", for which Alex was at least a little grateful; the newcomer was cute, if nothing else. It would be beneficial to get to know her a little better, although perhaps not in the _getting to know_ sense that Nicky had in mind.  
But then, if Wednesday had been any indication of the blonde's predilections...

Nicky ploughed in through the open back door with her arms full of bottles, placing them unceremoniously onto the freshly wiped wooden work surface.  
Her colleague in the Business department, Carrie "Big Boo", followed closely, setting down a crate of beers on the floor.  
"Well, that should do me for an hour." The latter laughed, toeing the box with her boot.  
Alex appraised their haul. "Did you remember the mixers?"  
Boo's head whipped around. "Which pussies'll be wanting mixers? The only thing that goes with beer is more beer."  
"Yeah, or snacks. And we bought a shit tonne of snacks." Nicky shrugged, dropping down into an empty chair at the table.  
"I'm sure that this is exactly what your mother had in mind for you to spend your inheritance on." Boo laughed.  
Nicky shrugged, evidently capable of caring less. "I think she was mostly mad that she didn't have chance to write me out of her will."

"If there aren't any mixers, what're the _nice girls_ supposed to drink?" Alex asked skeptically, revisiting their original conversation. "Or are you going to tell them that they should've brought their own?"  
Boo's laugh was an uproar in their quiet kitchen, a fist-fight in a five-star hotel. "You know nice girls Nicky? What, d'you tell 'em you were Paris Hilton's junkie cousin?"  
Nicky rolled her eyes. "Ah, fuck." Rising to her feet, she levelled a pointed finger with Alex's face. "Number one - fuck you. Write a shopping list or something next time." Turning to Boo, she slapped the woman on the back jovially. "Number two - we're going back out. Get your keys. Number three -"  
Alex raised her hands in mock surrender as Nicky leaned past the departing Boo to express her frustration once more. " _Fuck you_."  
"You already said that, Nick."  
Alex watched them leave, resisting the urge to gesture at their thrice-drafted pre-party shopping list taped to the fridge, the top of which was adorned with a single, thrice-underlined word: mixers.

* * *

Two hours had passed since the party had first started, and nobody had stormed out, yet.  
As a result, Nicky was officially classing this as a success.  
Boo had been promised a spliff if she made it through the evening without upsetting any attendees, and usually when they gathered so many women from one workplace in a single space, shit hit the fan fairly swiftly. But apparently not tonight.

The new girls seemed decent, much to Nicky's surprise. Stella, a new member of the music department, was deep in conversation with Taystee by the CD player, and had brought a bottle of tequila, despite claiming to be straight edge.  
Morello - this year's driver's ed tutor - was preoccupied trying to teach the drama staff a seemingly complex choreography routine from West Side Story. Nicky watched her body sway in time to the soundtrack evidently playing in her mind, before begrudgingly deciding better of making a move, at least for now.

Making her way through to the kitchen for another beer, Nicky found Alex on the back step, door wide open as Red - known as such for her heritage, hair, and multitude of jokes about communist Russia - held court.  
Nicky couldn't hear the words of the Home Economics teacher, but she knew that they would be heartfelt. She watched the monologue end with the woman approach Alex and embrace her.  
 _Alex's mother had died the summer before, and although time made the passing easier, Red had somewhat filled the maternal gap left empty in Alex's life, as well as her own. Nicky was eternally grateful for the older woman's support._

Alex had always appreciated Nicky's willingness to turn a blind eye to her less enjoyable emotions, and her housemate dutifully repeated this act as Alex entered the kitchen through the back door, brushing away embarrassed tears with the back of her hand.  
"I think Alex may need another beer." Red followed, patting the brunette on the shoulder as she moved past her, heading away into another room.  
Nicky obliged, setting a chilled bottle down in front of Alex, who slumped at the table to toy with her new vessel of alcohol.

"Chin up, stretch." Nicky ruffled Alex's hair. "Chapman should be here soon."  
The brunette rolled her eyes involuntarily, a grim laugh falling from her lips.  
"Hey," Nicky chided. "She's waspy, and entitled, and I bet she's always asking if they stock shit in whole-grain, but so what? She's cute."  
Alex huffed out a sigh, reluctantly relenting. "Yeah, she's got that whole Bambi schtick going on."  
Nicky nodded approvingly. "That's the spirit Vause. She might even talk literature to you. I know how _you_ love that."  
Alex glanced up from the label she'd been peeling away from the brown glass, eyeliner smudged, and laughed a little. "Great. Then maybe I can cry on her, instead of an ageing Russian woman."  
"Sure," Nicky shrugged. "Chicks dig a weeper. Shows you've got a heart somewhere inside that black pit of a soul."  
With a gentle punch to Alex's bicep, Nicky left her alone with her thoughts.


	5. You Deserve A Drink

Piper scrambled out of the taxi, pulling a scrap of paper from her bag as she did. Turning to the driver’s open window, she stuck her head inside the cab once more. 

“You're  _ sure _ that this is the right address?” She raised the paper into his eyeline. 

The man nodded. “I'm so sure, lady. Difficult to mistake it for somewhere else, right?”

Reluctantly, Piper nodded and withdrew. 

 

Gravel crunched behind her as the car peeled away down the drive, and Piper found herself regarding the huge house before her with awe. 

The large picture windows set flush against the bare concrete and wood exterior seemed at odds with what little she knew of Nicky, but if this home had been inherited, it might make more sense. Piper could remember from her youth that the ever-inspirational Marka Nichols had always been afraid of being left behind, and it seemed logical that her architectural aesthetic should mirror that. 

 

As though predicting her approach, the front door opened within meters of her impending arrival, although rather than be welcomed in, a body came barrelling out, husky Southern tones reaching the ears of the new arrival. 

“There is only  _ one God _ , Cindy. How many times do we have to go over this?” 

A diminutive brunette hollered back into the depths of the house, before turning her from the entrance way and heading in Piper’s direction.

“Can you believe them Jews?” She asked of the newcomer while still several meters from her. Piper was almost too startled to respond. 

 

Hot on her heels was a much taller woman, gesticulating wildly as she called after the seemingly anti-semitic ball of frustration before Piper. 

“Come on Tiffany, we've been over this!”

Without turning to the speaker, Tiffany responded in Piper’s direction. “Shut your cake hole Cindy, you're still wrong!”

Piper held out a hand, although whether it was seeking peace or self-defence, she wasn't sure. ”I'm sorry, I don't think I understand.”

 

“Cindy here,” Tiffany paused as Cindy drew level with them. “Seems to think that the  _ good Christian God _ isn't the right God for her.  _ Heathens _ , am I right?” 

Her tone was strained, and despite Piper’s abhorrence for upsetting people, this woman seemed to have some of her information fundamentally incorrect, regardless of exactly  _ what _ Cindy had said. 

 

“Well,” the blonde ventured, tentatively glancing between both women. “Both religions essentially study the Hebrew Bible, and we can trace Christianity  _ and _ Judaism back to the prophet Abraham, so…”

Piper trailed off, Tiffany visibly prickling with revulsion before her. 

“Is everybody here crazy but me?” The brunette explained, throwing her hands in the air. Shaking her head with disdain, she pushed past Piper - jostling her shoulder as she did so - and continued away from the house. 

* * *

 

Alex recognised the expression on Cindy's face from a mile off, and nudged a clean wine glass in the woman’s direction as she entered the crowded kitchen, her hands about her head as though there was a bee nearby.

“Pennsatucky problems?”

Cindy seized the glass and sought a bottle from the fridge, shaking her head. “That girl doesn't know shit.” The Religious Education teacher turned to a figure in the doorway, identity continually obscured by the throng of bodies moving around them. “You want wine?”

“I brought beer, but thank you.” The unidentifiable speaker responded above the din coming from the living room. 

“I like self-sufficiency” Cindy said approvingly with a smile, before settling her gaze on Nicky, who leant against the oven behind Alex. “I found this one wandering the driveway. She one of yours?”

With a jerk of her thumb in the stranger’s direction, the crowd parted, and Alex laid eyes on Piper Chapman, radiant in blue jeans and a white shirt. 

 

Nicky approached the newcomer, laying her hand on Alex’s shoulder as she passed, a brief glancing gesture of recognition. “One of mine?  _ Ha _ . A girl can dream.” 

Nicky embraced a startled Piper, who seemed overwhelmed simply by the presence of the other partygoers.

 

“Dreaming’s all Nicky could ever do with a girl like that.” Boo remarked from the back door, stubbing her cigarette butt against the outer wall and dropping the filter into an empty plant pot. “That pageant queen’s never touched a pussy in her life.”

Alex turned her head away from Nicky’s opening gambit, doing her best to seem as disinterested as possible. “No?”

“Chapman was a bicurious college girl,  _ at best _ .”

Alex rose from her seat, closing in on Boo, beer bottle cradled in her right hand as she extended her left towards the woman leaning against the doorframe. “Fifty says you're wrong.”

Boo was evidently taken aback by the bet, but compensated with a filthy laugh and a forthright handshake, sealing the deal. “You're on, Vause. Let's hope you know something I don't, for your sake.”

 

Alex relished a challenge, and this was no exception. She didn’t know Piper well enough to be concerned about breaking her heart, and for a single night of fucking, she figured Piper could take care of herself. Or she could just turn her down.

The girl was hot, the bet was worth it, and there would be no hard feelings come morning.  _ If she could pull it off _ .

 

_ Far back in Alex’s mind, a single thought bloomed like a flower in spring, wondering how the blonde would feel, would kiss, would sound.  _

_ It took all of Alex’s strength to ignore the fact that this was simply another excuse to spend time with the beautiful woman she’d been wondering about for a week _ .

 

* * *

 

She was stupid to have drunk so much,  _ stupid _ , but she’d been so nervous.

Alex had given her a wide berth for the first hour, and Piper hadn’t been certain if that was purposeful, or if Alex was simply more preoccupied with others present. 

Piper had been perusing the extensive music collection the at the brunette was as Boo had approached her, hand outstretched, offering greetings and brash laughter. 

The blonde liked the woman’s forthrightness, her open gambit labelling her as the  _ best butch you’ll ever know _ , and was ready to accept her invitation to “a tour of the grounds” when Alex interrupted, appearing as if from nowhere. 

She made a vaguely coded comment about Nicky possessing  _ something special to smoke _ , and Boo left with a wink, hard slap on the back leaving Piper reeling in her wake.

 

The two women had stood in silence, the blonde desperately grasping for something to say to kill the rift between them.

“I like this song.” Piper said suddenly, a little  _ too _ loudly, voice rising above the music.

Alex laughed, painfully aware of Piper’s awkwardness. “Yeah? You a fan of The Joy Formidable?”

“Oh, yeah. I loved their first album.” Piper was lying.

“Mm.” Alex nodded, thoughtfully. “And how about their fourth?  _ Rave _ reviews.”

The younger woman nodded enthusiastically, almost spilling a little of her drink in a self-conscious gesture to endear herself to the brunette. 

“The fourth was great, definitely. But maybe too many, um… Guitar solos?”

“Oh yeah.” Alex nodded affirmatively, “And if they’d  _ released  _ a fourth album, you’d be totally right.”

Piper deflated, rumbled, fictional music bravado concluded. “They  _ haven’t _ released a fourth album?”

Alex shook her head, shrugging. ”No fourth album.” She jostled Piper’s shoulder affectionately, shotgunning the rest of her drink. “No hard feelings, kid. I have a sixth sense for bullshit.”

With a wink, she ambled off into the throng, leaving Piper feeling warm. 

She may have been called out as a pretender, but in the best possible way.

 

* * *

It was only two hours into the party before  _ it _ had happened again. Why did this  _ always _ happen when they had a party?

Alex couldn’t remember who had instigated the game of strip poker, but she distinctly remembered that Boo had wanted to play strip poker or strip Boo, and Alex knew which she preferred.  _ She had seen enough of Boo’s body after their sessions at the gym to know that the woman wasn’t quite her type _ .

 

Glancing around the room - smoothly enough that nobody could accuse her of allowing her eyes to linger, yet slowly enough that she could observe Piper’s semi-clothed form from where she sat - Alex couldn’t see the game lasting for much longer.

Cindy was down to her underwear, the new music teacher was distinctly lacking anything above the waist, and Red had been forced to leave several minutes ago, despite her initial claims that “no-one beats a Russian at poker”.

There were four of them still left with any chance of winning: Nicky, Morello, Piper, and Alex herself. 

 

While Piper’s jeans and bra had been discarded - leaving her in underwear and a long white shirt - Alex had only lost her socks, much to the protestations of the others, and she wondered if she’d imagined the glint of disappointment in Piper’s eye when she’d refused to remove her t-shirt first, having ignored Nicky’s insistent requests.

 

As her housemate sought more alcohol to fuel their dwindling card game, Alex stole a brief view of the blonde opposite. 

Piper had become particularly preoccupied by the tattoos of Stella, the music department’s most recent recruit. Alex had to give Stella the credit - they were excellent tattoos - but Piper had barely been able to keep her eyes away from the Australian after she’d lost her shirt in the second round. Having since opted out of the game, Stella had remained shirtless, although Alex wondered if this was due to the attention she’d garnered as a result.

 

Trailing a curious finger along the thickly-inked lines of Stella’s body art, Piper leaned almost closer to the woman than Alex could bear to watch, and she forced herself to turn away, only to be faced with Boo instead.

The woman planted a friendly punch in the centre of Alex’s bicep, laughing quietly. 

“Looks like there’ll be no fifty for you tonight, Vause.”

Alex shrugged, aiming for nonchalant, but landing squarely among the waves of woebegone instead. “Fine by me. Probably a pillow queen anyway.”

Boo’s laugh increased in volume. “Don’t fucking pretend you don’t  _ love  _ a pillow queen.” 

With a firm slap to the shoulder, Boo began to coax Cindy away from the game, collecting her car keys and coat as she strode - in only her underwear - toward the front door.

 

As Boo bid the room goodnight (and the room replied in kind), Cindy stubbornly pulled her clothes back on. Copious amounts of wine had made her recalcitrant, and even though Boo was her ride home, she was reluctant to leave mid-round, still convinced that she stood a chance of winning.   
Ushering the pair out, Nicky returned to the table, providing Morello with a fresh glass of wine and Piper with a cold beer. 

 

They played another hand, of which Alex fell foul, failing to produce even a high card during the round.

“Well,” Nicky was looking at her expectantly. “You gonna take your shirt off or what?” 

Piper’s curiosity definitely seemed to have been piqued. The room became quiet, Morello observing the scene from over her glass of wine, joyous scandal etched into her features as though she’d never seen another woman in only her bra, despite her topless colleague beside her.

 

Ignoring everybody else in the room, Alex decided to take a gamble. Pushing her glasses back on top of her head and tucking her fingers beneath the hem of her t-shirt, she held Piper’s eye contact. Without breaking the gaze, Alex inched the shirt up her chest, revealing the pale skin that lay below.

Discarding the item over her shoulder, she placed her hands on the armrests of the chair, leaving her body open for viewing. 

_ After all, there was still a bet to be won _ .


	6. Not That Kind Of Girl

Two beers and four - _or was it five?_ \- tequila shots down, and Piper felt dizzy.  
She was becoming increasingly unsure of herself, wondering if the symptom was a byproduct of the alcohol, or something a little more closely connected to the beautiful woman who had just performed a partial strip-tease in the seat opposite.

Gone were the fleeting thoughts of Stella - whose body art was both a source of attraction and fascination - and instead, Alex Vause had entered her mind once again, all alabaster-white skin, long dark ringlets and tar-black ink.  
 _God, she was hot._

Somehow, miraculously, the removal of the brunette's clothes had done nothing to decrease the enigma that was Alex Vause. If anything, Piper had more questions now, her head abuzz with wonderings and completely unbidden wishful thinking.

Alex didn't appear to be as hard and angular as Piper was, although her nature seem to disagree. For all her soft curves, Alex had a sharp mind and a sharper tongue - _if any of the stories she'd heard were true_ \- and Piper was beginning to toy with the very notion of that tongue when she received a pointed elbow in the ribs.

She glanced at the bets laid out on the table, and realised that it was her chance to check or bet, to play it safe and stay as she was, or to gamble it away and risk it all.

The faster Piper forced herself to think, to move, to interact, the slower the world around her seemed to become. She needed to determine her next move, and instead she was fixating on the minutiae of each image: the curvature of the clubs, sharp edges of the diamonds.  
She could hear her own pulse pounding somewhere inside of her, and wondered if she'd stared at the queen of hearts for too long.  
She wanted to make a joke about Alice in Wonderland, and how she felt somebody had already taken "off with her head", but she couldn't make it work within her mind. Eventually, she pulled two cards at random from her hand, a something-of-spades and a picture card, and placed them delicately on the table, raising her gaze to meet the eyes of the other players.

"Piper," Stella laughed beside her. "You're fucked."  
People around them laughed, and Piper herself benignly followed suit.  
She had learnt years ago to mimic the motions of others - to shadow their smiles with her own, to echo every empty sentiment, to let mirth spill from her lips as a reflex response to mirror those around her - and it was trait that served her well.  
That evening however, in her nervousness she had accepted each drink offered to her, not bothering to pace herself. Now she was paying for her negligence.

Nobody knew her well enough yet to be aware of the fact that she was, in all truth, a lightweight. She'd never confess to the fact that on a normal night with Polly, she'd consume less than a third of a bottle and have to call a cab home.  
It was a safely-guarded secret, her low level of alcohol tolerance. She'd kept it quiet since college, the best breeding ground for inebriated incidents, and could recall innumerable occasions in which she'd had to hold back Natalie Figueroa's hair after one too many.

"Hey, _Chapman_."  
Somebody nearby wanted her attention.  
"Over here, bring both eyes, c'mon."  
It was Nicky, chuckling. The host had her arm around Morello, who had some point vacated her seat beside Piper, and was now leaning against Nicky. "How're you getting home?"  
Piper glanced around her as though she'd seen the answer somewhere in the room. "I was going to call a cab..?"  
"Is that a question or an answer?" Nicky responded with further mirth.  
Piper wasn't sure how to respond, but Nicky filled in the space for her anyway.  
"Stay here for tonight. There's enough beds, and I'd rather you passed out among friends than in the back of a stranger's car."  
"I'd offer to take you home," chimed in the Australian to Piper's left, "but if you vomit, I'm out."  
Stella raised both hands to indicate her lack of participation in the likelihood of such an event, and began to gather her discarded clothes.

Alex remained quiet, and as Piper gathered the courage to make eye contact with the only remaining person in the room who hadn't yet ridiculed her, the brunette's piercing gaze pinned the younger woman to her seat.  
"I think you'd better stay here." Alex's tone was so solemn, an anchor in the ocean of one-too-many, and Piper felt sick with regret.  
The older woman rose slowly from her chair, heading off in the direction of the kitchen, and Piper looked longingly after.

Nicky and Morello slumped together into Alex's now-empty seat, watching Piper for signs of sickness or health.  
"You wanna stay too, Carlin?" Nicky's words stopped the new music teacher as she donned her jacket, phone in hand ready to call a cab.  
"Nah. I've got to hit the gym tomorrow morning. Places to be, y'know?"  
Nicky nodded, eyeing the woman with an expression that Piper couldn't fathom. "Sure thing. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."  
Stella laughed and cocked an eyebrow in Piper's direction.  
"Night Chapman."  
"Have a good time at the gym." Piper replied, smile feeling too big for her face.  
"Mm." Stella nodded before returning her gaze to Nicky. "Make sure she gets to bed, yeah?"  
Nicky laughed. "Scout's honour."

* * *

By the time Alex had returned from the kitchen - bearing a large glass jug of ice cubes and water - Stella had departed, and Nicky and Morello were heading upstairs, midway through a conversation about whether either of them had ever been actually been a girl scout.  
Nicky gave her housemate a parting nod before leaving, left arm around Morello as the right guided them up the stairs.

Alex set the jug and a single red solo cup on the table where the playing cards still lay, stacking the deck silently until all the pieces had been packed away. She could feel Piper watching her intently, like a cat with a bird, and directed the woman's attention to the empty drinking vessel on the wooden surface before her.  
"You need to finish this if you're going to feel better any time soon."

"That's a lot of water." The blonde observed quietly.  
Alex sat beside her on the sofa, carefully filling the cup three-quarters full, before retrieving a second cup from the floor, dubiously scanning its interior to check for cleanliness.  
"How about we both drink some, then see how we feel?" She filled the second cup with water, and nudged it in Piper's direction.

The blonde was evidently _very_ drunk, and it was almost alarming to see how quickly she had lost control.  
Bet with Boo or no bet with Boo, Alex wasn't one to take advantage, and there were no exceptions to that rule, although she had to admit that what had initially begun as a challenge from a friend had now mutated into a genuine interest.  
Piper seemed sweet. A little naive, but evidently well-educated. The girl was also clearly oblivious to her own charms - that smile, those eyes, the figure that Alex couldn't help but let her eyes linger on.  
Despite how attracted Alex found herself to Piper - a feeling that was increasing with each day that passed - if they were to fuck, Alex wanted it to be a night to remember, rather than a feeling to forget; no dubious consent, just two women who meant what they said.

Piper, less dizzy now, felt as though she was seeing Alex with fresh eyes - ironic, she knew, considering the severity of her beer goggles.  
The acerbic woman Piper had thought to observe was nowhere to be found: Alex seemed to have a gentler side, and despite the circumstances, Piper couldn't help but enjoy it.

They finished their first cups of water together in silence, Piper staring into hers as though the answers lay at the bottom. Alex simply say back in her seat, waiting.

"Did you read my list of books?" Piper asked, suddenly.  
"Not yet." Alex seemed taken aback, and smiled. "I can do it now though."  
Piper shook her head a little overzealously, her vision still taking its time to catch up with her. "We had a deal. No reading it when we're together."  
"You sure?" Alex fished around in the back pocket of her jeans, and tugged out the list Piper had written her.

The fluttering in Piper's stomach emerged from nowhere. _Had Alex been carrying the list with her?_  
"I was looking for a quiet moment to read it." The brunette said off-handedly, striving for casual but instead landing somewhere closer to self-conscious. Piper could sense the subtle nuance beneath the words, and even in her inebriated state, she recognised the value of whatever it was that Alex wasn't saying.

Alex was aware that she had given herself away; the very act of carrying the note around as though it was some sort of totem could be symbolic of so many things: _the significance she placed in other people's private cultural markers, the importance of literature in her own life, the simple fact that a pretty girl had given her a labour of love…  
_ Piper wasn't to know, and Alex definitely wouldn't confess to it.

In truth, she had moved Piper's list between the pockets of every pair of jeans she'd worn, and even once tucked it into her bra on an evening out with Nicky, a tight-fitting dress leaving nothing to the imagination, but also leaving her nowhere else to store the slender slip of literary sentiment.  
It wasn't that she was fixating on the object, but simply that it felt important that she read it, as though it might give her a greater understanding of her new colleague, the woman she was gradually finding herself more and more drawn to.  
It had been a matter of days since she received it, and yet, she still couldn't bring herself to look at the damn thing.

Brushing aside the momentary introspection and refilling their drinking vessels, Alex raised her cup in Piper's direction.  
"Here's to new friends?"  
Piper collected her own cup from the table and nudged it against Alex's, aloft in the air, conscious not to spill anything on either of them.  
" _New friends_." She echoed, wishing for more than that.

It was reminiscent of every birthday, the cake with candles ready to be blown out and traded for wishes that would never come true.  
Taking a drink, the water was lukewarm, and she felt it trail from her tongue, down her throat. She became aware of Alex's eyes on her mouth, and self-consciously wet her lips.  
She watched the brunette opposite her for several seconds before drawing attention to the stillness between them.

"Alex?"  
Alex's gaze lifted immediately, drawn from her reverie at an alarming pace. "Yeah?"  
She had been caught staring, she knew, and wondered if it was too late to find some excuse. _What could she even say?_  
Piper didn't respond, and Alex knew she'd have to fill the void with something, anything.  
"How're you feeling kid?"

The moment had passed. Piper was both relieved and disappointed. What would it have taken for Alex to close the distance between them, to make the first move? Presumably some signal from Piper herself that she was interested, intrigued - anything above intoxicated and inept.

"I feel better, thanks." Piper eventually responded, tongue thick in her mouth as she wondered what else she could say.  
Alex exhaled, visibly relaxing before her.  
"Good. I thought I was going to have to hold your hair back."  
Piper kept her gaze steady, watching a scowl cross the brunette's face like a cloud passing the sun. She wondered if anybody had ever told Alex how attractive she was, and paused before speaking again, measuring the weight of her words.  
"I need..." She trailed off, frowning.  
Alex's brow furrowed. "You need _what_?"

Piper moved closer, the gap between she and the object of her affection narrowing as the blonde raised her hand, letting her fingers brush over Alex's cheek.  
"I _need_ …"  
Leaning in, Piper knew that this might be her only real opportunity to make the fever dreams of the last week anything like real life. At least she could brush  
this off as a mistaken, drunken fumble the next morning; Alex would never be any wiser.

"What do you need, Piper? I can't give you what you need if you don't tell me what it is."  
The brunette took hold of Piper's elevated wrist gently, but made no motion to stop her.  
The air between them felt electric, and as Piper traced the hard line of Alex's jaw, she noted the softness of the other woman's skin, and the warmth of her body.

"Piper -" Alex murmured haltingly, her words hazy with hesitation but edged with something else, something more corporeal, something urgent.  
To Piper's waterlogged mind, it sounded _almost_ like lust. Focusing her vision on Alex's eyes, they seemed darker than they had earlier, irises almost blackened around the edges, both a warning and an invitation. _Surely not._

Alex thought she must be dreaming: girls like Piper Chapman did not want to kiss girls like Alex Vause, unless it was a dare or a challenge, and Alex had shrugged off that role many years ago.  
Yet somehow, here they were.  
Piper clearly knew her own mind, distinctly more sober now than she had been. Her movements had stilled, and her vision no longer wandered, but now lingered, for some reason, on Alex's own lips.

Piper lifted her gaze ever so slowly, knowing that the moment she made eye contact would be her opportunity. Her whole body hummed with the thought of _what could be to come_ , in some parallel universe where everything went her way, and beautiful women with brains the size of Borneo wanted to bed her and hang about for breakfast.  
Steeling herself, she looked straight into Alex's eyes. "I need _you_."


	7. The Art of Asking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for JayJamie - happy birthday.

Piper's hand moved to the back of Alex's head, tugging the older woman closer, and Alex mirrored the motion, fingers tangling in silken hair as their lips met. _Finally._

Piper had kissed women before, dismissing each and every event as college experimentation, sleepover-induced silliness, nothing noteworthy.  
This seemed somehow different: tender, softer, kinder. It was almost as though Alex cared.

None of Piper's previous kisses could have prepared her for this.

Alex did not rush, nor was she a person to be rushed.  
She placed her free hand gently on Piper's, which had been toying nervously with the edge of the cushion between them.  
Their fingers entwined, and it felt oddly reminiscent of the very first time she had held hands with another girl, full of naïveté and misplaced trust.  
Alex was a woman who lived in memories, dwelling in the darkened corners of remembering when she ought to forget. For every curse this carried, it also gave gifts, and she hoped to hold onto this brief happiness for a long time.

The kiss deepened, and Alex heard a soft moan escape from the blonde's mouth.  
They broke apart for a moment and Piper dipped her head, emitting a quiet, self-conscious laugh.  
Alex caught a glimpse of the younger woman's expression, her face full of bashful joy.  
Reaching out with her free hand, she brushed a single strand of hair away from Piper's eyes.

_Fuck, she was beautiful._

Faltering in response to the unexpected gesture, Piper blurted out, awkwardly desperate for something to fill the space of social anxiety she was at risk of wedging between them: "You're a good kisser."  
The words had left her mouth before she'd had the chance to check them. _Smooth, Chapman. Really smooth.  
_ Alex chuckled. "Thanks. So are you."  
Her answering words were warm and appreciative. The older woman's serenity seemed to have sobered Piper surprisingly swiftly, and she simply felt warm now, the alcohol losing its sting with every second that passed.  
" _So_..." Piper began, not sure where to go now that this bridge had been crossed.  
Alex filled the silence. "Ready for bed?"

Alex didn't want to preemptively end their evening, but she was all too aware that Piper had recently been deemed too drunk to see herself home. It was the early hours of the morning now, and they'd have to sleep at some point.  
They had kissed, and Alex had enjoyed it, and she was ready now to quit while they were ahead, to move on before her heart got hold of something meaningful.  
Alex liked Piper more and more, the minutes ticking by only serving to cement this feeling, and she ran the risk of becoming attached. _Better not_.

Noting Piper's slightly surprised expression, Alex quickly clarified her question.  
"I'm not propositioning you. I'm suggesting we sleep."  
"Will you be coming?" Piper inquired quietly.  
She hadn't expected to be so direct, but her mouth seemed to be running of its own accord once more. Alex simply smirked and raised an eyebrow.  
"Depends. Are you still drunk?"  
The blonde flexed her fingers within Alex's warm grasp and shook her head. "Not as much as I was. I feel _much_ better."

Piper wasn't sure if she was seeking sex or simply some companionship; the concept of the former had previously terrified her, but Alex somehow made it seem less daunting.  
Either way, she preferred the thought of sharing a room with Alex to sleeping alone.

They gazed at one another for a little longer, Piper's eyes roaming Alex's body, hungrily but hesitantly. Alex watched the woman watching her, wondering if they were caught in some moebius loop of lust.  
As Piper began to chew her bottom lip, evidently toying with the notion of something, Alex found that she couldn't resist any longer.  
 _If the worst that came of this was a crush on her colleague, she could live with that._

Closing the distance between them once more, she released Piper's hand and ran both of her own through the blonde's hair, pulling her in for a second kiss.  
This was more heated, and any indication that they had been holding back last time was now thrown to the wind.  
Piper felt Alex's chest press against her, the gentle curve of her breasts and the silken fabric of her bra against her own delicate skin through the thin fabric of her shirt.  
Mere moments passed before both women were gasping for air, grasping for greater contact, wanting, _needing_.

Alex began to lead the encounter, pressing Piper backwards until they lay on the couch, Alex on top, her weight pinning Piper to the seat.  
The younger woman's hands found Alex's hourglass waist, fingers leaving brief indentations in the soft skin as she wrapped her legs around Alex's hips, hugging her closer, their bodies no longer separated by the tension hanging in the air.  
Piper felt Alex suddenly draw away and wondered if she had moved too far too fast, but instead the woman began to kiss down her neck, lips labouring over the pulse point tucked beneath the corner of her jaw.  
Body humming with anticipation, unable to silence herself, Piper moaned.

Taking this a sign to continue, Alex _ever so gently_ began to sink her teeth into the pale flesh.  
The hands that Piper had placed on Alex became insistent, fingernails tracing crescent moons where they fell, tracking thin marks across Alex's ribs, red lines of a lover's demands to be found in the pale morning light.  
Piper was overcome with lust as she felt Alex's hips press into her, a barely concealed gasp slipping from the brunette's mouth. _She had done something right_.

The younger woman was wracked with a nervous excitement, yet knowing that she had elicited a moan from Alex spurred her on. She laid a tentative hand on Alex's back, finding the clasp of her bra, and fumbled with the catch.

Alex couldn't help but laugh a little, the vibrations of her mirth skittering across Piper's skin: Piper was cute, but she lacked finesse.  
Pulling back until she was kneeling, Alex smirked. "Let me help."  
Piper blushed self-consciously, head hanging like a disciplined child.  
Unclipping the fastening and shrugging the bra off her shoulders, Alex reached out to Piper, slim fingers caressing the curve of her jaw, and lifted the blonde's head until their eyes met.

The ensuing gaze was heated, intense. Piper held the contact like a challenge, and Alex sought out the doubt in her eyes, only to discover that there was none to be found.  
"Practice makes perfect, Pipes." She whispered, voice so low that Piper would later wonder if she had dreamt it.  
Taking Piper's hand in hers, Alex placed the younger woman's palm against her chest.  
Her nipples brushed against Piper's hesitant hold, and she pressed forward, moaning softly from the contact.

Piper inhaled audibly, closer to a gasp than a breath. Alex's breasts were _perfect_.  
She raised her other hand to the same level, mirroring the motion Alex guided, and found herself mesmerised by the response.  
Each time she made the slightest motion, the most cursory connection, Alex couldn't help but roll her hips, appreciation etched into every aspect of her being, each sigh a nigh-on silent prayer in thanks.

" _Fuck."_ Piper let the phonemes tumble from her lips, resolve crumbling as she moved nearer.  
"Do you want to?" Alex asked softly.  
Piper looked up at her as if in a daze, eyes shining in the low light of the room. "Do I want to what?"  
Alex edged closer, until Piper's hands were the only thing preventing the press of their chests together. Her lips grazing Piper's, hands finding the curve of the blonde's ass, she whispered the verb into Piper's mouth like it was an illicit drug: " _Fuck."_  
"Oh."  
Piper's surprised reply made Alex wonder if she had read the situation wrong - maybe this was just a little foreplay, never destined to go any further - but it proved to be merely a moment of hesitation on Piper's part.  
"Yes."  
"Yeah?"  
Alex had to check for clarification, not wanting to let her hopes rise any higher without due cause.  
Piper nodded effusively in response, and the brunette ran a hand through her hair.

Piper would not be the first "straight" person she'd slept with, and Alex assumed that she was not the first woman Piper had ever kissed. Regardless, she would have to play this evening carefully if she wanted a second opportunity to revisit the scene of the crime, and _fuck_ , she definitely wanted to see Piper like this again.

A stillness had settled between them, and Piper knew that she must make herself clear.  
"Your room?"  
Alex's grin was Cheshire-cat-like, and Piper felt privileged to bear witness to such a sight.  
The brunette's tousled hair and jet-black eyeliner made her skin seem to glow in the lamplight, and Piper wanted her even more so than before.

Alex took Piper's hand in hers and they rose from their shared seat.  
"Come on. Before the sun rises."  
The blonde allowed herself to be tugged upright. "Lead the way."  
Alex smirked. "I thought I already had."

 


	8. The Night Circus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a little more adult than the others have been. You've been warned...

 

The two women stumbled up the darkened stairs in the half-light of the very early morning, slivers of an orange haze along the horizon filtering in through cracks in the curtains.

Finding one another in the gloom, Alex's body framed Piper's against the nearest wall like a work of art. Piper ran her hands through the hair of the brunette who held her, closer than she had been held by anybody in so many months.  
Alex seemed to have a way of making even the least significant gesture mean more than any other, and as they stilled against one another, the architecture of their attraction became apparent with each press of their lips.

Under the premise of being an open book, Alex was a master of keeping everybody at arm's length, and yet against her better judgement she wanted to pull Piper in, this nebulous newcomer she had been witness to for a mere week.  
She barely knew the effervescent young woman, but her warmth was evident. There was something painfully comforting about her wholesomeness, her white-picket privilege.  
Alex felt sick to the stomach knowing that Piper was the kind of girl she should have hated at school, but Piper seemed bigger than the bickering and bitching, able to have somehow risen above the self-righteous Daddy's girls who had made her life hell.

Alex's gentle caress combined with the tentative touch of the tip of a tongue against her own, and Piper too was awash with wondering: jumping the gun, as she was accustomed to do.  
At that moment, she was considering what could happen when they awoke.  
Reality was bound to come crashing down upon them at some point, but still she found herself hoping, hesitantly, that perhaps Alex might like her to stay for breakfast, or brunch, or maybe even lunch, committing to the midday meal as though this act might mean more than another midnight mistake.

Since her teenage years, Piper had been content with throwing caution to the wind. Growing up in a house with a volatile father and a pressure-cooker mother, she'd learnt (after too many years of being afraid to leap from the school bus) to give in to her urges. Sometimes they were the only peace she'd get.  
In the past she'd had a tendency to make impulsive decisions to please those around her ( _sure, I'd love for you to pierce my ears in the girls' bathrooms at break_ ), and these moments of madness had served as her own minor rebellions for years.  
This, however, felt like the best impulse she'd ever played on.  
The moment Piper's heart had whispered those immutable, immortal words - _you could sleep with her, if you wanted to_ \- Piper knew waiting would never win out.

Aware that they were running the risk of being caught, precariously poised at the pinnacle of the stairway as they were, Alex slipped her hands under Piper's shirt, the soft cotton grazing her knuckles with a feather-light touch as she traced the cathedral of Piper's ribcage reverently.  
Piper's hips lifted almost imperceptibly against Alex's own, a shiver against the shifting fabric that rested across her heated skin.

"Bedroom." The brunette's voice was low, commanding. " _Now_."

Turning the handle on the nearest door, Alex backed Piper into the bedroom, hands still firmly tucked inside her shirt, rising inch by inch. Her warm palms found the younger woman's breasts as they collided with the edge of Alex's bed and tumbled backwards.

Alex landed on top of Piper heavily, their bodies a tangle of misplaced limbs.  
Piper began to laugh - the impact of the fall and the inappropriacy of their combined clumsiness enough to elicit a nervous giggle - but her breath caught in her throat.  
Alex had lifted her shirt up, and the brunette's tongue was now exploring the tight peaks of her nipples, tracing taut coils that spread through every muscle of the blonde's already tense form.

Alex heard Piper whimper beneath her, and ran firm hands down the younger woman's lithe frame until her thumbs found angular hips, jutting upwards through the thin flesh.  
Piper pressed up towards her waiting grasp seeking greater contact, but Alex pinned her against the mattress, leaving Piper immobile against her ministrations.  
Moving upwards, _ever so slightly_ , she placed her mouth against the shore-shallow hollows of Piper's collarbone, teeth sinking into the soft skin.

Piper began to writhe against the older woman above her, all the more aroused by her lack of freedom. She could end the moment with a single word if she so desired, but knew that she'd curse herself later if she did so. After all, she had lost many long hours pondering this very activity.

Alex had now taken complete control, and Piper couldn't tell whether it would be the burning heat emanating from Alex's demanding hands that would push her over the edge, or the hickey forming along her clavicle. All she could be certain of what was that she was unraveling, coming apart at the very seams of her being.

A loud moan slipped from between her lips, and she might have spared a second to be embarrassed if Alex hadn't taken that as her cue to move a gentle hand from its place against Piper's pelvis, down to the slick fabric of her underwear.

The brunette paused, leaning back, conscious of the need to check for consent, her index resting gently against the waistband of Piper's garment.  
"Can I..?"  
Piper didn't even take a second to reply. Locking eyes with Alex, she found the brunette's slender wrist and encircled it with her own fingers, slipping it inside the underwear and inching their hands lower, the heat from her body rising up to meet them.

Alex took a sharp intake of breath as she grazed Piper's clit, causing the blonde to emit the softest moan so far. " _Shit_ , Piper."

Piper smiled, a glint of mischief in her eyes as she urged Alex's waiting hand further down, stopping against her own heated entrance.  
"I want you to fuck me, Alex."

The words washed over Alex like a wave, and she wondered idly whether it might be possible to drown in desire.  
She pushed herself into Piper as slowly as she could manage, in spite of the growing anticipation which almost overcame her.  
The blonde was unfathomably wet, and Alex blushed, knowing that she had been the one to bring about this response.

Piper felt lightheaded as Alex slipped inside her, thumb tracing gently across her clit with each thrust.  
She trailed her nails down Alex's arms, rewarded with a gasp from Alex, who began to fuck her harder, pushing deeper.  
Working her way from Piper's neck to her navel, Alex peppered Piper's body with kisses, labouring over the softer spots with the smallest of love bites.

It wasn't long before the brunette's mouth was level with her hands, her breath ghosting over Piper's wetness. The ruined underwear was now the only barrier between Alex and what she wanted, what she sought, so longingly.

" _Alex_ …"  
Alex became aware of her name being called and slowed her rhythm almost to a halt, circling Piper's g-spot at a maddening pace.  
"Yeah kid?"

A hazy smile spread across Piper's face. _Kid_. She liked that.  
"Will you..?" Her bravery was slipping, and she willed herself to continue.  
Alex waited patiently, crouched between Piper's legs, trailing lazy kisses along each thigh. "Will I what?"  
Piper reached down and ran a hand through Alex's hair, voice lowered to a whisper. "Use your mouth."  
Alex smirked. "Say it again."  
The blonde's face flushed, teeth sinking into her bottom lip in concentration.  
Alex pushed her fingers a fraction deeper, and Piper mumbled a surprised oh, the phoneme laden with lust, dragged from her open mouth like a revelation.

Easing her way up Piper's body, Alex reached out with her free hand and stroked Piper's face, a mischievous smile cushioning the command.  
"Say it _again_."

Alex's cocky smile was charming, but Piper wasn't one to be disarmed by good looks and a commanding tone. Raising herself up onto her elbows, she held Alex's gaze, implacable.  
"Use your mouth, Alex."  
Alex buried her fingers in up to the knuckle, using her body to hold Piper still as the blonde pushed on, determined in spite of the electric-buzz wiring its way through her body. " _Now please_."

Although she was the one on top, Alex found that Piper's powers of (surprisingly polite) persuasion evidently extended beyond the pedagogical. Piper's sudden assertion had caught her unawares, and she found that she was reluctant to refuse the imperative, even if she had wanted to.  
Withdrawing her hand, she tugged the blonde's underwear down to her ankles. Casting them aside carelessly, she followed Piper's wishes.

Alex's hair cascaded around her face, landing in a soft whisper against the blonde's thighs as she ran her slick tongue from opening to tip, before returning to Piper's heated entrance to press her tongue inside.  
She splayed her fingers across the younger woman's hips to hold her in place, the taut muscles of Piper's stomach wrestling against the restriction, flexing against her open palm.

Piper felt Alex slide into her once more, hot mouth coaxing curse words from the reservoirs of her mind that somehow still functioned in the face of this exquisite torment.  
She desperately wanted to come for Alex, to invoke the brunette's names in ways she'd never known before this night, and as Alex returned to her clit, Piper knew she wouldn't have long to wait.

Piper's back arched, Alex's teeth found her clit, pleasure blossoming in a white-hot heat from the apex of her thighs.  
She felt as though she was falling from a great height, hurtling towards the earth but never quite hitting the ground.

It was terrifying and tantalising, a tidal wave in a tundra, and Piper never wanted it to end.  
Every fibre in her body seemed to hum with pleasure, and she wondered if Alex felt the same.

As if in answer, the brunette moaned from her position between Piper's legs, each vocalisation sending vibrations through Piper's most sensitive areas.  
Alex increased her pace and felt Piper shift around her, restless on the bed as she neared breaking point.

Hands twisted themselves through her hair, pulling her closer, the taste of Piper's sweetness something she hoped to never forget.  
To have this woman beneath her, so beautiful in the throes of passion, was breathtaking.

She'd been watching Piper from a distance all night, drawn to her self-conscious grace. The way she moved, the words she chose, the curvature of the hair she tucked behind her ear, it was all so carefully curated. And yet, here was Alex, tearing down the facade with Piper's permission.

She felt Piper begin to tense and tighten around her, and tasted the ocean of the blonde's desire on her tongue.  
Words found their way into her ears, drifting from Piper's perfect mouth. "Alex, please don't stop."

Piper hated to lose control, but she had already given so much to Alex, a relative stranger against the usual family-approved country club boys.  
This seemed like so much more than a one night stand in her mind, if only for the fact she she had no choice but to see Alex again at work next week. (Piper optimistically pushed aside the idea that that might be an issue.)

Despite everything, all Piper could think of was how _fucking good_ Alex's mouth felt, and how willing she was to allow Alex to finish what she had started.  
The brunette had stoked flames from embers, and Piper forced herself to be carried along by the fire.

She focused on the finesse of Alex's deft fingers, the sharp edge of her teeth met by the insurmountable softness of her tongue, the way her free hand was planted firmly in the centre of Piper's chest, preventing her from moving even the slightest inch should she compromise impending the orgasm.

" _Alex, fuck, please_ …"

Piper was begging as she tumbled over the edge, fists balled into the white sheets of Alex's bed.  
She released a rapid series of inarticulate syllables, back arching against the soft press of Alex's palm on her body, the muscles in her legs tight and tense against Alex's sides.  
She felt as though somebody had finally taken the safety off, as though she could breath for the first time in months, maybe even years.

As moment passed, every inch of her body seemed to have a pulse of its own.  
It wasn't until the gentle press of Alex's lips against her cheek reminded her where she was, that she could even consider that she might still exist at all.  
The brunette was now beside her, heat emanating from them both, although she gave Piper enough space to stretch out her limbs and flex her aching muscles.

Lightheaded, body flooded with feelings of every kind, Piper rolled slowly onto her side, nose brushing against Alex's, who was considerably closer than she had thought.  
Alex gave a soft nuzzle in return, eyes closed. She tossed a lethargic arm across the curve of Piper's waist, the perfect fit between her hip and ribcage.

She leaned in to place a quiet kiss on Piper's forehead, wondering what to do now.  
She didn't want the woman to leave, although she wasn't sure what to do when the sun rose.  
Would she want to do this again? _Without question_.  
Did Piper feel the same? _Alex had no fucking idea_.

Shrugging off the consequences until they had slept, Alex wrapped the duvet around them. She would deal with the difficult decisions in the morning.  
Placing her glasses on the bedside table, she felt Piper's cold feet press against hers, and smiled.

"Alex?"  
Alex had been drifting towards dreams, but opened her eyes reluctantly, only to find Piper inches away from her.  
"Yeah?" Her voice was thick with sleep, but she had time for Piper. So much time.  
"Thank you."  
"For what?"  
Piper's voice was very quiet, but in the stillness of the room it was akin to a whisper in a library. "That was incredible."  
Alex tried to suppress her pride as she responded. "Nah, it was nothing."  
 _Bullshit. During their time together, Piper had been everything._

Piper laughed, the breeze of the exhalation feather-light against Alex's face. "If that was nothing, I'd love to see what _something_ is like."  
The blonde's eyes glittered in the darkness, blossoming with a bright curiosity.  
Alex grinned "I'm sure I can help you out with that."  
"Tomorrow?" Piper's tone was eager, and even in the dimly lit room, Alex could sense a sense a smile.  
"Sure thing, kid."

It looked like Alex wouldn't have to make any difficult decisions after all.


	9. The Sleeper and The Spindle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read and re-read this dozens of times. I wanted it to be right, and I think it's close to what I hoped for. Lots of people asked for more Nicky and Morello (including the one person who managed to track me down on Tumblr - kudos), so while it's lacking in Vauseman, it's still an important part of the plot.

 

Nicky awoke, bleary-eyed and a little befuddled.  
She could remember poker and partial nudity, and a resurgence of that same overwhelming kick for a swift fix, which she brushed hastily away.  
 _It would return, with a vengeance. It always did. But if she could stave it off for even an hour, she could call it a victory.  
_ Seeking distraction, she rolled onto her side, ready to wrap her arms around the woman she'd been so lucky to win over the night before.

Lorna was already awake, hands clasped together on top of the blanket. She was staring blankly at the ceiling.  
"Hey. You been awake long?"  
Lorna blinked several times before replying, gaze still averted. "Oh, no. Not really. Slept like a log, you know, after last night…"

What little Nicky recalled was positive. She remembered Morello's moans, her red lipstick in the moonlight, bright against paper-white skin, the way she rolled her hips as she came. They were details that Nicky would pour over in the long nights to follow, inking them into the black book she kept by her bed, should she forget a single second.

"Guess I must've fucked you to exhaustion, right?" Nicky laughed, a little uneasily. Something seemed _off_.  
When Lorna didn't respond, Nicky reached towards her. Their hands were inches apart when Morello moved away, pushing back the blankets and sitting up.  
"Well," She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, her back to Nicky as she spoke again. "I guess I'll be going."

Nicky balled her fists and began to panic quietly, chest tightening in both fear and frustration. This hadn't just been a fuck - she actually _liked_ Morello. Maybe she hadn't made it clear.  
She would fix that now.

Nicky rolled out of her own side of the bed and padded around to where the diminutive brunette sat, arms wrapped around herself as though trying to console whatever concerns she might have.  
"What's the problem?" Nicky crouched on the floor, palms on the bare knees of the woman before her.  
"I think," Morello's eyes had filled with tears, and she held her bottom lip between her teeth to stop it from trembling. "I think I might've made a mistake." She stared at the wall above Nicky's head, eyes almost boring holes into the plaster.

Nicky did her best not the jump to conclusions, but hungover and craving, she wasn't at her best.  
"Woah, I thought we'd had a good time here. What mistake?"  
Lorna sniffed loudly, rising from the bed and stepping around Nicky to reach her discarded clothes.

Nicky followed, but Morello visibly withdrew under her gaze.  
"I'm _naked_!" She hissed, scandalised, clutching her clothes to her chest. "Will you turn around at least?"  
Last night's eyeliner had begun to track tear stains down her cheeks, and it took all of Nicky's self-restraint to not reach out and brush the blackness away.

Instead, bemused, Nicky shrugged, facing away from the woman she so desperately wanted to hold. "Sure thing. But you know I saw all of this a few hours ago, right?" She laughed awkwardly.

Nicky barricaded herself into safety with bravado, but she was already blaming herself for her error. She'd had an inkling that Morello's inebriated state had masked insecurity, but the woman had feigned innocence when asked.

* * *

"Is this okay with you?" Nicky had inquired quietly, a minor break between soft kisses peppered across Lorna's neck.  
"Oh yeah." Morello's head was tilted back, flesh exposed to the blonde before her, skin as pale as snow glowing in the low lighting of the room. "This is _more_ than okay."  
She sounded a little breathless, and Nicky took her words as a sign to continue.

Minutes passed before the fear rose again, this time like a thick bile in her throat, that perhaps she was forcing something untoward on an unwilling participant.  
"You sure you wanna keep going?" Nicky mumbled into Morello's body, mouth hot against the warmth of the woman beneath her. "We can just snuggle, I'm good for tonight."

The brunette's breath hitched, her hands finding Nicky's head and firmly pressing down, leaving Nicky no choice but to descend lower, finding a slick heat between Lorna's thighs.

 _Actions speak louder than words_ , Nicky mused.

* * *

"Was it me?" When she spoke, Nicky's voice was more plaintive than she would've liked, but she supposed it couldn't be helped.  
She felt _crushed_. She'd liked this girl since she'd laid eyes on her, a single day before the summer had set in. Morello's interview for the new driver's ed position had been a success, and they had visited a bar to celebrate the appointment of their new staff member.  
They'd texted often over the break, and even met up for coffee a few times.  
Last night had been the culmination of three months of thinking, wishes that went way back.

Nicky couldn't claim to be a romantic - _nor would she want to_ \- but she had put thought into the evening.

She'd asked Morello which was her favourite wine and bought it accordingly, although she'd had difficulty finding "the five dollar special" in all the usual shops she visited.  
She'd even thought about what Morello might like for breakfast - poached eggs, not that she knew how to make them.

"Did I do something wrong? 'Cos you can tell me. I can take a hit."  
There was a hesitation before Morello said anything in reply. "No." Another pause. "Well, yes, and no. It wasn't _all_ you."

_Fuck._

Nicky ran a hand through her hair, turning to face Morello and hoping fervently that she was clothed by now.  
"Did I hurt you?"  
Lorna's sadness slipped for a moment as she smiled. Nicky saw it as sunshine breaking through cloud, but just as quickly, it was gone. "No, no, you were very gentle."  
Her voice was so reassuring, it could have been cloying, condescending. Even though it was good news, it somehow made everything so much worse.

Nicky's fear of rejection was beginning to spike, and she felt bitterness creeping in around the edges of her aching heart.

It hurt to be rejected. She had forgotten what it felt like, not normally running the risk unless she was certain that a girl would be into her.  
She was almost guaranteed to be successful in darkened bars with drunken darlings, but this… This had been different.

"Then, what?" Nicky spread her arms, welcoming anything from a feeble excuse to Lorna herself, but received neither.  
"I'll get outta your hair." Morello said, unprompted.  
Her forced friendliness was almost more offensive than her lack of answers, and Nicky found herself pursuing the woman down the stairs, wrestling herself into an oversized hooded sweatshirt as she did so.

"Can I see you again?"  
She didn't want to sound desperate, but since she'd befriended the brunette, she couldn't help but feel that there was some kind of connection.  
"You'll see me at school."  
 _It wasn't enough._  
"No, I mean outside of school. Socially, or, whatever. Like we did before."  
The younger woman waited by the front door expectantly, and Nicky duly unlocked it for her, sliding the latch out and twisting the key against its tumblers.

True feelings for somebody were usually such a fleeting occurrence for Nicky to want that she was reluctant to let this opportunity pass her by, but she couldn't exactly refuse to let her go.  
Begrudgingly, she turned the handle and opened the exit, sunlight streaming in from outside.

"I'll call you." Lorna reassured, gathering her coat and bag from by the door. Smiling, she hastened out onto the drive, gravel crunching underfoot.  
"Morello!" Nicky hollered after her, aware that she'd rouse whoever was still in the house, but past the point of caring.

When Morello didn't look back, Nicky finally admitted defeat. Her toes were cold against the metal of the doorframe, and the wind pushed past her, into a house that now felt lonelier than ever before.

She closed the gap slowly, the Yale lock clicking into place behind her as she pressed her back against the door.  
" _Fuck_." She hissed into the empty atrium.

She found her phone on the table where she'd left it the night before, and thumbed idly through her contacts until she came across the name she sought: _Fahri_.  
He was in town, she knew. Alex could do her best to keep information like that away from Nicky's ex-junkie ears, but the jocular blonde always seemed to hear about it eventually.

She could call him, then call a cab, and make at least a dozen other bad calls (in a less literal sense) before Alex even knew where she was.  
She could forget about all of this _shit_ for a few hours, lose the hangover and come back feeling so much fucking better.

The drugs would never push her away.  
The drugs wouldn't have left without explanation.  
It all seemed perversely logical.

Returning to her room, Nicky fumbled through her floordrobe for a pair of jeans, tugging on the cleanest pair to hand.  
She wouldn't hesitate any longer. She knew exactly where to go.

* * *

Alex awoke to a hammering on her bedroom door, hand automatically scrabbling for her glasses on the nightstand as she sat up.  
"What's going on?" Piper's sleepy mumble emerged from the pillow beside her, where the blonde lay face down.  
"I'll find out." Alex pressed a kiss to the nape of her neck, brushing soft hair aside to do so.  
She could forget about everything outside of this room, if only for the incessant banging.

"Vause, open up!"  
Nicky's anxious tone forced her to her feet, and she opened the door in her underwear.  
Her housemate stood in the corridor, mouth open as if to speak, but hesitated to appreciate Alex before continuing.  
"What's up?"  
Nicky raised an eyebrow. "Apparently not you. Chapman in there?"  
Alex stepped forward, blocking the narrow opening of the doorway with her body. "What do you need, Nick?"  
Nicky cleared her throat a little apprehensively. "You wanna get some breakfast?"  
The brunette couldn't help but laugh. "You want _breakfast_?"  
Nicky shrugged.  
"Normally you just lie on the couch, hungover, and talk about how you want to die. It's only..." Alex glanced at the clock on her bedroom wall. "11:30."  
Nicky checked her wrist for a watch that wasn't there. "I mean, time's only a concept created by man to exert some sort of control over the perplexities of the natural world, but I'm fuckin' hungry."

Alex watched her housemate, taking in the signs of discomfort she exhibited.  
She could see the blonde shift her weight from foot to foot, an endless cycle of stillness followed by nervous tics and fidgets.  
Nicky evidently wasn't ready to talk about whatever was on her mind, but if she'd come to Alex, then Alex wanted to help.  
"Let me ask Piper. Wait here."  
A mischievous grin spread across Nicky's face like the sun rising. "Sure thing."

The sound of Nicky's toe tapping expectantly against the dusty floorboards followed Alex as she turned away, squeezing through the thin sliver of open door she had allowed herself to protect Piper's modesty, before closing it firmly behind her.

"Nicky wants to know if we want breakfast."  
Alex clambered onto the end of the bed, climbing slowly up Piper's body until she could place a kiss against her shoulder, bare above the blankets.  
"My head hurts." The blonde mumbled into the pillow, her words barely coherent,  
"Fried food could fix that." Alex whispered into her ear, lips pressed against the curve of skin. "Or, _I_ could fix it…"

Alex slid her arm beneath the sheets, cupping Piper's ass. Piper rolled onto her side and pushed against Alex, her back now flat to the brunette's chest with only the blankets between them.

Alex slipped her hand lower, a murmured command indicating her intentions.  
"Spread your legs."  
Piper laughed quietly. "Say _please."  
_ Alex smirked. Piper had a spark that wasn't willing to be diminished by Alex's charm or experience.  
She provided a challenge, as though Alex hadn't already been tempted enough.  
" _Please_."

Alex was only too happy to oblige.


	10. The Remains of the Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a great deal actually happens in this chapter, so I've made it slightly longer to compensate.  
> Thanks again for reading these stories, guys. When you write nice words about them for self-critical authors like me, it helps.

 

"Spread your legs."  
Piper laughed quietly. "Say please."  
Alex smirked. Piper had a spark that wasn't willing to be diminished by Alex's charm or experience.  
She provided a challenge, as though Alex hadn't already been tempted enough.  
" _Please_."

The blonde did as she had been asked to, gasping as Alex's fingers found her clit, grazing ever so softly over the sensitive area.  
It had been a long time since Piper had been woken with sex, and even the thought of Alex continuing last night's activities was enough to elicit a shiver of anticipation.  
"You ready for round two?" Alex whispered, her teeth nipping playfully at Piper's ear.  
Piper moaned softly in response, nodding slowly as she reached behind her and ran a hand through Alex's hair.

 _This could have ended so differently,_ Alex mused. Piper could've woken, heart heavy with regret, and they would've had to share a department for the rest of the year, unable to look one another in the eye. But instead, rather than an ending, they had a perhaps had forged new beginning.  
Only time would tell.

The air was filled with the soft sounds of Piper's early-morning moans for several seconds before Nicky evidently reached the end of her tether, feet heavy on the hallway floorboards, fist against the door once more.  
"I know you guys have already eaten, but can you hurry the fuck up? I'm dying of starvation out here."

Piper laughed, embarrassed. She turned to Alex, a blush spreading across her face.  
"We should _probably_ get up."  
Alex sighed. "We're coming Nicky, 'kay?" She muttered, casting a resentful stare in the direction of the door.  
A guffaw came from the other side of the wooden exit. "What, at the same time?"  
There was a beat before Piper understood Nicky's double entendre, and took it as her prompt to get out of bed.

She had retained her shirt and bra, and managed to locate her underwear tucked slightly under the edge of the bed.  
It was at that moment, half-dressed and hungover, that she remembered her jeans.

"Alex?"  
Alex turned, holding some black underwear aloft. "You want to borrow some?"  
Piper could feel the heat radiating from her face again. First sharing a bed, and now sharing underwear. It was a generous offer though, and although not entirely practical, one that she was glad to accept.  
"That would be helpful, but..." She glanced around the room. "Have you seen my jeans?"  
Alex tossed the underwear at her and Piper caught it deftly with one hand.  
"You don't remember where you left them?"  
The brunette's smirk was a dangerous vice, and Piper wanted to see it as much as she wanted to be the cause of it.  
"No." Piper's amnesiac admission was shameful, but swiftly ameliorated as Alex crossed the room to her, cradling her waist with strong arms.  
"I could help you remember…"

Alex left a cold trail of warm kisses up Piper's neck, air cooling the moisture from the older woman's lips on Piper's heated skin.  
The blonde tilted her head back, savouring the moment, enjoying the simple pleasure of Alex's fingers tracing across her back as they held one another close.

Alex kissed her way up Piper's neck until she was level with her ear, whispering a gently teasing inquiry as she did: "Have you checked the couch?"

Piper pulled back, perplexed. _There was no couch in Alex's room. The only couch she had seen was…_  
"Shit."  
Alex laughed. "You want me to get them?"  
Piper drew herself up to her full height, back straight. "No, I can do it. I _should_ do it. They're my jeans."

* * *

Donning Alex's underwear and abandoning her own at the foot of the bed, Piper opened the door, only to be greeted by Nicky, who was lounging on the bed in the room opposite. She sat up as Piper passed, casting aside the book she'd been holding with a mischievous glee.  
"Chapman." She nodded, doing her best to appear serious despite evident signs to the contrary.  
"Good morning." Piper pulled off _bright_ as best she could, but there was a headache hammering somewhere in the back of her skull, and she felt unsteady once out of the safety of Alex's room.

"Will you be joining us for brunch?"  
"Uh..." The younger woman faltered. Alex hadn't so much asked her as told her it was happening, which seemed akin to an invite, but Piper didn't want to assume. "Yes?"  
"You sound uncertain, but I'm going to put that down to your presumably painful hangover."  
Piper hung her head. "I got really drunk, didn't I?"  
"Define _really_." There was a pause. When Piper didn't respond, Nicky stepped in for her, continuing in spite of the conversational caesura. "You did, but as long as you're not adverse to fried food and friendship, nothing's irreparable. Apart from the US economy. And corruption in the police force."  
Piper nodded, taking small steps in the direction of her destination. "I'll see you downstairs."  
Nicky grinned. "I'll get Stretch."

* * *

Nicky barrelled into Alex's room without knocking, arms folding as she stopped only to lean against the antique wardrobe her housemate had.  
"So?"  
Alex turned, a Cheshire cat grin on her face. "I'd say the same to you, but I think your answer's going to be less enjoyable."

Nicky faltered, bravado slipping, and Alex mirrored her body language, waiting for the confession.  
"I, uh…" The blonde glanced away for a moment, as though gathering her thoughts, dropping her gaze to the floor.  
She couldn't look Alex in the eye as she said the words, it would be too much. It was bad enough that she had to say it aloud anyway.  
"I almost called Fahri this morning." She shrugged nonchalantly. "No big deal."

Alex felt as though she'd just missed a step in the dark.  
Nicky had been clean for years now, and it was sometimes still a hard-won battle on the best of days. If she was willing to cash in her hard-won sobriety for a quick fix, something was clearly amiss.

"What happened?"  
"I had a great fuckin' night, that's what happened." Nicky muttered, bitterly. "Until I fucked it all up this morning." She gave a hoarse laugh.  
Alex made a show of busying herself with her armoire, opening and closing draws at random, rummaging in each as though seeking the answer to Nicky's solace.  
"So," she paused, wondering how to word the query. "What went wrong?"

Nicky threw herself down onto Alex's empty bed, the sunlight filtering in through the curtains throwing a beam across her body.  
"Jeez, I don't even fuckin' know."  
"Was she not into it?"  
"What? The sex?"  
"The sex, you, alcohol-induced homosexuality..?"  
Nicky scowled against the sunshine obscuring in her vision. " _Ha ha._ "

She considered the feeling of her lungs expanding against her ribcage, the stretch of skin across her chest with each inhalation, the firm resistance of the bed beneath her body.  
All of this awareness would be obliterated with a quick hit _; there's a reason people call it a "fix"_.  
But she'd already avoided that bullet once today. Now that Alex was aware of how she felt, it wouldn't happen again.

Nicky sat up, shrugging. "I'm fuckin' done, a'right?"  
The blonde had a low tolerance for wallowing in self-pity, and she felt she'd already exceeded her limit. She'd no interest in shuffling her misery off onto Alex, and her housemate had tolerated enough of her shit for a lifetime already.  
Nicky was a grin and bear it kind of person, so a rictus-grin she duly adopted.  
Alex nodded, offering no resistance. "Fine. But you're paying for breakfast."  
Nicky gave her a genuine smile. "This whole thing with Morello was just a…" She gestured vaguely with her hands. "A setback."  
"And prison is just a room." Alex countered, raising an eyebrow.  
"Fuck you." Nicky dug an elbow into the brunette's ribs as she passed her, heading for the exit, still smirking. "I'll go find Taylor Swift."

* * *

Within an hour they had found a diner on the edge of the city: a quiet little roadside place with booths only just big enough for four. The place was quiet, the Saturday morning throng long-gone, and midday diners only just beginning to rise.

Nicky stretched her legs out across the empty space beside her, and ordered a black coffee. Alex went for bacon and pancakes, but Piper remained indecisive, even as their orders arrived.  
Her stomach was in turmoil, having drunk so much the night before that she was sure she could still feel it pulsing around her.

The drive to the diner had been a risk in itself, although she had enjoyed listening to Nicky and Alex bicker over the songs they listened to.  
Nicky had lain prone on the back seat, sunglasses on and an arm thrown across her face, leaving Piper and Alex to sit beside one another in the front.

Each track Alex played - and Nicky disputed - seemed to have a story associated with it, an adventure or a journey, and Piper had been overjoyed to hear them all, in spite of not recognising a single song.

Nicky was evidently unsettled, and Piper had noted Lorna's absence in the house as she'd sought out her jeans earlier that morning, but she was too polite to pry.  
Instead, she remained quiet, letting this odd opening to her weekend wash over her.  
She thumbed the menu absently, rubbing the old sauce stains and perfect circles of spilled drinks into the creased laminate. She was fumbling over the fuzzy details of the night before, idly exploring the notion that she had slept with a woman - a beautiful, intelligent woman, at that.  
Piper toyed with the edges of the idea carefully, delicately, as though afraid of causing chaos if she came to terms with the concept face to face.  
She felt as though she had achieved something, pride framing the periphery of her thoughts.

"Earth to Piper."  
The blonde blinked, once, twice, and glanced away from the printed paper she held, only to find Nicky and Alex staring at her.  
The former had a self-gratifying smile on her face, draining her coffee cup in a single, swift motion before setting it back down on the chipped Formica table.

"You decided what you're going to order yet?" Alex asked quietly around a mouthful of pancake, giving Piper a soft dig in the ribs with her elbow as she spoke.  
Piper cocked her head at the menu once more before answering. "I actually don't think I'll order anything. I'm not sure I'm ready to eat yet."

Alex considered this comment before carving out a small piece of pancake with her knife. She speared the offending article with her fork, and raised it level with Piper's face. "Want a bite?"  
Piper shook her head, smiling. "I'm not hungry, Alex."  
"Are you sure? It's good." Alex nudged the food a little closer to Piper's lips.  
The blonde responded by raising her hand to Alex's, encircling the brunette's fork-holding fist with her own long fingers, taking the morsel of brunch with her teeth and drawing it into her mouth.  
She chewed thoughtfully for a moment before swallowing, cleaning syrup from her lips with care.  
Piper then reached across to where Alex's coffee mug sat, cracked ceramic carrying the cooled caffeine, as of yet untouched.  
Raising an eyebrow at Alex - although the expression had not been perfected as Alex's had, well-rehearsed after years of cynical smirks - she consumed the contents in what seemed to be a single mouthful, placing the empty cup back down on the tabletop with a hollow thud.  
"It _is_ good, you're right." Piper grinned, mischief evident in her eyes.

Alex was enraptured.  
She'd only intended to tease her colleague, but instead she was drawn in by the blonde's lips, her laugh, the way the crinkles around her eyes only showed when she smiled at Alex.  
Now, she was coffee-less and captivated.  
So certain had she been that she'd know exactly the type of woman that Piper Chapman could - and _would_ \- prove to be, she'd missed the point completely. Piper wasn't some debutante with Daddy issues, nor was she the vain valedictorian. Piper was something completely different, something _other_ , and Alex was intrigued.

"More coffee?" Piper was starting to feel a little guilty for drinking Alex's drink. She'd give her the money for it. Or buy her another. Perhaps both?  
She shouldn't have taken it in the first place, and she knew that, but so much temptation lay in the vast ocean of possibilities between them, and a little flirting wouldn't hurt.  
She still couldn't shake the cloud of her mother's ever-present admonishments hanging overhead, rebuking her for this minor rebellion of social conduct, but she could try.

Piper rose from her seat, empty coffee pot in hand, and sought out the nearest server behind the serving hatch. Alex watched her walk away, unaware that her conspicuous stare was monitored by her roommate.  
"Man, you are _so fucked_."  
Alex's head whipped around at that, finding Nicky's all-knowing grin glowing in the midday sun. "What?"  
"She is one cheerio in the bulk-box of life. Could you not have picked someone a little less..." She gestured vaguely, hands tracing the air for the word she was missing. "Work related?" She finished, lamely.

The sound of squeaking door hinges nearby caused them to pause for a moment, the sight of Piper wandering into the restroom enough to allow Alex to raise her voice a little.  
"Nicky Nichols, are you _judging_ me?" Alex brought about a pose of mock-horror, her tone conveying a playful dismay.  
"Look, how about we both just say a little prayer that she doesn't suddenly decide that this was all a horrible mistake?" Nicky crossed her arms, her sad smile a sentiment that Alex couldn't ignore.  
"Lorna works at the school too. It's practically the same situation." Alex shrugged and picked up her fork nonchalantly, pushing the remains of her syrup-soaked pancake around the plate as she awaited Nicky's comeback, tiptoeing around the subject that still felt too sore to tease.  
She knew that Nicky had really liked Morello, but by the same remit, she also knew that Piper wasn't the same sort of woman.  
As cliched as she knew she sounded within the depths of her own mind, she genuinely felt that she and Piper had a connection.

Nicky unfolded the sad knot of her limbs and placed her palms flat on the table with more force than intended, making the worn metalwork of the knives and forks jump in fright.  
"No, it's not _practically the same_. You have to see this girl every goddamn day. You share a fucking department."  
Alex dropped her own fork with a clatter, voice lowering suddenly. "It was _one night_."  
Nicky laughed incredulously. "Are you telling me you're not going to ask her to stay again tonight? That you'll turn her away the moment the clock strikes midnight?"  
Alex opened her mouth to bite back, but Nicky shook her head. "I know you Vause. I've seen that look in your eyes before. You like her. You're fuckin' hooked."

Alex leaned back against the firm cushion of the seat behind her, turning her head away to stare out of the window, locking tired eyes with the source of bright daylight outside until the hot white sphere became thick and dark.  
 _What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.  
_ This was probably a terrible mistake. Potentially a fire-able offence, particularly if it came to she or Piper on Fig's chopping block; years of service and good results meant nothing in the face of a WASP-y debutante deal.

With a long, slow exhalation, Alex faced Nicky once more. She pushed her glasses up into her hair, knuckling sore eyes with long pale fingers, Nicky's quiet voice bringing her back to the here and now.  
"I just don't wanna see you get hurt."  
Alex nodded. "I know." A pause, the hum of the diner filling the gap in their dialogue - cutlery against crockery, the sizzle of a saucepan, muttered remarks about undercooked eggs and orders being placed. "I _really_ like her."

She returned her glasses to their rightful place, making eye contact with Nicky for the first time in several minutes.  
"Just be fuckin' careful." The blonde released a sigh. "I thought I was the Icarus here."  
"What?" Alex asked, bemused.  
"His wings melted before he could fuck the sun." Nicky replied, as though this was obvious.  
"Remind me to tell you how that story _actually_ goes, at some point." Alex slid out of the booth and stood, feet pointed firmly in the direction of the bathroom Piper had entered some time before.

"What, you guys been apart for too long so now you're gonna watch her pee?" Nicky teased.  
"You're hilarious, Nick." Alex muttered, walking away.

* * *

The tiles beneath Piper's knees were cracked, and she wondered how many other women had knelt here too. Cradling her head in her hands, she stared at the contents of the toilet bowl through bleary eyes.

She'd made it to the bathroom, and even managed to pull her hair back, before the bile had gotten the better of her.  
The shaking and the sweating had followed, and within thirty seconds she'd emptied everything she'd eaten from the day before into the waiting porcelain vessel.

The bathroom's squeaky door hinges gave away the entrance of another customer, and she flushed the toilet shamefully, wondering if she'd remembered to shut the cubicle door behind her before being ill.  
A warm hand on her shoulder told her _no_.

"Pipes?" It was Alex.  
Piper managed a melancholic groan in reply, forehead against bicep as she felt Alex kneel beside her on the hard floor. "I feel like shit."  
"Yeah, you don't look great either." Alex chuckled, brushing a stray lock of hair from Piper's damp face, tears and perspiration making her tresses lank and unkempt.  
"Want to get out of here?"  
Piper nodded mutely into her arm.

Alex placed her hands gently on Piper's waist, aiding the woman in rising to her feet. "Are you going to be sick again?"  
"I don't think so." The blonde's voice was quiet and tremulous, and Alex wanted nothing more than to take her somewhere safe and stay with her until she was better.  
 _In hindsight,_ she mused as they reached the door, _Nicky was right: I am fucked._


	11. A Scandal in Bohemia

Nicky was on her feet the second she saw them, Alex's car keys firmly in her grasp as she guided them towards the door, pressing $20 down onto the table as they left.

Piper was still unsteady despite Alex's support, and it was with great care that they eased her into the back seat, fastening the seatbelt across her lap before helping her lie down.  
Nicky assumed the passenger's side, ejecting the CD from the stereo as soon as Alex turned the ignition, leaving Piper to sleep to the sounds of traffic on the highway and the breeze filtering in through the window they'd left open for her.

The ride back to the house was uneventful, and somnolent though Piper was, getting her through the front door and up into the stairs was less difficult than the brunette had initially assumed it would be.  
Piper filled the silence with mumbled _I'm sorry_ s - for ruining brunch, for being sick, for drinking too much - with every step they took, and there was little Alex could say that would prevent her from continuing.

Piper, for her part, was mortified. She couldn't help but hang her head, the world swimming around her as she felt sick with both shame and the heaviest hangover she'd ever had to endure. It hung around her like a thick fog, and no amount of apologies could possibly compensate for the inconvenience she'd probably caused Alex and Nicky.

Stumbling up each wooden step to the first floor, Piper's mind reached for tenuous links in an attempt to make sense of her surroundings.  
She could remember her first sleepover as a child, consuming too much sugar and being sent home to her parents' house in disgrace. Her mother had made her promise to never be such an embarrassment again - _our friends from the country club will not forget this quickly_ \- and it was several years later when she was finally invited over to another friend's house to stay.  
 _If only I'd learnt my lesson_ , Piper mused. _Unlikely that I'll be invited back, after this._

"You sure you don't feel sick anymore?" Alex tone was earnest, concerned, steering Piper through the doorway to her bedroom..  
"I think I'm okay." Piper responded, in a voice that made her sound better than she felt. "I'm just exhausted, you know?"  
Alex gave a low chuckle, almost approvingly. "I wonder why."  
Piper's tired expression gave way to a bright smile, which flickered and faltered at first, but settled at the sight of Alex's answering grin.

The brunette pressed a soft kiss to the blonde's forehead as Piper slowly disrobed, and they both lay down on the bed.  
"You should sleep."  
"I can go home and sleep there. I _should_ go home. I've already inconvenienced you enough." The younger woman's eyes began to close against her will, her words a distorted reflection of her body's needs.  
"Fuck that." Alex's reply was quiet, and Piper felt the mattress dip and shift as the other woman moved closer to her, their arms brushing. "You're welcome to stay until you feel better."

Piper rolled onto her side, her chest now flush with Alex's, the measured rise and fall of their ribcages moving almost synchronously, ticking clocks keeping time with one another.  
"And what if I never feel better?" Piper whispered, almost inaudibly. It was a fairytale question, the kind of shit she'd dismiss in a rom-com, but it seemed apt and silly here, the ramblings of a self-made invalid seeking reasons to stay with a beautiful woman.  
"If you never feel better," Alex ventured, smirk evident in her voice. "Then you'll just have to stay here forever."

Being taller than Piper, Alex's breath warmed the top of Piper's face, and her lips brushed Piper's forehead tentatively.  
"Will you wait here until I've fallen asleep?" The blonde's enquiry was coy, but she didn't want to lose this connection. Alex made her feel calmer, steadier, less likely to be reduced to the same shaking pile of limbs on a different bathroom floor.  
"Sure thing, kid."  
Alex cast her arm across Piper's body, her hand snaking beneath her shirt to find the curve from hip to rib, settling in to rub smooth circles with her thumb across Piper's soft skin.

Several silent minutes passed.  
Alex's heart thudded in her chest.  
Piper wasn't ill, just hungover, but badly so. Despite the fact that this was a situation entirely of her own making, she couldn't help but want to spend the rest of her day by Piper's side. It was so sweet a scenario, so textbook, that its saccharine simplicity sought to rot her teeth.  
 _Sucker_ , she admonished herself.

Once she was certain that the blonde had dozed off, Alex extracted herself from their entanglement, easing their bodies apart with the greatest of care. She brushed a lock of hair away from Piper's face, and granted herself a moment to marvel at how attractive the woman was.  
Denying herself the Twilight-like creepiness of watching the blonde sleep, she headed for the door, knowing that she'd only return to her previous position if she stayed a moment more.

"Alex?"  
Alex turned from the exit, so close to leaving that a second sooner and she'd have missed the question. "Yeah Pipes?"  
"I'm sorry."  
Alex sighed. "What for now? You're sorry you came over? You're sorry you stayed the night?" She teased gently, hoping that Piper would hear the humour in her tone.  
"I'm _not_ sorry that I stayed the night." The answer was sincere, but sombre around the edges. "I'm sorry because I need one last favour."

Were it not in anticipation of Nicky's mockery (which she knew would be a certainty), she'd wait on Piper's every want until she felt better. In place of that, a favour was the least she could do.  
"Sure. What do you need?"  
Alex found herself at the bottom of the bed once more, and would venture closer if she knew she wouldn't be overwhelmed by the desire to wrap Piper up in her arms for a second time.  
"Can you call my housemate? I left my phone in my jeans."  
"Sure." Alex crossed to the pile of discarded clothes and gathered them up, rifling through the fabric until she found what she was looking for.

Laying her hands on the back plastic casing, she approached the bed once more. "What do you want me to say to her?"  
"Just tell her I'm here, and that... "  
" _That_?"  
"That I'm not very well."  
Alex wanted to laugh - she knew all too well the feeling of hiding a hangover from the people around her. "Something you ate, maybe?"  
Piper nodded grimly into her pillow. "Something I drank, more like. But yeah."  
"I'll cover you."  
The blonde whispered her thanks, calling Alex back one final time as she headed for the exit. "Her name is Polly."  
Alex nodded, verbalising her response as she remembered that Piper had her eyes closed. "Thanks kid."

* * *

Nicky tossed a worn and well-thumbed copy of 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' to the floorboards upon seeing Alex exit the room opposite her own, unfamiliar phone cradled in her grasp.  
"That Chapman's?"  
Alex paused, turning on the spot. She pushed her glasses back up into her hairline as she approached, knuckling tired eyes with the hand that held the mobile. "Yeah."  
"Where're you going with it?"  
"I was going downstairs. She's asked me to call her housemate."  
"What, she want you to pander to _her_ whims, too?"  
Alex laughed, but it was laden with sarcasm. She sat down heavily next to Nicky, and began cycling through Piper's contacts.

"All I'm saying is, be careful."  
Alex glanced from the phone to Nicky, and back again. "About what?" She gestured vaguely with the object in her palm. "I know how to use a phone. It's not going to explode or anything."  
"No, I mean with the roommate. If she's anything like the girls Chapman used to hang with, you might be in for a culture shock."  
"I've handled Fig. I can handle this."  
Nicky gazed longingly off into a fictional distance. "I wish I'd handled Fig."  
"Gross. You hate her."  
"I'm complex enough that I can despise a human being and covet her curves at the same time. Besides, what's a little hate-fucking between friends?"  
Alex held a single finger aloft, silencing Nicky as she pressed the mobile to her ear.  
" _It's ringing_." She mumbled in hushed tones.  
"Phones do that, Vause. I knew you weren't cut out for this."

As the brunette swung her fist at Nicky playfully, a poorly aimed punch that her housemate batted out of the air like a cat with a butterfly, somebody answered the phone.  
" _Piper?_ "  
"Uh, hi. No, this is one of her colleagues."  
"Oh, hey. Is she okay? She hasn't been answering my texts." Polly seemed genuinely concerned for Piper's well-being, so Alex decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.  
"Actually, she's pretty rough."  
"Heavy night? She can _not_ hold her drink." Polly laughed lightly down the line, and Alex immediately resented the idea that Piper's low tolerance for alcohol was funny in any way, particularly as she was now suffering the consequences.  
"No, I think it was something she ate."  
"She tell you to say that?" Piper's housemate had evidently been through this before, and her skepticism hung heavily for a moment.  
Alex glided past the problem swiftly. "She's going to crash here until she feels better. She just wanted to let you know."  
"Wouldn't she be better off at home?"  
"Well, she's fallen asleep here, so it's probably better to just leave her."  
"But if she's at home, I take care of her."  
"We've got it, thanks Holly." Alex's tone was flat, emotionless. She wasn't grateful, and she didn't like this micromanaging housemate of Piper's. _Not that it matters_ , Alex reminded herself. She didn't even know Piper well enough to know her favourite books yet - although the list accounted for that - let alone to be casting aspersions about the company she chose to keep.

" _Polly_." Polly corrected, sounding as enthused as Alex was to still be part of the conversation.  
"Right, Polly Hobby. Got it."  
"And you are?"  
Alex was stopped short by the enquiry. She hadn't even given her own name, so caught up had she been by her frustration with the woman at the other end of the line.  
"Alex."  
"And you work with Piper?"  
"Yeah, in the English department."  
"And I take it you were at last night's party too?"  
Alex guffawed at that, the obtrusive outbreak leaving her mouth inadvertently. "Yeah, it was _my_ party."  
"Oh." Polly faltered. "Is there somebody else in your department?"  
"Like, another staff member?" Alex could hear how short her own fuse was simply from her tone of voice, but Polly was apparently missing every cue to close the conversation. "No, it's just me. And now Piper. Why?"

* * *

" _I had a long day." Piper paused, pondering whether or not to share her tentative encounter with Alex. "But, I met my new colleague in the department."  
_ _Polly's eyes were on her immediately, as though she could sense what was coming. "Is he cute?"  
_ _The blonde chose not to correct her. "Tall, dark..."  
_ " _Handsome?"  
_ " _... Heathcliff."  
_ _Polly laughed. "What, he's a total dick?"  
_ " _Not a dick, just… Enigmatic. Like, mysterious, and kind of judgemental, but weirdly attractive with it."_

* * *

"I think Piper should come home now." Polly asserted, after a short pause.  
"I think Piper's a grown woman, and she's capable of making her own decisions." Alex was done with the dialogue options available to her, and decided it was time to finish what she'd started. "Right now she's asleep. She made her choice to stay when she got into my bed."  
Polly's voice sounded strained when it reached Alex's ears, an undercurrent of distress running through the reply. "She's in _your_ bed?"  
Alex opted to cut the crap. "Yeah, and she was there last night too. I'll take care of her, and I'll drive her home when she's ready."  
"Well, I - "  
"Nice talking to you, Holly."  
"It's Pol-" Alex took the phone away from her ear and pressed the brightly lit red phone icon on the screen.  
 _She hoped for Piper's sake that she'd never have to meet this woman face to face._

"Jesus, what's razzed your berries?"  
"It turns out Piper's housemate is a bitch."Alex turned to her housemate, exasperated.  
"What'd I say before?"  
"Fuck off, Nicky." Alex rose to her feet, but Nicky followed suit, footsteps padding down the stairs after the brunette like a precocious puppy.  
"Wow, she really got on your tits, huh?"  
Alex opened the fridge, fully inserting her head into the cooled compartment in search of absolutely nothing before begrudgingly slamming the door closed. "She was just..."  
"Entitled?"  
Alex shrugged and moved from one side of the kitchen to the other, Nicky shifting around her to pull herself onto the large oak table in the centre of the room.  
"Condescending?"  
The younger woman remained silent, opening cupboards at random and sighing before each closure.  
"Okay, tell me if I'm getting warm." Nicky continued in the face of Alex's silence, watching her housemate intently. "Was she too upper-east-side? Too country-club Republican?"  
Alex finally stopped her pacing, running a pale hand through her dark hair as she paused. "All of the above."  
"Ha! _Called it_." The blonde raised an open palm into the air, awaiting a high-five that would never be reciprocated.

The room fell still for a moment, as each participant considered their next move.  
"Smoke?" Nicky was the first to break the silence, as always, her physical interaction abandoned for the sake of another occupation.  
"Yeah." Scrabbling in the box by the back door for the keys, Alex opened the back door, the pair finding seats on the step that faced out over the turf.  
Lighting their respective cigarettes, she inhaled deeply, mulling over a reality she wasn't sure she was ready to face.

"You said she knew Piper when she was younger?"  
"Yeah, debutante days and shit."  
"Are they all like that?" Alex flicked some ash away from them both, studiously avoiding Nicky's gaze.  
"Like what?"  
"The girls from your school days. Are they all like Fig and Polly?" Alex founded herself spitting the final word out like chewing tobacco, and it left as sour a taste on her tongue as she'd expect.  
"Not all of 'em. I'm not like that." Nicky reasoned, leaning back until she could rest her head against the poured concrete that the house was constructed from.  
"Is Piper?" Alex's immediate fear became evident, and Nicky didn't bother to conceal her chuckle.  
"How am I s'posed to know? Before last week, I hadn't seen her for years."  
Alex nodded, taking the answer without question.

Nicky dug a soft elbow into her friend's ribs. "Time'll tell. She doesn't _seem_ like a bitch, but I've been surprised before."

Alex released a cloud of cigarette smoke from between perfectly pursed lips, and Nicky recalled the first time they'd met, how she'd watched Alex complete exactly the same motion, and how allowed herself to wonder what those lips would feel like.  
That was years ago, and Nicky needed to help now, not indulge herself. She wasn't even attracted to Alex - well, _not anymore_ \- and she wanted to be of assistance.  
"Hey," she chided. "There's no rush."  
"I have to share a department with her though. And, by the way, thanks for pointing _that_ out."  
Nicky nodded. "Look Vause, either you rush in like a bull in a fucking Italian restaurant - "  
" _China shop._ "  
" - Don't be racist. Or, you take your sweet time and actually get to know her."

Alex looked at Nicky, and the intensity of the brunette's gaze almost threw her off.  
"I thought you said this was a bad idea."  
"It is, but there's no need to rush it. It's like that poem - be the road less travelled. Or, _take_ the road less travelled. Or just, travel? I don't remember."  
"That reference makes no sense in this context." Alex mumbled, skeptically. "But I think I get what you mean."  
Nicky nodded, as though accepting the proposal before her. "Whatever the fuckin' poem is, take it slow. Think of all the roads." She nudged Alex's arm as the woman went to take a drag from her cigarette, ash tumbling from the tip and onto her shirt. Alex raised an eyebrow at her, a challenge, but Nicky simply smiled.  
"You've got time."


	12. The Line of Beauty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd received a few PMs on ff.net requesting domestic Vauseman, so I've included a little of that for those of you who "just want to see them move in together already, sweet jesus!" (Direct quote from a pleasantly impatient person.)

 

The bright midday light shining through a crack in Alex's curtains had awoken Piper sometime ago, and although the sour acidity from their trip to the diner was still emblazoned across her tongue, her headache was mercifully missing.  
Clouds scudded across the summer sky like bruises against pale skin, staining the soft blue backdrop with so many shades of grey that Piper would've needed a colour chart to count them all.  
She grouped the abstruse shapes as they passed - _stratus, cumulus, nimbus_ \- unaware of the seconds slipping by.

Piper's phone buzzed insistently against the bedside cabinet, another reminder that she'd soon have to face the consequences of her irresponsibility - she doubted Alex would've been impressed by her _mad vomiting skills_.  
Rolling onto her back, she reached for her mobile, and found herself inundated with message after message from her roommate:  
 _15:52 - Your colleague is a bitch._ _We spoke for 3mins and she couldn't even remember my name.  
_ _15:53 - Pleeeease tell me there's somebody else in your department aside from her, because if not, we need to have a *serious*conversation when you get home. Alex made weird comments about you sharing her bed and I'm worried about you.  
_ _16:56 - I'm so worried that I've eaten your slice of cheesecake from the fridge.  
_ _16:57 - (Please bring more cheesecake home.)_

Piper didn't know where to begin. She reread the messages several times to try and find a safe place to start from, but eventually gave up.  
The only thing she could focus on was the idea of a glass of water - which Alex had kindly left by the bed for her - and making her way back to the land of the living.

Gingerly, she aimed for the latter, sitting slowly upright and nudging her legs over the edge of the mattress. The springs creaked and protested beneath her, and Piper faltered for a moment as she wondered how such an old bed might have found its way into such a new house.  
The questions sputtered and died out as she pressed her feet to the cold wooden floorboards, tugging her clothes on for the second time that day, and tugging open Alex's bedroom door.

The smell of food drifted up the stairs to meet her - rosemary, thyme, chicken, potatoes - and she was carried down to the lower floor by her own curiosity, driven by her rumbling stomach to the source of the scent.

From the foot of the bottom step, she turned left, making her way into the high-ceilinged kitchen. Nicky was seated on a stool by the table in the centre of the room, evidently taking great delight in watching Alex be shown how to _correctly_ slice vegetables for a stew by the insistent Red.  
The more the older Russian woman fussed, the less inclined Alex seemed to be to listen to her, to the point of seemingly cutting the items askew on purpose.

"Vause, _no!_ " The chef chided, slipping the knife from the brunette's grasp and repeating her previous gestures at a slower pace, as though it was Alex's understanding that was the problem.  
"Vause _yes._ " Nicky countered from her viewpoint, craning her neck to watch as Alex - now tasked with chopping more vegetables - continued to disregard all instructions given to her.

Piper approached the edge of Nicky's table anxiously, so far unseen, but found herself unable to avoid her host's keen eye.

"Hey, sleeping beauty's here." The homeowner hopped from her stool and applied a gentle punch to Piper's bicep, a fond gesture of affection. "You feelin' better?"  
Alex, Piper noted, had ceased her slicing at the mention of her arrival, twisting her body to get a better look at the newcomer.  
Red abandoned the simmering stew pot almost immediately, elbowing Nicky aside as she fussed about Piper, laying a palm on her cheek in a motherly fashion.  
"You American girls shouldn't be allowed to drink unattended." She stated in an authoritative tone, patting Piper's face.  
"Isn't that a little, uh… Sexist?" Nicky queried at her shoulder, pulling faces at Piper from her position just out of Red's eyeline.  
The older woman turned, eyebrow arched in a suitably disparaging manner. "I never said that American boys were any _better_."

Seemingly satisfied with Piper's disposition, she gestured for the two blondes to take a seat at the table, and returned to stirring the meal.  
"In Russia," she ventured, ignoring Alex's soft snicker at the opening of the sentence. "We start you young. A little vodka before kindergarten, keeps the cold out." She gestured ambiguously with the spoon she cradled.  
Alex glanced at her idly semi-sliced potato in hand. "I call bullshit."  
"What?" Red asked, doing her best to appear to be innocent. "Are you suggesting that I'm lying about the vodka keeping the cold out, or that we give it to the little ones?"

"Roses are red, violets are blue." Nicky gave Piper a conspiratorial nudge, inclining her head so that only she could hear the words. "In Soviet Russia, the vodka drinks _you_."  
Piper snorted in response, an involuntary sound that raised further mirth from Nicky.  
Red brandished a wooden spoon at the pair of them. "Don't think I can't hear your mischief - that joke didn't even make sense. You may not be my real daughter, but I can still beat the insolence out of you."  
Nicky raised her hands in surrender. "Alright, alright. One more. A British guy, a French guy, and a Russian are looking at a portrait of Adam and Eve. 'Look at their calm, their reserve' says the British guy. 'Surely they must be British!' 'Shut le fuck up.' Replies the Frenchman. 'They're beautiful. Surely they must be French!'"

Red cocked her head skeptically, but Alex had turned from the worktop to watch. She caught Piper's eye, a mouthed inquiry slipping from her lips across the momentary stillness of the room: _You okay_?  
Piper nodded, a shy smile in reply, bowing her head as her cheeks flushed.

Nicky continued, oblivious. "The Russian shakes his head and goes, 'they have no clothes, no shelter, only an apple to eat, and they've been told this is paradise. They're Russian!'"  
She grinned at those around her, the corners of her eyes crinkling with laughter as Alex let out a guffaw from across the table.  
Piper covered her own mouth with her hand, smothering the giggle she had been doing her best to contain.  
"That is an old joke." Red grumbled.  
"But it's a good one, right? It's fuckin' funny!"  
Nicky chased Red's reluctant approval tenaciously, and eventually the older woman relented, a begrudging beam quirking the corners of her mouth.  
"I suppose it is a classic. Like me."

Still making eye contact, Piper hesitantly approached Alex, determined to not embarrass herself any further.  
"Alex?"  
The brunette smiled. "Hey. You sleep okay?"  
"I did. I'm sorry I was sick."  
Alex shrugged. "Shit happens. You hungry? I think Red's cooked enough to feed the Kremlin."  
Piper stepped a little closer, her cotton-covered arm grazing Alex's bare bicep, rose tattoo peeking out from the sleeve of her t-shirt. "Can I use your shower first?"  
Alex pressed the knife through the root on the chopping board, slowly, deliberately, with greater care and attention than she'd shown any of the items up to that point.  
Finally setting the blade down on the block, Alex nodded. "Sure."

Taking Piper's hand – the contact of her skin sending adrenaline coursing inexplicably through the blonde's system – Alex headed for the stairs once more.  
"You have thirty minutes," Red called after them, her words chasing them up the steps. "I won't wait to serve up!"  
" _In Soviet Russia_ ," Alex heard Nicky begin from beneath them, but the sound of wood slapping against skin and a laughed protestation was all that followed.

* * *

Piper's palm was warm against Alex's, and the brunette hoped she hadn't been too presumptuous in reaching for her colleague's hand. Piper hadn't pulled away or seemed surprised, so Alex assumed she was safe.

Pausing only to take a towel from the cupboard in her bedroom, Alex led her companion to the final door along the first floor corridor, which opened onto a bathroom - a grand black tile and polished chrome affair, with all the unnecessary extravagance of a claw-foot bathtub and a heated floor.

Piper smiled, taking the towel but not releasing Alex's hand. "Thanks."  
The younger woman wanted to do something for Alex, a gesture of gratitude, and without repeating herself, there was only one way she could think to show her host how appreciative she was.  
Pulling Alex closer, Piper pushed the door closed behind them both, guiding Alex backward until she rested against the wooden frame.  
She pressed her lips to Alex's gently, and could feel the brunette smiling into the kiss.  
Wrapping her arms around the woman's waist, she caressed Alex's hourglass curves, but knew that she'd have to break away soon or risk losing her nerve.

After several seconds, Piper stepped back, easing her shirt over her head as she did so.  
She could feel Alex's eyes on her, and her body temperature began to rise, thanking whichever deities existed as she unclasped her bra without fumbling.

It was clear that this was _not_ Piper's first strip-tease, although this was her first impromptu performance.  
In the past, each item of clothing had been carefully selected, there had been music and candles, and her boyfriend would be seated _just_ out of reach.  
In days gone by, she'd been the kind of girl to practice before committing to the act, and would've lost hours in front of a mirror or a bemused Polly, who had never understood her penchant for the slow burn.

Alex had been kind to her, and although this kindness had not been outside the realms of normal human compassion, Piper was thankful for it. Offering Alex money for allowing her to stay over and use the facilities would be inappropriate - verging on offensive - and she had nothing with her to leave as a gift, apart from a lasting memory.  
 _So,_ Piper mused, _let this be the lasting memory._

Shoulder blades flush against the door, Alex ached with desire.  
Piper was exquisite, and Alex felt waves of emotion wash over her from gazing upon the woman she stood before. She could recall tales of Florentines fainting upon seeing works of art, and wondered if this light-headed feeling she was experiencing was akin to the same syndrome. Stendhal had not accounted for the repercussions of seeing beautiful women in his writings on the subject, but Alex would write for weeks if it meant she could even come close to capturing the blonde's perfection.

All that remained was Piper's underwear.

Alex fought the urge to intervene, to hook her thumbs through the black fabric and tug it down to the blonde's ankles, to drop to her knees and press her mouth to -  
"Show me how to use the shower?" Piper asked, coyly, interrupting Alex's reverie.  
Alex nodded slowly.  
She approached Piper, taking her hips in her hands. Turning her on the spot, she guided the younger woman to the back of the room, where a plate-sized raindrop showerhead hung from the ceiling, separated from them by a large glass pane.  
Leaning past the partition, Alex turned a dial on the wall. Hot water and steam issued forth from the spout, misting the glass into a thick opaque barrier.

Piper placed her hands on Alex's and urged them down, and Alex's breath caught in her throat as she watched daydream coming to fruition, knees bruising against the unforgiving bathroom tiles as her mouth watered to taste the woman before her.  
"Alex?"  
She glanced up and found Piper smiling down at her, self-consciousness echoing off her in waves. Rising to her feet, Alex embraced Piper tentatively.  
"Is everything okay?"  
Piper stepped out of the underwear Alex had helped her shed, and snaked a cold hand inside Alex's t-shirt. Gasping from the contact, Alex pulled the blonde in for a kiss, the warmth of their mouths a foil for the chill emanating from Piper's palm.  
"Shower with me?" Her mouth was at Alex's ear, teeth toying with the soft skin.  
The brunette found Piper's hands at the button of her jeans, insistent fingers tugging down a stubborn zip.  
"Yes." Alex affirmed breathlessly. " _Yes_."


	13. Brave New World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT: Hey, if you like reading about people having sex in the shower, you should check out my Vauseman oneshot 'Hot Water', which is about people having sex in a shower. Available at all good fanfic websites now!  
> (This is kind of a joke - if you think this is poorly written, I would not read 'Hot Water' - it's worse.)
> 
> Actual notes at end. Enjoy.

 

"Shower with me?" Piper's mouth was at Alex's ear, teeth toying with the cartilage.  
Alex found the woman's hands at the button of her jeans, insistent fingers tugging down a stubborn zip.  
"Yes." She affirmed breathlessly. " _Yes_."

The chill of the bathroom raised pinpricks across her skin, and yet Alex found herself so flushed with heat that she was sure she would be burning to the touch.  
Piper removed her clothes with a haste that belied an evident apprehension, and Alex felt the trembling of the younger woman's hands each time they brushed against her skin, eventually taking them into her own.

" _Piper_."  
Her tone was soft, commanding. Piper's eyes met hers, a myriad of blues and greens that Alex was certain must be deeper than any ocean on earth. As much as she wanted to lose herself in the seas before her, she sought still waters to sink into.  
"Mm?"  
"We don't have to do this."  
The blonde faltered. "We don't?"

 _Excellent_ , Piper groaned inwardly. _She's not interested.  
_ This apology-slash-gift-of-gratitude-slash-sexual-reciprocation was rapidly becoming her worst idea to date, and she could feel the embarrassment radiating away from her in waves.

But Alex _had_ said 'yes' - twice, in fact - and if Piper's desire-addled mind wasn't too fogged by this beautiful woman, that was the clearest form of consent she could have received.

Clearing her throat, Piper leveled her gaze. "I would like to have sex with you."  
Alex cocked her head to one side. "That was implied. But you're shaking." She countered, although not without an accompanying smile.  
"Oh." Piper let her hands drop from Alex's hourglass waist to hang loosely at her sides. "Yes. That would be the adrenaline. Because I'd like to have sex with you. Again."  
The brunette raised an eyebrow quizzically, as though still bemused.  
Piper reached tentatively for Alex's hand, intertwining their fingers. " _Please_."

Alex couldn't help but admire the younger woman's tenacity.  
"Do I make you nervous?"  
"Absolutely."  
"Why?"  
Piper faltered. "Because..." She glanced down at the hand she held, thumb brushing Alex's knuckles with care.  
Alex mirrored the gesture, stepping nearer to close the gap between them. "Because?"

Piper could feel Alex's breath on her cheek, and even though her head was bowed, she was sure she could hear the smile in Alex's voice.  
She was _really goddamn anxious.  
_ Not only was this her first time to actively have sex with a woman - she had remained wonderfully (and yet woefully) passive during last night's activities, never once returning Alex's infinite favours - but Alex seemed somehow important.

At least, more important than too many drinks and a one night stand.

Sure, there was the minor detail that Alex was her colleague, and a relative stranger when compared with Piper's previous conquests.  
But concerns regarding professionalism and unfamiliarity weren't holding her back. So what was it?

Something about attraction. Something about comfort. Something about feeling safe and happy and joyous and calm and -  
The words of a long-forgotten poem writhed in Piper's brain, as she desperately tried to make some sort of sense out of the maelstrom of feelings she wanted to convey via the medium of words to Alex, because standing in stock-still silence in a room rapidly filling with steam from the shower was the epitome of counter-productive.

_Uninvited, the thought of you stayed too late in my head,  
_ _so I went to bed, dreaming you hard, woke with your name  
_ _like tears, soft, salt, on my lips._

"You feel so inevitable to me." Piper blurted.  
Alex laughed a little self-consciously. " _What_?"  
"You. Me. _This_." Piper gestured vaguely around her, still holding onto Alex as though she could anchor herself to something steady and certain. "Ever since I met you, I've found myself drawn to you."  
She heard herself speaking and recognised that she sounded like an idiot, but at least she was self-aware. Now all she needed was for Alex to politely ask her to leave, along with a snarky remark about how this weekend was becoming less like 'Sense and Sensibility' and more like 'Fatal Attraction'.

Seconds passed before Piper's internal admonishments slowed to a dull roar, each of her senses slowly processing the fact that Alex was still standing beside her, and for some reason hadn't yet run for the hills.

"You look like rabbit in the headlights." Alex remarked, softly. She kissed Piper on the cheek, refusing to let the silence damage Piper's discourse. "Finish your monologue."

The blonde met Alex's eyes hesitantly. "I kept wanting to come to you. To seek you out. To see you."  
"So why didn't you?" The inquiry was quiet, more akin to a caress than a question.  
"I thought you'd think I was stupid. Or uncool."  
Alex shook her head, slipping her hand from Piper's grasp and instead embracing the blonde.  
"You know what's ironic?"  
Her lips brushed against Piper's ear like a memory, the faint feeling of something so familiar and yet distant. "I spent years avoiding girls like you for exactly the same reason."  
Piper opened her mouth to respond, but Alex pressed a second kiss to Piper's lips.  
"And coming here, dealing with all that fear?" She eyed Piper earnestly. "That was really brave. I mean it was dumb - 'cause you _cannot_ hold your drink - but brave."

The blonde gave a self-effacing laugh, ducking her head until she rested against Alex's clavicle, warm in the arms of the intoxicating crush she'd been carrying for a week now.

"I like you, okay?" Alex took a step back, shrugging the t-shirt over her head until it joined her jeans on the floor beside them.  
Unclipping the clasp of her bra, she placed Piper's hands over her semi-clothed chest, sandwiching the thin fabric garment between them.  
Piper could feel Alex's nipples pressing against her palms through the material, and her heart began to beat so loudly, she was certain it must be audible.

It was the most perfect mirror of the motions from the night before, and if Alex's body had seemed wondrous in the midst of a drunken stupor, it was entrancing in the light of day.

Slipping the straps over her shoulders and withdrawing her arms, Alex took a second step away from Piper.  
Her breasts were left exposed, and Piper took a sharp intake of breath as she found herself holding Alex's underwear and eyeing the brunette's body openly.

"I don't care that it's only been a week, or that we work together. Feelings like this, they don't happen every day for me. In case you missed it the first time, _I like you_." Alex shrugged. "Do you like me?"  
Her voice beckoned from Piper's auditory periphery, and she tore her eyes away from the pale expanse of skin before her.  
"Yes." Piper nodded, in case words alone weren't sufficient confirmation. She wanted to be clear, but sought certainty herself, probing a little further to be sure. "Like, as _more_ than a friend, or..?"  
" _Shit_ , Pipes." Alex laughed. "Dealing with emotional chaos is not one of your strong suits."

She removed her underwear from Piper's hands and dropped it unceremoniously onto the floor. "I am incredibly attracted to you. Is it reciprocated?"  
"Oh!" Piper beamed, as though suddenly enlightened. "Yes."

Emboldened, the younger woman took a step forward, tangling her fingers in Alex's dark hair as she drew her in for a kiss.  
The gesture was hesitant, but nowhere near as tentative as before. Alex could feel the relief behind the motion, the tension seeping from Piper's body as though the uncertainty had been washed away.

"Can we shower now?" Piper was breathless but eager, grinning inanely.  
"Yes Pipes."

Alex abandoned her glasses on the edge of the sink, pushing her hair back into a tie from her wrist.

Taking Piper by the hand, they stepped into the cubicle together, bodies flush under the beating of the water, their skins blushing pink from the heat.

Piper lay her lips against the soft skin covering Alex's collarbone, hands roaming the body she coveted. She sunk her teeth into the smooth muscle her tongue had traced, and felt Alex's body surge closer, the warmth between them rising exponentially with every moan that slipped from Alex's open mouth.

Backing Alex towards the tiles, Piper palmed the brunette's breasts, rewarded with the swaying of strong hips against her own.

Alex's head was swimming. _This_ , she reminded herself, _is what desire feels like_.  
This hunger, this hammering heartbeat, this elation and elevated sense of self-worth - although temporary - had been absent for so many months.

For the longest time, Alex had been determined that each and every attraction she'd experience forevermore would be fleeting. Nothing seemed to stick, and the best she'd get would be a steady simmer for several weeks before an inevitable failure to launch.

_And then there was Piper._

Piper, who she'd dismissed as too prim and preppy in the first instance, but seemed unexpectedly down to earth.

Piper, who had written her a list of favourite novels because there were too many to choose from, self-consciously handing them over but refusing to let Alex read them until she was out of sight.

Middle-class white Anglo-Saxon protestant Piper, with a history of debutante balls and best-in-class boyfriends, who had arrived at her house party with an expression that screamed 'social anxiety' more clearly than she'd ever seen on the face of such a beautiful woman before.

She was too much of an enigma to ignore.  
Even more so now that she seemed to have found her way between Alex's thighs.

Piper would happily be the first to admit that she had no idea what to do in this situation. Sure, she knew how to get _herself_ off, but she wasn't sure how useful that information would be here.  
It was to her relief that Alex's hand found her own, urging her forward gently.

The warm water hanging from their bodies seemed frozen in time as their mutual fumblings found Alex's clit, and the droplets down Piper's arm made contact with the wetness already waiting there.

Alex set a steady pace, breath coming in short gasps as she cupped the back of Piper's head with her free hand, drawing the blonde in for a kiss as her hips bucked forwards.  
She moaned into Piper's mouth, eliciting a similar response from the blonde. The steam shrouded them, until they were surrounded so completely in their own solitude that the room, the whole house, perhaps even the earth itself seemed a million miles away.

Alex's body moved against Piper's as though it had always been there, one curve accommodating the other, limbs imperceptibly entangled, each whispered utterance bleeding into the next.

She let her hand fall to Piper's hips as the blonde found her rhythm, guidance no longer necessary.

Piper's fingers pressed forward with such sincerity that Alex could've sworn they had done this at least one hundred times before, digits slipping inside the brunette's heated entrance as though she was reading her body like a map.  
" _Fuck, Piper_..."

The younger woman curled two fingers inside Alex gently, as she recalled the _come hither_ motion she'd made so many times for herself.  
Nails traced the camber of her shoulder blades, biting into the soft flesh beneath her bones, the sting of Alex's appreciation mingling with the hot water hitting her back worth every moment.

Fricatives tumbled from Alex's lips, back arching against the tiles as she approached the precipice.  
Piper shifted inside her, and suddenly Alex could feel her deep in the pit of her stomach, in the ache between her thighs, in the slickness dripping from the hand which both held her still and urged her on in equal measure.  
She was dizzy with want, head heavy with a hunger for the body she held, to invoke the same fervour from the woman who made her weak at the knees.

Alex was dangling by a thread, and Piper increased her pace accordingly. She wanted to do Alex proud, to return the favour from the night before, to make her feel so damn _good_.

She was breathless with anticipation, the shower reduced to a bright white noise around her alongside Alex's moaned invocations.

Piper pressed her mouth to Alex's chest, the soft expanse of skin just above her left breast, and sucked. She tasted the blush of blood beneath the flesh as the love bite spread, and felt Alex tighten around her.

The burning in Alex's flesh started as the warmest candle wax she'd ever toyed with, but soon blossomed into the kind of heat that both burned and chilled at once.  
The sharp edge of Piper's teeth grazing against the bruise found Alex tumbling over the edge of her own desire, the flickers of Piper's fleeting fingers against her clit prolonging the fall, and the whispered words she wasn't sure she'd even heard - " _come for me, Alex_ " - proved to be her final undoing.

Piper held her fast, watching with awe the response she'd brought about in the woman simply by following her own instincts and Alex's gentle introduction, doing her best to ignore that prickling in the back of her skull that perhaps it was all false.

The brunette shuddered and gasped for air, scattering Piper's doubts to the wind for another day.

It seemed to Alex that perhaps she'd surfaced suddenly from a deep sleep.  
Maybe she'd been sleepwalking for months.  
Her head felt clear, and the body she held in her hands felt as though it belonged there.  
(She'd blame the endorphins for her momentary Romanticism later, but in that instant, it felt painfully authentic.)

"Was that okay?" Piper tried to sound as though her confidence wasn't almost entirely tied up in the answer to her inquiry, but Alex's rapturous grin filled in the blanks, and she allowed herself to release a relieved sigh.  
"More than okay. Great. Good. Amazing." Alex lifted her head from the cold tile wall, before letting it fall back again. _Too soon_. "All the synonyms, kid."  
Piper's laugh was melodic, and Alex smiled through the post-coital haze.  
"You sure?"  
"Are _you sure_ that was your first time? I feel like I've been hustled."  
"I'm so sure."  
Alex drew Piper in for another kiss, her teeth toying with the blonde's bottom lip as she traced the thin line with her tongue.

Piper's feelings of inadequacy had been brought to their knees by Alex's response, and she beamed with pride.  
"Sorry about the..." She gestured ambiguously at her own chest, reflecting the new red and blue addition to Alex's existing body art.  
Alex brushed her hand over it, flinching a little as she grazed her fingers over the offending mark. "A hickey? What are you, twelve?"  
Piper would have been concerned, if not for the trademark smirk quirking the corner of Alex's lips.  
"It was an accident. Heat of the moment." Piper eyed the shower head, doing her best to conceal her own smile. " _Literally_."  
Alex guffawed. "That was a fucking awful joke."  
"Want me to _shower you_ with compliments instead?"

Alex stepped beneath the cascade of hot water beside them and reached out for Piper, turning her on the spot, reaching for the soap as she did so. Lathering her hands, she ran her soap-slick palms down Piper's body, gliding over the younger woman's hips.

"Somebody once told me," she ventured, thumbs pressing against the protruding bones she found as she drew the woman closer to her, breasts flush against Piper's back. "That people are better in the abstract."

Alex drew one hand up, planting it firmly in the centre of Piper's chest. She placed her lips against Piper's ear. Her other hand slipped lower, skimming the soft curls at the apex of Piper's thighs and eliciting a soft gasp from the blonde.  
"The more jokes you tell, the more right I think he was."  
Piper shuddered, anticipation prickling her spine. " _Mm_." It was neither agreement nor opposition - she couldn't find the words.

Alex dipped lower, sliding her fingers either side of Piper's clit, stroking it as slowly as she could. Piper moaned loudly, her body arching against Alex's, but Alex's other arm held her firmly in place.  
The soap seemed to double Piper's sensitivity, and she was writhing in Alex's grasp, desperate for release.

"Alex, please..."  
"What do you want, Piper?"  
" _More_."

Alex increased her pace, causing Piper to press even closer to her, ass grinding against Alex's own cunt.  
" _Fuck_." The brunette's utterance was a little breathless, and Piper moaned in response. Fucking Alex had turned her on so much, and now hearing Alex echo the same sentiment as she fucked Piper pushed her even further.

Alex regained her composure and asked again. "What do you want?"

Piper hadn't ever excelled at asking for what she wanted, even as a child. Growing up in a privileged family, things would simply materialise for her, and she learned to appreciate them regardless of if she was truly interested or not.

It was never too late to change.

"Your fingers inside me."

Alex moved her hand from Piper's chest to her throat, feeling the muscles writhe under the skin as she tilted the woman's head back.  
Her teeth found Piper's pounding pulse as her fingers slipped inside the woman.  
Piper was tight, the moans loud from her lips as Alex pressed further, the blood beating beneath her tongue like a trapped bird.  
She could hear Piper calling her name, over and over until the phonemes blurred into a heap of rapid syllables, incomprehensible and unimportant, the body she held becoming limp.

Pipe's orgasm hadn't been the slow build she was used to. It had been a heady, breakneck rush into territory that was both familiar and new, fresh. She thought she knew the way she worked, each touch that turned her on, every word that set her alight, but the way Alex made her blood sing in her veins taught her otherwise.

She came alongside a tumult of curses and obscenely moaned versions of Alex's name that she was almost embarrassed by.

Strong arms held her close, and as her orgasm subsided, she couldn't help but recognise how _safe_ everything seemed, in spite of the risks they'd taken to reach this point.

Sleeping with a co-worker could be a fire-able offence.  
She found that she didn't care.

"Okay?"  
Piper nodded, the fog in her brain subsiding as the steam from the shower dissipated around them. "Good. Thank you."  
Alex laughed. "Why are you thanking me?"  
Piper shrugged, limbs heavy and head fuzzy. "S'polite."

Turning the shower off, Alex carefully negotiated their exit from the shower.  
Piper stumbled, seemingly uncertain of exactly where her feet ended and the floor began, but Alex had her wrapped in the only towel they'd brought before she could do herself any damage.

Voices drifted along the corridor beyond the door - abstract fragments regarding _food_ and _now_ \- and Alex knew that their time together was over, at least for now.  
"I'll drive you home after dinner." She said quietly, planting a small kiss on Piper's forehead.  
Piper nodded.

All good things had to come to an end.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'm going to say it - the characterisation felt off here. Not miles away from where it should've been, but equally not as close as I usually like to get it.  
> I normally vent about the issues I have with my fics to a select few (you know who you are, and I'm sorry), but I want you to know that I know that it's not perfect.  
> (I am really critical of my writing, but this time at least I feel like it's justified.)
> 
> Okay, ramble over.  
> Poetry extract is from 'You' by Carol Ann Duffy, which comes from her collection 'Rapture'. (Bonus points if you noticed this book in a previous chapter. It's a great read.)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the fic. Feedback always appreciated, even if it's just another PM saying "yeah, the characterisation WAS way off."


	14. Under the Skin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the length of the last chapter, this one's a little shorter.  
> I feel like I'm back on track with the characters, so thanks for your feedback about that.  
> Review replies at the bottom of the page...

 

Nicky raised her eyes from her phone as Alex and Piper entered the kitchen.  
"Hey, not-lesbians. Good shower?"  
Piper blushed, and Nicky could recall seeing the same response on the face of a younger, debutante version of the woman before her. She felt ancient in relation to this vision of her youth, as though she were witnessing some sort of bad, alternate universe interpretation of herself.  
Shaking the thought, she eyed the pair skeptically.  
"You both seem pretty..." Nicky sought for a euphemism rather than a crude turn of phrase, but failed. "... Wet."

Alex set both hands on the table, and Nicky recognised the challenge when she saw it.  
"I guess that makes you bone-dry, Nick." The brunette raised an eyebrow.  
"Sure, but only since last Wednesday. I guess that's nothing in relation to your - what was it?" Nicky pretended to count the time since Alex's last lay on her fingers. "Six month drought?"  
"There was a drought in California in 2011." Red remarked, joining the conversation from the corner of the room where she was cleaning the work surface. "Thirty-four percent less rain than expected."  
"Wait - weren't _you_ in California in 2011?" Alex teased, pointing a finger at Nicky before upturning the gesture into something obscene.  
"Listen," Nicky began, earnestly. "There's a perfectly valid ' _your mom_ ' joke ready to go here, but I'm not going to take the opportunity because I respect you too much." She held up her hands in mock surrender. "We good?"  
Alex's out-for-blood expression softened, and she nodded.  
"Thanks," she acknowledged, turning her attentions back to Piper.

Nicky returned to the article she'd been reading, but raised her eyes from her phone once more to see Alex smoothing a stray lock of hair behind Piper's ear, and Nicky found that she couldn't help but make a suitably inappropriate vomiting noise to bring the couple back to Earth.  
For a moment, Alex looked as though she might object to Nicky's refined form of comedy, but Red intervened, appearing behind her with two steaming bowls of stew.  
"If you make that noise at my cooking, you won't have any." She warned, returning to the stove for the remaining portions. "And then you'll be sorry."

Before assuming her seat at the table, Red retrieved a jug of water and four cups, placing these final items in the centre of the group. Pouring a glass for each person present, she lifted her own into the air, an informal toast for no clear reason.  
"There will be no drought here for anybody." She said, innocent smile affixed in place. "But that does not mean we should throw ourselves into the ocean."

* * *

The meal that Red had prepared for them was delicious, and Piper was embraced by the chef several times before being allowed to leave the house that evening.  
Even Nicky insisted on giving Piper a cursory hug as she bid them goodnight, heading out to the car that Alex had running on the driveway.

"You ready to go?"  
The brunette had her hands on the steering wheel, seat pushed back on its runners to accomodate her long legs.  
Piper paused before replying, considering how to respond. "No."  
"You left something? 'Cause you've got time to go back in and get it."  
"No, I just..." Piper trailed off, still not completely sure how to tell Alex the truth: this was the best weekend she'd had in a considerable time, and it was still only Saturday night. "Can I get your number?"

Alex leaned over the centre console, and for a moment Piper thought she was about to be kissed again, but instead Alex snaked her hand into Piper's pocket, sliding her mobile phone from its hiding place.  
Tapping several digits and a name into the address book, she handed the phone back, and pressed down on the accelerator.  
With a final grin tossed in the blonde's direction, Alex pushed a CD into the stereo.  
"Lead the way, kid."

Piper had never even heard of the band named 'Cold War Kids' before entering the vehicle, but by the time they reached her apartment on the other side of the city, she felt fairly well versed in their career to date.  
Alex had played her a mix CD of her favourite tracks of theirs, and Piper had been too enraptured by her passion to notice that the sun had long since set, and they were parked in place outside her building.

"I guess this is where I say goodbye." She mumbled, hands balling into fists in her lap.  
"No," Alex replied quietly, her hand lifting Piper's head until their eyes met. "Only _goodnight_."

Their final kiss was soft, gentle, and it took all of Piper's self control to open the passenger-side door.

She clambered out of the car with the grace and poise Alex expected, but swung round to say a final farewell, and nearly knocked herself unconscious on the doorframe in her haste.  
Alex stifled a laugh as Piper scowled at her, rubbing the red welt growing on her forehead.  
With a sigh and a smile, she relented. "I've had a really great time."  
"Yeah, me too. See you on Monday?"  
Piper nodded. She seemed almost melancholy, and Alex made a mental note to text her later to check in. "Yes, definitely."  
"Hey," Alex lead with humour, hoping to brighten Piper's dampened disposition. "Monday seems a lot less shitty now that I know you'll be there."  
Piper's answering beam was a beacon of hope. "Yeah?"  
"Yeah. Text me?"  
"Of course I will." Piper's smile blossomed.  
"Great. Sleep well, kid."  
"You too, Alex."

Piper slammed the door behind her, and Alex watched her walk to the front of her building, taking the steps two at the time.  
She turned at the entrance, raising a hand in valediction, and slipped into the foyer.

Alex waited until the woman was out of sight before she dropped her head to the leather-covered steering wheel.  
 _Fuck_.  
She was completely and utterly captivated by Piper Chapman, and couldn't figure out how it had happened.  
She tried to track back through the past week to find the source, but it was harder than she could fathom, both more nuanced than she had become accustomed to.

It was as though every single simple gesture was accompanied with a wealth of meaning and detail, but Alex reconstructed the narrative as best she was able to nonetheless.

A little flirting had become a genuine fondness.  
The fondness passed into the realms of affection when she saw the woman's vulnerability - insecure and yet carefree in bursts - coupled with a genuine naivete.  
Affection became attraction, which lead to a single kiss, and the next leap in Alex's mind found them drunk and disrobed, half-dressed and fucking in her bed; _Nicky would've been proud._  
But then came the snuggling.  
The hand-holding.  
The honest-to-God concern she'd felt in the pit of her stomach when Piper - stupid, hungover Piper - had been ill.  
The surge of protectiveness she'd experienced as the woman slept, and during the phone call to Polly, and when she finally surfaced after hours in Alex's bed, all Alex had wanted to do was hold her…

And the shower.  
 _Holy fuck_ , the shower.  
The care and attention Piper had shown Alex's body was greater than Alex had shown herself in such a long time.

Alex exhaled with as much force as she could, and ran her fingers through her hair.  
It was time to go home, to see if she could sleep off the intensity of these feelings.  
She didn't mind them objectively, but the timing was terrible.

Grabbing the closest disc to hand, she ejected the Cold War Kids mix and switched it for Sleater-Kinney. Jamming her thumb into the play button on the stereo, she sped off into the city, doing her best to ignore the lyrics bursting from the speakers, 'One More Hour' flaying her with a dozen ironies at once.

She skipped every track until she found something without minor chords.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Piper fought to keep the bounce from her step as she bounded into the apartment.  
Kicking her shoes off by the door, she headed for her room, hoping to avoid her roommate for as long as possible.

"Well, here she is."  
Piper glanced around the room at Polly's words, expecting additional company, but they seemed to be alone, the statement played up for dramatics.  
"Hey, Polly."  
"How was your lesbian love affair?" Polly pushed herself away from the kitchen counter she was leaning on and spread her arms in a gesture intended to invite answers, but instead simply slopped rosé onto the floorboards. "Sorry, I mean _party_."  
"Ha, yeah. Funny." Piper took a clean glass from a nearby cupboard and poured herself some of Polly's wine.

"Well?" Her friend demanded, leaning forwards. "What happened? Tell me you _didn't_."  
"Didn't what?" Piper countered, coolly.  
"Have sex with a woman." Polly ejected the words from the corner of her mouth as though it was a comical aside to an unseen audience.  
"And if I did?" The blonde replied with a long, slow sip from her glass, any excuse to avoid Polly's intense gaze.  
Polly's jaw dropped, and if Piper hadn't been so simmeringly frustrated, she would have laughed.  
"Oh my God, _Piper_! Are you _that_ desperate?"  
It was Piper's turn to express her disdain now, setting the wine down on the wooden kitchen surface a little harder than she'd have liked to. "Desperate to _what_? Feel a little human compassion?"  
Polly visibly softened, and Piper allowed herself to settle her fingers at the stem of the wine glass, something to occupy her otherwise clenched fists.  
"With a _woman_ , Piper? Really?"

Piper sighed, raising her free hand to her head to massage her temple, which was pounding. She hadn't had enough to drink today, despite Alex's efforts, and the wine she'd just downed wouldn't help matters.  
"Yes Polly, with a woman."

Polly occupied the ensuing silence with sound effects rather than syllables, and the chug of wine leaving a glass bottle echoed around their pristine kitchen as the woman refilled her own drinking vessel.  
Piper noted that there was less than half of this particular beverage remaining: her roommate had obviously been filling her absence with alcohol.

"Couldn't you have called, at least? You didn't answer any of your texts. I was getting worried."  
Piper nodded slowly. "I'm sorry. I just..." She floundered, wanting to give Polly the truth, but aware of the consequences. "When I was with Alex, everything else was just background."  
The expression Polly adopted told Piper that the worst was occurring. "What, since you turned gay your phone doesn't work?"  
"Seriously, Polly?" Piper was becoming exasperated, and released her drink for the sake of holding her hands out before her, imploring. "You don't just _turn_ gay. You fall somewhere on the spectrum, like on a Kinsey scale."  
"Oh, so now we're measuring how gay we are?"  
"Will you please just listen?"  
The brunette folded her arms, but didn't say anything. Piper felt relieved that Polly was at least willing to give her an opportunity to talk it out.  
"Alex and I have a spark. That's all. I'm not going to run away with her, okay? It's just an attraction."  
 _A really deep, intense attraction, that she would probably lose sleep over._

Eventually, after an indefinite period of time that felt like hours to Piper, Polly began to speak.  
"You keep looking for people you have that chemical thing with, but that's not the whole package." She set her glass down resolutely. "You have to find someone you can spend two weeks with in a cramped timeshare in Montauk, in the rain, and not want to kill, who made jigsaw puzzles fun and competitive."  
Piper nodded slowly. "I get that, I do. I want warm, but I also want hot. I want fireworks. I want somebody I can have _adventures_ with."  
"And you think Alex might be that person? You barely know her." Polly shook her head. "Adventure is just hardship with an inflated sense of self. Eventually, you want someone you can curl up with. Someone who knows when it's time to order Chinese."  
Watching Piper, who seemed defeated despite any evident success on either side of the dispute, Polly shook her head. "Do you even know if Alex likes Chinese food?"

Emptying her glass, Piper moved to the sink, rinsing the kitchenware and placing it on the drying rack. "We didn't really get around to talking about food. In between, you know, all the sex."  
It was an exaggeration on her part, but perhaps Polly did have a point, as much as Piper loathed to admit it.  
"One day, when I'm less mad at you," Polly joined Piper at the sink, their elbows connecting as Piper continued to wash and Polly invaded her space, easing the tension with an incline of her head in Piper's direction. "You can tell me what it was like."

Piper glanced at her roommate from the corner of her eye, and saw Polly smiling. She allowed the corners of her lips to quirk upwards at the corners, but kept her head hanging low.

"I'm off to bed." Polly stated matter-of-factly, brushing away the cobwebs of their previous conversation. "See you tomorrow?"  
Piper nodded. "Sleep well."  
"You too. Night." The reply was distant - Polly was halfway down the corridor - but heartfelt, and Piper felt the pressure in her chest ease.  
She hated confrontation, particularly with her friends, but she was sure that Polly would see sense.

Piper liked Alex, _a lot_. Surely there was no immediate harm in that?  
She hoped fervently that her roommate would wish her well eventually.

* * *

Sliding into bed, Piper toyed with the idea of sending Alex a goodnight message.  
Thumbing through her phonebook, she found Alex's name curiously missing from under the letter _A_.

Her surname was Vause; perhaps she was filed under there instead?  
Searching further, _V_ was also lacking Alex's name.

Piper was bemused. Alex _had_ entered her details, hadn't she? Becoming a little frantic, Piper scrolled back up to the beginning of the alphabet, cycling through each individual entry, pausing only when she reached _H_.  
There it was: _HotForTeacher_.  
Piper smothered a laugh with her open palm, biting her bottom lip to suppress the smile that threatened to make her face ache.

Opening a new message thread, she opted for simplicity. Taking any other route would've lead to hours of drafting and redrafting, and Piper recognised that she needed sleep above everything else in that moment.  
 _Goodnight, Miss Vause_.

She set her phone down, ensuring that the volume was on in case of any reply.  
She had fewer than five minutes to wait, having only just turned off the light when her mobile buzzed beside her.

_Goodnight kid. X_


	15. Girl, Interrupted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted early as I'm busy almost solidly for the next four days.  
> Slightly longer chapter this time. I'd like them all to be this length, but once the summer break is over, it's less likely. Still, optimism abounds.

 

By Sunday afternoon, Alex was officially _done_ with waiting for Monday.  
The end of the weekend had creaked around with a crushing inevitability, and the only silver lining was that she'd get to see Piper.

It had been remarkably difficult to sleep through Saturday night with the smell of her colleague in her bed, blonde hairs criss-crossing the pillowcases like the golden threads of the mythological Fates; along with her restlessness, Alex's library of unnecessary literary lamentation had also come out to play.

Alex lay with eyes wide open, staring at the blank ceiling as her mind raced back to the minutiae of their time together. She could remember Piper's hand brushing her arm as she'd stood by the stove, and the ways their fingers had entwined beneath the table as they'd eaten dinner.  
If she concentrated hard enough, she could even recall the warmth of Piper's palm on her thigh through her jeans as they'd sat in the car, waiting for a red light that came all-too-soon.

They'd been texting on and off all day, and Alex was ready for the buzz to die down, for her to return to earth with the recognition that Piper was just another pretty girl that had gotten under her skin.  
But it wasn't happening.

Piper wasn't _just another pretty girl._ She was beautiful.  
And this wasn't _just another crush_. She'd had a one-track mind since leaving the woman outside her apartment the night before, and the way her heart hammered when she received a message from her was frankly unfair.

Eventually, around 3am, Alex clambered from under the covers - where she'd been far too hot anyway - and had fished around in the semi-darkness for her jeans.  
Fumbling through the denim, her fingers finally found the creased paper she'd been carrying: Piper's list.  
She still hadn't read it.  
She'd allowed herself to peel back the corner a few times, wanting to see Piper's writing, curious about the contents, but she'd been determined to wait until the time felt right.

There was no better time than 3am on a Sunday morning, she reasoned.

Clicking the bedside lamp on, Alex plumped the pillows behind her.  
Folded, on a single, lined sheet of A4 paper, Piper's list lay in her lap.  
The pen she'd written in had pressed through the page, and as Alex unfolded the document, she found the most carefully crafted cursive she'd ever encountered.

A disclaimer occupied the space of a title: "Not in order." Nothing else. No further explanation. Just the single simple statement. Alex wondered if that was somehow symbolic.

A Cormac McCarthy dystopia topped the list, which surprised Alex, before she caught herself. Piper was clearly a woman of hidden depths - she had already proven that this weekend.  
The book mentioned was so goddamn miserable; Alex had assumed that would be territory closer to her own heart than to Piper's, and she was keen to know why this had been the first novel to spring to Piper's mind.  
A British classic was in second place, and while Alex had never understood the merits of Austen, she knew that some people lived by her words.  
Some award-winning sociological non-fiction held third, and one of Alex's own favourites fell into fourth: a contemporary mystery set in a New England college. She'd have to high-five Piper for that one.

Shuffling down the mattress until only her head could be considered upright, Alex poured over the remainder of the list. Three autobiographies came in quick succession - all feminist, although only one could be classed as literary in nature - and two fantasy novels fell, before the list returned to the classics.

Alex ran her thumb over the words imprinted into the sheet, the letters abiding by the lines which ran like thin blue veins from one edge of the page to the next.  
All this exercise had really done was raise more questions and ask for more answers, but Alex had always been the curious kind.

She folded the paper back into its original quarters, and slid it into the drawer of her bedside cabinet.  
Her queries could wait until the sun had risen.

* * *

_Christ, Fig could talk._

It was 8:30am, and Nicky hadn't even had a coffee yet.  
It had taken her most of the morning to find her boots for work. Mysteriously, they'd been exactly where Alex had said they would be, but Nicky couldn't check there as a matter of principle until she'd upturned the rest of the house.  
As a consequence, she felt unsettled. Even more so as she saw Lorna in the front row.

The new driver's-ed instructor was chatting animatedly to the recently recruited music teacher Stella. The musician didn't seem to be too interested, but she was at least doing Morello the courtesy pretending to care.

Nicky, on the other hand, actually _did_ care.  
She toyed with the idea of approaching Morello after the briefing session was over, but didn't know what to say.  
" _How're you doing_?" was too cliche.  
" _Why did you leave so abruptly?_ " seemed a little, well, abrupt.  
Maybe it would be safer for her to stay in her seat instead. Although she wasn't worried about embarrassing herself, she didn't want to make Lorna feel awkward.

It was easier to ignore her poor impulse control than it was to ignore Alex's behaviour, however. Her housemate had been texting Piper as surreptitiously as she was capable of doing, phone trapped between the hard plastic chair and her thigh, throughout the meeting.  
It wasn't until Fig addressed her directly that it caused problems.

"Ms Vause, how did your department do last year?"  
Alex's head snapped up in response, eyebrow raised like a shield in combat.  
"What?"  
Natalie sighed from her perch on the stage. "What was your high grade percentage?"  
"Uh... " Alex paused, slipping her phone into her pocket and moving her hand in one swift motion to eye level, pushing her glasses back onto her head as she pretended to think. "52% high grades."  
"And what're we going to do this year?"  
"The same?" Alex queried.  
Nicky mimicked the sound of an incorrect quiz show answer beside her, and chuckled.

Fig clasped her hands together. "I think we can all strive for better, don't you? So let's see 70% high grades this year."  
Alex cleared her throat and raised her hand.  
It was with great reluctance that Fig returned her attention to the brunette, reaching a pointed finger out in her general direction. "Yes?"  
"Not all students are capable of achieving high grades though."  
Natalie smiled beatifically, as though she were some benevolent leader delivering a great speech to her people. Alex despised her for it.  
"And that is why we dedicate our time and effort to these students in particular. More standardised testing. Additional sessions. Lessons during lunch breaks. After school clubs. Extra homework."  
Alex shook her head. "That's extra work for us too, though. Then you have exhausted staff and a student body who feel like they're being flogged for something that's simply unrealistic. Surely we should be rewarding their achievement and - "  
"That's very negative thinking, Alex." Natalie interrupted. "Isn't it?"  
A few staff members around her nodded, and Alex was sure she heard Nicky's beau echo the sentiment - " _very_ negative" - from her place on the front row.

Balling her fists in her lap, she went to speak again before noticing the raised hand several rows ahead of her. _Who the fuck was that_?  
A blonde head bobbed into view, and Alex felt her stomach sink.

"Piper, go ahead. Share some positive thinking with us." Fig almost sounded grateful for the intervention, and despite it being unnecessary, Piper found that she had risen to her feet.  
She now stood before the entire staff body, and couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious as she heard a small outbreak of scornful laughter from nearby.

"Einstein said, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it's stupid."  
Fig seemed nonplussed, and it delighted Alex to see discomfort flicker behind her eyes for a moment before she regained control.  
"What's your point?"  
She seemed considerably colder than she had done before, and Alex wondered if Piper could feel the icy breeze of her disdain from where she was - inexplicably - standing.  
"The mudskipper fish is the only paraphyletic gill-bearing aquatic craniate of its kind that can climb a tree." There was a silence, and Piper cleared her throat self-consciously. "These girls _aren't_ incapable, they're just not as gifted - they're not mudskippers. I don't think we should be discounting these less-able young women." The blonde looked around, noting the expressions of approval on the faces of her colleagues.  
"I think challenge is a positive thing, and I'd like to work towards finding ways that benefit both students and teachers that help these lower-ability girls do better. Studies have proven that student-led study groups worked well in private education - maybe we can start there?"  
Fig seemed overjoyed.  
"Excellent Piper. With thinking like this, perhaps the 70% high grade target for English is just the beginning." She cast a pointed look in Alex's direction. "We should _all_ take these kind of ideas on board."

Piper was proud of herself; a strong opening gambit with which to impress her peers had just been delivered. She'd used her science words and everything.  
If E.L. James hadn't been such a terrible author, Piper maybe would've allowed her 'inner goddess' to do the merengue, or something equally ridiculous.  
Instead, she glanced over her shoulder at Alex, hoping to catch the eye of the woman who had consumed most of her recent waking hours. She wanted to share this moment with the most important person in the room.  
Rather than receiving a grin however, the woman's head was hanging, Nicky's mouth at her ear.  
Piper shook off the creeping nausea - _it was probably something completely unrelated_ \- and returned to her seat.

Alex felt undermined. At no point had she suggested that they abandon weaker students. She'd been cut off before even being able to finish her sentence.  
But Piper could start with a subversive declarative statement and still be celebrated. Her Einstein quote had been incorrectly attributed and also in direct opposition to Fig's proposal, but she'd been praised for it.  
It _wasn't_ Piper's fault. But this _was_ privilege, laid out before her, and it was something she'd spent years trying to combat. Exclusivity had no place in education.

Alex knew she was being immature, but it stung. She agreed to let herself roll around in her dissatisfaction until the end of the meeting before shaking it off.  
It was the start of a brand new academic year. No discriminating debutante would knock her off her game today.

* * *

Piper eyed the newcomers before her with optimism.  
Her class consisted of twenty young women in their early teens, each of whom had a spark she hoped could be fanned into flames by her inexhaustible passion for literature.

"Hello everyone." she began. "My name is Miss Chapman, and I'll be teaching you English for the next year."  
A girl near the front raised her hand. "Chapped Man?" A few of her classmates giggled.  
" _Chapman_. It's Miss Chapman."  
"Miss? Not married?" Another student inquired, and more laughter erupted, less contained this time.

Piper ruled this classroom, she reminded herself. This was her space. These were her students. They had to do as she said.  
"Let's stay on topic, shall we?" She intoned, brightly. "So, hands up. Who's heard of Robert Frost?"  
She was met with a stony silence.  
"Come on," she smiled, in spite of her wavering confidence. " _The Road Less Travelled_?"  
The recalcitrant group eyed her suspiciously.

Teaching was harder work than she remembered.

* * *

Piper had been sitting in the staff room for the duration of the lunch break, but Alex hadn't made a single appearance.

The blonde was growing restless, and nobody was sitting down near her for long enough to engage in conversation. She also needed the bathroom, but didn't want to miss what may have been her only opportunity to speak to her colleague since briefing, after which Alex had mysteriously disappeared.

Sliding her phone from her pocket, she thumbed through the message thread from that morning.  
There had been some simple phatic exchanges, but her favourite text had been sent at 8:27, midway through Fig's monologue about "raising standards":  _I couldn't stop thinking about you last night._ _X  
_ It made Piper blush to read it again, and she considered traversing the corridors in search of its author.

Glancing at the clock, she had eight minutes before the next lesson began, and her room was at least four minutes away from here.  
She was out of time.

Piper had been relying on the presence of Alex, Nicky or Red to keep her company. She wasn't incapable of making new friends, but she was daunted by the sea of faces she encountered, and everybody already seemed settled into their own cliques.  
The atmosphere of the room wasn't exactly welcoming, and while she could respect the insularity of each department, she'd hoped to feel a little less lonely on her first day of teaching at the school.

She'd have to find Alex after last lesson. Their classrooms shared an adjoining wall - surely it wouldn't be too difficult to track her down.

Heading for the staff toilets outside the door, she tapped out a hasty message to Alex:  _Where are you? x_  
Maybe she was avoiding her on purpose.  
But that was illogical.

Piper dismissed her heavy heart and stepped into the first empty cubicle.  
Today wasn't supposed to be like this. She's been so excited to see Alex again.  
She checked her phone for a final time, but Alex hadn't seen the message yet.  
 _Where was she?_

* * *

Alex spent her lunchtime sulking in the smoking area.

She'd already had to chase away a gaggle of idiotic Freshmen, who'd decided that smoking was a great way to piss off 'Daddy', which she'd hoped fervently was just an awful privileged colloquialism for a father figure, rather than the early uptake of a kink.  
She'd also encountered some particularly brave Seniors who had opted to bring their stash of cannabis onto school property with them.  
Alex had 'confiscated' it, although she had no intention of taking any action other than sharing it with Nicky later, a reward for a long and tiring first day back.

Red's colleague appeared after a short while, her own cigarette cocked between the first two fingers of her left hand.  
Neither woman openly acknowledged the other, both simply staring off across the sunlit playing fields before them.

"Your girl's looking for you." Gloria murmured disparagingly after almost a minute.  
Alex gave a hollow laugh, their shared smoke blurring the boundary of the horizon before her eyes. "She's not my girl."  
Gloria shrugged. "That's not what Red says."

"She's got some big ideas about education, that one." The home economics teacher continued. "You talked about that?"  
"We haven't really gotten into pedagogy yet." Alex muttered, a little bitterly.

She worked her ass off to ensure that her students got the best grades that they could. It had hurt when she had been dismissed by Fig as somebody willing to give up on those who didn't fit the mould.  
It wasn't the low-ability kids she had a problem with - it was the mould itself.

She was sick of being told to treat the C grade students like they were failing, when the only thing they were _failing_ to do was to live up to somebody else's unrealistic standards.

Alex had been one of those students. Granted, it had been due to poor attendance and a lack of interest in formal education, but if her teachers had continually told her she wasn't trying her hardest or doing her best, she would've walked away from learning long before she did.  
It was thanks to those teachers who appreciated her natural abilities that she stood where she was at that moment.

A wind picked up across the grass, sending leaves that were crisping at the edges tumbling across the open expanse before them.

Gloria shifted beside her, taking a final drag on her cigarette. "When you date another teacher, you gotta make sure you talk first." She stubbed out the remains of her smoke and tossed the butt into the trash. "Es un error, a empezar la casa por el tejado."

Alex watched the teacher's retreating back as she made her way towards the building. She could see her own classroom from where she stood, and checked the time on her phone. Nine minutes until third lesson.

_Time to go._

* * *

Piper found Alex in her empty classroom packing away her things at exactly 3pm, and hovered in the doorway for several seconds before Alex beckoned her in nonchalantly.

"You going out or coming in?"

The brunette kept her eyes dead ahead, hands buried in her bag as her gaze bored holes into the wood of her desk. She had hoped to avoid Piper for a little longer, still childishly cradling the sting from that morning, but her colleague had seemed so awkward that it was almost painful to see her stood there.

"Alex?" Piper's head was cocked to the side, an inquisitive puppy awaiting a response.  
"Yeah."  
"I haven't seen you all day."

Alex felt a wave of guilt wash over her then.  
She knew how daunted and anxious Piper must have been, and to have Alex purposefully avoid her - whether Piper recognised her absence for what it was, or not - was a terrible thing. It seemed like a lonely way to be, lost in an unfamiliar place and surrounded by people she couldn't yet call friends.  
Alex inwardly flinched as she recognised herself for the asshole she was.

"Shit, yeah. Sorry. I've been really busy."

She glanced up then, and found herself facing the same Piper who had entered her room during that first week.  
She seemed smaller, as though she had somehow folded up on herself.  
Alex watched the blonde self-consciously brush a lock of hair out of her eyes, distracted and staring out of the windows onto the open fields Alex had occupied hours earlier.

Piper was sure that there was a dissonance present between she and Alex that hadn't been there before.  
It was as though they existed in the same place, but couldn't make contact.  
Everything seemed abstracted and out of focus.  
Something had slipped, fallen, or broken, and Piper wasn't sure what it was or how to fix it.  
There was a sense of liminality to the whole situation that made her uneasy.

"Earth to Piper."  
The blonde blinked, slipping out of her reverie, her gaze swinging in Alex's direction and away from the empty landscape.  
"You okay?"  
"Mm-hmm." Piper paused. Should she address the elephant in the room? Perhaps she was the only one to feel it. "I'm just tired."  
Alex nodded her head doubtfully, but chose not to push. "Good first day?"

Piper perched on the desk facing Alex's, leaning back on her hands.  
Alex couldn't help but notice the curve of her thighs, the way the fabric of her outfit hugged her hips, and the way her long pale fingers curled around the edge of the table beneath her.

"Long. I forgot how tiring this job was."  
Alex laughed quietly, almost to herself. "Yeah, me too. It would be great if it wasn't for the students."  
They made eye contact then, and Piper felt her spirits lift a little.

"You got plans for Friday night?" Alex stacked some loose papers as she spoke, and Piper wondered if she was busying herself to deflect rejection.  
"I don't think so. You want to go out?"  
Alex slowed, but continued. "I thought you might like some food."  
Piper hummed approvingly. "Do you cook?"  
"Fuck no." Alex stopped her sorting then, dumping the pile onto her desk. "I mean, I _do_. But not for you, and not on Friday. I don't want to give you another excuse to be sick at ours."  
"So you'd like me to stay over?" Piper interjected swiftly, wanting to move from the humiliating recap of the previous weekend and onto Alex's rather more appealing implication of a night sharing her bed.  
"Someone's eager." The brunette remarked, smirking.

Piper felt herself blushing, but Alex had rounded the desk in the blink of an eye.  
She was inches away from Piper before the younger woman had any chance to register what was happening, and took a sharp intake of breath as she noted Alex's presence in front of her, the brunette's legs either side her own.

"How about we eat first, and then if you're still _hungry_ , you can come back to mine?"

Alex's eyebrow was raised, a cocky gesture that was both a challenge and shameless flirtation.  
Piper reached out, hooking her fingers through Alex's belt loops. Drawing her closer, Piper leaned in for a kiss, the warmth of Alex's mouth taking her back to those moments she'd been revisiting in her head on a continuous loop for the last twenty four hours - _the sofa, the bed, the shower, the sofa, the bed, the shower…_

"Okay." She pulled away just enough to let her words grace Alex's lips, the letters pressing themselves along the laughter lines of Alex's eyes as she smiled.  
"Okay." The brunette echoed, nodding, their noses bumping in time with each affirmation.

Her breathing a little more laboured than she'd realised, Alex took a step back.  
"So, see you tomorrow?"  
Piper nodded, evidently pleased with herself. "I'll be here from 8am."  
"I… Won't be. Even if Nicky can somehow find both of her shoes in the morning, I doubt she'll be ready at any time before you're here."  
Piper shrugged nonchalantly. It was out of character, a forced apathy to appear cool. "Whenever you get here."  
Alex chuckled. "Sure thing kid. Have a good night."

She slung her battered leather satchel across her shoulder as she strode to the door, thumb tapping out a rhythm on her phone screen as she walked the empty corridors to the parking lot, a simple sentence sent with a single swipe:  _I read your list. First question - why Cormac McCarthy? X_


	16. The Subtle Knife

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early post as I'm away this weekend.
> 
> I'm hoping to continue this for at least another four chapters, but I guess we'll see how it goes.
> 
> In the meantime, I'm working on a hella angsty Alex one-shot which should be out before October.
> 
> If you'd like more chapters here, or there's something you want to see in the future of the narrative, let me know. Thanks again for all the PMs and reviews - keep 'em coming.

 

While the week seemed to have passed by in a blur, Piper was painfully aware of precisely how many hours existed between Alex's proposition and Friday night itself.

She found herself settling into a comfortable routine during her working day - gentle mockery from Nicky and a soft good morning from Alex before first lesson, lunchtimes in their company (or with Red and her more mature colleagues if Nicky and Alex were otherwise occupied), and then a quiet catch-up on the day's events before they all went home on an evening.

Staff members were beginnings to greet her between lessons, and during her infrequent free periods, Piper had even gathered the courage to roam the corridors a little, wandering away from the relative safety of the English corridor.

On Tuesday, Piper found herself passing Boo's room, where the woman was holding court to a class of evidently intimidated students who seemed to be hanging on her every word.  
The pair met eyes, and Boo beckoned Piper in.  
She set the group a task, and met the blonde at the back of the room, arms wide, welcoming.

"How're you settling in?"  
"Fine, thank you." Piper smiled politely.

She still hadn't found a firm opinion of the woman, having overheard an assortment of curious anecdotes about her behaviour from Nicky, but she'd been pleasant enough to Piper.

"What're your classes like?"  
Boo shrugged, nonchalance issuing from her in waves. "Slow start so far. I'll have 'em whipped into shape soon enough."

The pair stood in silence for several seconds, surveying the room around them.  
Boo was the first to break their quiet contemplation, digging an elbow into Piper's elbow with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.  
"So, what's going on with you and Vause?"

Her voice was lowered, words barely audible, and Piper needed a second to process what she'd heard before she could form an answer.  
"Oh, I..." She floundered, unsure of how to respond.

_What was going on with she and Alex?_

For all intents and purposes, it appeared that Boo was watching her class work, but Piper could feel the woman's gaze on her in her peripheral vision, and did her best to summon some form of response from the murky, anxious depths of her subconscious.

Piper had shared Alex's bed.  
Friends did that, though. Nothing out of the ordinary there.  
But then, they'd had sex.  
Twice.  
Or was it three times?

Tallying heterosexual sex was much simpler, but the act itself was less interesting, Piper acknowledged.  
Whatever it was _exactly_ that Alex had shared had somehow felt so much more intimate than her previous exploits with men.

And what about Alex's earnest admittance of affection: " _I like you_ "?  
The bathroom-bound utterance bounced around her temporal lobe, and she found herself smiling.  
That statement definitely implies more than friendship, and Piper herself had echoed the sentiment.

Had she formed an answer then?  
 _No.  
_ But she was closer.

"Christ, you'd think I'd asked for the meaning of life." Boo muttered beside her. "But I guess that shit-eating grin on your face tells me everything I need to know."  
Piper glossed over Boo's inappropriate classroom language to tilt her head quizzically at the black-haired woman beside her.  
"I -"  
Boo held up a silencing hand, which was surprisingly effective. "Just tell Vause I've got her fifty when she wants it." She pushed herself away from the wall they'd been leaning on. "I've gotta hand it to her - I didn't think she'd pull it off."  
Piper was intrigued. "Pull _what_ off?"  
"Ask your girlfriend." Boo wore a wicked smile like a sharp suit, and began to move towards her desk at the front of the room. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a class to teach."

She raised a hand in farewell, and Piper took it as her queue to leave, brain buzzing with curiosity.

* * *

Alex heard her classroom door creak open before she saw it.  
Piper slipped her head through the gap, a shy smile beckoning Alex to the back of the room.

Piper had been happy to walk past the Alex's educational abode, until she realised that in spite of her budding excitement for the evening's plans, she didn't actually know where or when to meet Alex.  
Their plans had been made in the heat of the moment, and Piper wanted to confirm that it was even still happening.

Members of the class raised their heads from the reading task Alex had set them when Piper spoke, clearing her throat first to ease her apprehension, and failing.  
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but - "  
"No, it's fine." Alex stepped out from behind her desk, moving around to sit back on the surface. "Everything okay?"  
"Yeah, I just wanted..." Piper faltered. This probably wasn't the right time to be asking about their impending date.  
 _But_ , she did want plenty of time to get ready, and if she could go home straight after work without waiting for Alex to answer her questions… "Can we talk outside?"  
Nodding, Alex followed Piper out into the corridor, still in full view of the class, but out of earshot.

"Let me guess: 7pm, Pepe Rosso Social." Piper blushed self-consciously, struggling to hide her grin as Alex arched an all-too perfect eyebrow at her. "Am I close?"  
Piper couldn't contain her smile. "Thanks. I'll see you then."

Alex wanted to sweep the woman off her feet, but held her ground.  
She was at work.  
This was a school.  
She needed to be professional.

A group of giggling girls near the back corner of her classroom diverted Alex back to the here and now, and she stalked back into the room, weaving between the desks towards them.  
"What's the problem, ladies?"  
The girls in questions shook their heads and returned to their work, but Alex had only taken a few paces away before the laughter rose in volume from behind her once more.  
She turned on her heel, and was crouched down next to their desks before they could stop.  
"Either you tell me what's going on, or you get extra homework. So what's the issue?"

There were some sideways glances before one of them decided to snitch.  
"Katie says you're going on a date with Miss Chapman."  
Katie had the good grace to look scandalised, rolling her eyes with an expression of horror adorning her features. "I did _not_."  
" _And_ she said she's already seen you kissing in the classroom."

From the doorway, Piper emitted a sound somewhere between a laugh and a cough, a muffled _excuse me_ slipping from between the fingers she had clasped over her mouth.  
Alex looked over her shoulder, holding back a smirk as she caught Piper's eye.

Turning back to the group, Alex floundered internally for a second.  
 _Could they have been caught kissing?  
_ It was unlikely, but they _had_ kissed in this very room only five days prior.

"When were Miss Chapman and I supposedly kissing, might I ask?"  
Alex's tone had reached a dangerously low level, and everybody else in the class had now completely stopped working to watch the salacious moment unfold, straining their ears and learning surreptitiously closer in their seats.

Alex held Katie in her disparaging gaze, moving closer as the girl mumbled something under her breath.  
"Once more with feeling, Katie?"  
Katie looked up from the book she had buried her face in, red with embarrassment.  
"My cousin's friend said she saw you in here, on Monday after school."  
"Huh." Alex rose to her full height, and began to take long, slow steps towards to front of the class, fully aware that she had the attention of the room. "That's weird, 'cause I saw _your cousin's friend_ spreading bullshit about things that don't involve her..." There was a sudden gasp of surprise as Alex's casual cursing washed over the class. For effect, Alex checked a watch she wasn't wearing, and idly flicked a few pages of her tiny desktop calendar, as though seeking out a specific event. "... Also _last Monday_ , after school."

Nervous laughter filtered through the room, and Alex crossed her arms in front of her, a worn defensive gesture.  
"Raise your hand if you think my romantic endeavours are any of your business."  
The students played it safe: silent and still.

" _Okay_. Now raise your hand if you think Miss Chapman's love life is any of your business."  
Piper wasn't expecting to be addressed, and had been so wrapped up in watching Alex work, she'd momentarily forgotten that the idle gossip could endanger them before they'd even started. She straightened her posture and stared out impassively at the sea of faces turned towards her.

Following the second question, the quiet continued, and Alex allowed herself a small smile.  
"I thought as much. Back to work."

Her students slipped back into a quiet hum of activity, and Alex returned to Piper, a wry grin on her lips.  
They lingered for a moment where they stood, and Piper lifted her hand, almost touching Alex's arm before stopping herself short.  
"I like your shirt."  
Alex gave a single slow nod, lips together and upturned at the corners. "Thank you."  
Piper took a deep breath. She wanted to kiss Alex so badly.  
From her peripheral vision, she could see several students watching them covertly over their textbooks, and knew she couldn't risk the gamble.  
"I need to go." She had to force the words out - the utterance was so opposed to how she truly felt - fingers curling into loose fists at her sides.  
"Pressing matters?" Alex teased, eyes crinkling with mirth.  
"Yes. I have to..." Piper fished around for an excuse. Noting the giggling girls again, she found inspiration, raising her voice to ensure that the entire room heard her as she stepped clear of the door. "I have to text my boyfriend about dinner tonight."  
Alex raised an eyebrow. "Then I'd better let you go. I've heard he can be _quite_ demanding."  
Piper smothered a laugh, covering her mouth for a moment before she raised her voice for a second time. "Miss Vause."  
"Miss Chapman."

She approached her own classroom next door, but paused at the entrance as a thought returned to her. "Boo said something about having your _fifty_?"  
"My fifty?" Alex seemed nonplussed, hand on the doorframe as she'd followed Piper out of the room, but she paused in place. Blanching suddenly, she exhaled. "Oh. Yeah, that. I'll find her. Thanks."  
Piper took a second to assess the situation, but decided better of delving any deeper.  
The class had already suffered enough distractions for one session.

* * *

"Will you be out all night?"  
Piper twisted inside the top she was struggling to fasten, doing her best to tug at the zip while also maintaining eye contact with her roommate. "What?"  
"I said," Polly strode over from her idle leaning against the wardrobe, taking the fastening from Piper's grasping fingers and and zipping it up in one swift motion. "Will you be out all night? Are you staying at _hers_?"

Piper sat down on the end of her bed and Polly followed suit, her patience beginning to fray as Piper slipped her feet into a pair of high heels, occupying herself with actions rather than responding with words.  
"Well?"

Piper wasn't ignoring Polly, she was simply choosing her answer carefully.  
She wasn't sure if she'd be staying at Alex's, as although an invitation to do so had been discussed, she hadn't _really_ had confirmation that it was an option, and she wanted to be certain.

If she said 'yes', and yet Polly heard her creeping home at 3am, her roommate would assume things hadn't worked out, and would forever hold Alex responsible for the perceived slight.  
 _But_ , if she said 'no' and then did stay out, she'd be faced with a barrage of questions the next day, and would have to tolerate the facial expression that Polly reserved specifically for the times she felt Piper had let her down.  
In summary: she really needed a new roommate.

Opting for the middle ground - unsatisfactory, yet the only remaining option - Piper shrugged.  
"What, you don't know?"  
"I haven't really planned it." Piper pretended to be indifferent, as though this spontaneity was all part of the plan. "I feel like doing whatever feels _right_ is the best thing to do. Like, following my instincts, you know?"  
Polly seemed unconvinced. "You _hate_ surprises. When we snuck into the cinema as kids, you read the book of the movie first so you wouldn't be scared."  
"Well," the blonde pressed on, doing her best to appear full of conviction. "Sometimes a change is good."  
"Is that why you're sleeping with women now?" Polly's eyebrow was arched, but she wasn't looking at Piper, her gaze settling somewhere across Piper's towering bookshelf instead, as though she couldn't bring herself to face the question.  
" _Woman_. Singular. And, no." Piper rose to her feet, collecting her bag from the vanity. "I slept with Alex because I'm attracted to her. And if I sleep with her again later, that will also be good. If I don't, then... That's fine too."

She checked the time on her phone, and began to call for a taxi. "Honestly, if I end up coming home, I think I'd be glad. It's been a _long_ week. I could do with a proper night's sleep."  
Polly followed her out into the hallway, the soft padding of her slippers an echo to Piper's heels hitting the wooden floorboards.  
"Whatever you do, wherever you end up," She placed her palm on Piper's shoulder as she gathered up her jacket. "Don't forget that we have coffee tomorrow at 11am. And be _safe_."

They kissed one another's cheeks and parted ways, Piper taking the stairs down to the lobby two at a time in her burgeoning excitement.  
 _Safe was the last thing on her mind._

* * *

Alex was becoming restless, peering out of the car's condensation-fugged windows in any direction she could.

"You think she's gonna put out again?"  
Alex turned to face Nicky, risking whiplash as she did. "Hey, what did I say before?"  
" _Be nice about her, she's a nice girl_ , yeah, yeah, I get it..." Nicky smirked, turning down the radio.

Alex rubbed the cuff of her jacket against the window for what felt like the millionth time. Moisture gathered in the fabric as she returned her hands to her knees, waiting anxiously, fiddling with the seam of her jeans.

"You okay? You seem antsy as fuck." There was a note of concern in Nicky's voice that lined the inquiry. "You remind me of me in the nineties."  
"I'm fine. I just want tonight to go well." Alex didn't appreciate the analogy, but recognised that she did feel more nervous about this impending date than she usually would. "You can go, you know." She mumbled, fishing her phone from her pocket. She was still five minutes early, and they had already been sat here for a quarter of an hour.  
"I can't leave, 'cause you're still in the car. If I leave, I'll just be taking you home with me." Nicky shrugged. "Besides, I can't bear witness to the seldom-seen anxious Alex if you get out."  
Alex laughed a little. "That's true."

A familiar blonde slipped out of a taxi on the opposite side of the street, and stood waiting for a space in the traffic to cross the road towards their parked car.  
Nicky elbowed her housemate with abandon, eagerness leading to likely bruises.  
"Hey, over there."  
She gestured with a tilt of the head, and as soon Alex saw her colleague through Nicky's window, her hand was on the door handle.  
"See you later."

Within seconds, she was out on the street, rain dashing down against her head.

Nicky, now alone in the car, twisted the volume knob on the radio, music filling the almost empty vehicle as the turned the key.  
Dropping her voice to a level much deeper than normal, she muttered to the passenger seat beside her. " _Hey, thanks for the ride_."  
Returning to her normal tone, she raised her eyes back to the road. "Hey, it's no bother, really Alex. I mean, what're friends for?"

* * *

They were seated in the back corner near the kitchen, and had each already finished a glass of red wine by the time the food arrived.

Meaningless phatic chatter had turned quickly to talk of teaching as they recapped their first week back in education, which had only been encapsulated in a few brief texts each night. Both women seemed to have made an unspoken deal to not overdo the texting, in favour of saving the conversation for their Friday evening.

However, as a large plate of cannelloni was placed before Piper and Alex received her rigatoni, a silence fell between the pair.

Piper watched Alex with fascination as the brunette scooped a forkful of pasta into her mouth. She closed her eyes for a moment, cutlery still hanging in midair.  
After several seconds, Alex gave an almost imperceptible nod, and set her fork back down against the bowl, smiling.

"How's your cannelloni?"  
Piper beamed. "I haven't had any yet. How's your rigatoni?"  
"It's good. You want some?"  
Piper shook her head, regarding Alex curiously. "You seemed to have a moment with your food just then."

Alex prodded her pasta tentatively, opening her mouth to speak before closing it again unceremoniously. She glanced around the restaurant and took a sip of her wine.

Seconds passed, and Piper began to feel increasingly uncomfortable.  
She wondered if she'd crossed some unspoken boundary, and imagined the evening ending approximately sixty seconds from that point, as Alex would toss her napkin down on the table along with with any fondness she'd had for Piper, turning on her heel and walking out into the rain.

Instead, Alex cleared her throat.

"My mom used to make Italian food for me when I'd stay with her." She murmured, glancing up to make eye contact before returning to stare at her dish.  
"Oh!" Piper could understand food-associated memories, and blundered blithely on. "Does she not cook for you anymore?"  
"Actually," Alex cleared her throat. "She died last year."

She took another forkful of pasta, forcing it into her mouth and chewing, hoping to distract anybody paying attention from the tears pricking at her eyes.  
She thought about her mom every goddamn day, and would never want to quash the occasionally overwhelming sensation of having lost someone so vital to her very being, but sometimes the imitation of control she had over her emotions slipped out of her grasp.

Like in a restaurant, with a girl she wanted to impress, who she should have been charming with her wit rather than weeping into her rigatoni.

"Alex, I'm so sorry. I had no idea."  
Piper's words made their way past Alex's overzealous pasta chewing, shuddering breaths and heaving shoulders.  
Swallowing hard, Alex shook her head. "Please don't." She had no time for sympathy. "Unless _you_ killed her - " at Piper's stricken expression, Alex laughed a little, raising a hand in surrender. "I don't want your apologies. It's not anybody's fault, nothing could be done, and I'm sick of hearing people say they're sorry."

Her voice had raised in volume towards the end of the dialogue, and there was a momentary hush in the restaurant before the noise returned to its previous din.

Spearing some more food on her fork, Alex lowered her head. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell like that. I just..."  
"You miss her."  
Alex glanced up then, catching Piper's eyes properly for the first time in several minutes. "Yeah."  
Piper nodded slowly. "I understand."

Sighing, Alex set down her cutlery, and reached across the table to take Piper's hand in hers. Considering the fingers she had intertwined with her own, she smiled a little.  
"Was this how you imagined our first date?"  
Tongue firmly lodged in her cheek, Piper shrugged nonchalantly. "Actually, I imagined _more_ crying."  
Alex laughed. "Yeah, well, night's still young."


	17. The Tempest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for not posting sooner. It wasn't that I forgot about this story- I really wanted to get back to it - but more that life got in the way, as it seems to with all multi-chaps.  
> Many thanks for the reviews and PMs, particularly those seeking to chivvy me along. Special shout out to the one bro who simply messaged me with "What, are you dead?"  
> I think I may have to push posting back to once a month now, but I'll post every two weeks when I can.
> 
> (Further apologies for the fact that nothing really happens in this chapter, aside from a little exposition.)

 

Almost two hours passed in the restaurant, and Alex couldn't recall a time in recent weeks when she'd felt more content than she did in Piper's company.

They had shared dessert, fighting over the tiramisu, Alex using her spoon to knock Piper's carefully prepared mouthful back into the bowl just as she'd finished scooping it up.

They split the bill equally, and stepped out into the evening rain.

Piper felt Alex's knuckles brush hers as they took shelter in the doorway of the Italian, and she reached out for the brunette's hand, intertwining their fingers.  
Alex's attention jerked suddenly from the rain-flecked pavement at their feet to the warmth of Piper's palm, and she smiled.  
It was a smile that Piper wanted to witness again and again, and she was determined find more ways to be the cause of it.

"Where to now?"  
Alex shrugged, turning to face her colleague. "There's a bar off Lafayette called DeMarco's. Might run into some of the crowd from work, but it's normally pretty quiet."  
Piper nodded. "I'll be happy to go anywhere out this weather."  
Alex squeezed her hand and gazed out at the street again, as though seeking the right time to leave their shelter. "You think this'll become a storm?"  
"I hope so." Piper's voice was quiet. "I love storms."  
Alex grinned. "Me too, kid."

Tentatively, Alex edged the toe of her boot from under the awning, and felt the droplets hammer against the leather. They had no choice but to leave; the waiters in the restaurant had been nice, but she wasn't sure how long they'd tolerate two women clogging the entrance to their establishment.

"Okay, ready?" Alex leaned forwards, a runner ready for the sprint, eyebrow raised in challenge to her competitor.  
Piper seemed dubious. "Can you pretend my hair still looks perfect when we get to DeMarco's?"  
"I won't have to pretend." Alex planted a small kiss on Piper's cheek, and the blonde blushed.  
"Sweet talker." Piper tightened her grip. "Let's go."

Giggling as the rain hit the back of her neck, she launched herself out into the night.

* * *

Five minutes later, breathless with laughter, the two women stumbled into the bar.  
Alex was certain that she had more water inside her boots than outside, socks soaked and jeans clinging to her legs.  
As she bent over to loosen her laces, she caught Piper's eyes on her ass.

"Hey," she straightened up and turned to face the perpetrator. "My tits are up here."  
Piper blushed, a guilty smile lifting the corners of her lips. "Sorry."  
Shrugging her jacket from her shoulders, Alex nudged her with an elbow. "Don't be. I'll give you a better look later."

Piper could feel her cheeks turning crimson, and followed Alex to the bar, doing her best not to notice the way Alex's hips swayed from side to side with each step she took.

"Drink?"  
"I'll get it." Piper fumbled awkwardly with her purse, but Alex laid a soft hand over hers.  
"Let me get this one."  
"Oh. Okay." She glanced up at the bottles, presented in perfect parallel lines behind the bartender. "Can I get a white wine, please?"  
The server reeled off a list of wines that Piper would have been familiar with had she been paying attention, but her focus was fractured, recalling Alex's comment about encountering colleagues where they were.  
She chose a brand at random and received a chilled glass, rippling with condensation.

Glancing around the bar, Piper didn't immediately see anybody she recognised. It was still early for drinking in the city - most events wouldn't start until 10pm - but she erred on the side of caution, just in case.  
Alex's voiced urged slipped through her surveillance, lips soft against Piper's ear. "There's a free booth in the back corner."  
Piper felt a warm palm tap her ass, and she caught Alex's smirk from the corner of their eye as they reached their seats.

"Have you been here before?" Piper queried, sliding along the bench until her arm was against Alex's. They were sat squarely in the centre of a five-person space, but Piper found she didn't care. As long as she was within easy reaching distance of Alex, she was happy.  
"I used to come here pretty often, yeah. Before I became a teacher, back in the good old days." Alex joked. "Most of the time now, I don't even remember what it's like to have a weekend."

Piper realised that she knew very little of Alex's life before their meeting. Any anecdotes she'd heard had either been from the very distant past, or it had been some wild anecdote about a misdemeanor Nicky had committed and Alex had cleaned up after.

"What did you do before teaching?"  
Alex laughed self-consciously and ran her thumbnail across the damp label on her beer bottle. "I was in _sales_."  
"What, like retail?" Piper was nonplussed by the lack of detail to Alex's answer. It seemed uncharacteristic of her to not be forthcoming, especially in response to such a menial question.  
Maybe Alex was embarrassed about her job, and she didn't want to admit to being a shelf stacker, or something she deemed equally disappointing.  
Piper decided to help.  
"I worked in a store on my college campus for a while. Selling hoodies and shirts with the college logo on it. I did stock takes and everything."  
"Sounds great."   
Piper couldn't tell if Alex was being sarcastic or not, and pressed on blithely. "Was your job in sales like that?"

Alex sighed.  
She liked Piper a great deal. She was very attracted to her, and had lost sleep over the mere idea of being able to spend the evening with her again.  
But did she want to be this honest on their first real date?  
She caught Piper's eye involuntarily, and knew she'd find it hard to prevaricate for much longer. She'd seen, from brief glimpses on her way past Piper's classroom, that Piper didn't give up easily. When she wanted an answer from someone, she was tenacious.  
Perhaps she might have made a better lawyer than an educator.  
Still, there was no time like the present.

"Yeah, uh… No. My job in sales wasn't much like that."  
"Oh?"  
There was something about the inquisitive way in which Piper cocked her head to one side that made Alex die - just a little - inside. She was so fucking wholesome, and so goddamn nice. Goodness positively reeked from her, and although she definitely had a few secrets of her own to tell, Alex wasn't sure how Piper would feel about hers.

"I..." For the second time that night, Alex hesitated. She cleared her throat, and twisted in her seat to look Piper in the eye. "I worked for an international drug cartel."  
Piper swallowed, and Alex watched the delicate muscles of her throat shift almost imperceptibly under her skin.  
"Oh."  
"It wasn't exactly my proudest moment."

The blonde nodded slowly in the face on this revelation, and Alex awaited the inevitable moment she'd decide she was in the wrong place, and flee.  
Instead, Piper leaned in. " _Why_?"  
Alex was perplexed. "Why what?"  
"Why did you work for the drug cartel?"  
Alex smiled uneasily, doing a poor job of pretending to be comfortable with Piper's line of questioning. "What, you want to know my motivations?"  
Piper took a long, steadying drink from her glass. "I want to know _everything_."

* * *

Alex was rounding up the details of her story - which had been longer than she'd expected, accidentally spilling over the thirty minute mark - when Piper's final follow-up question came.  
"Is that how you met Nicky?"  
"Uh, that's probably a story for Nicky to tell. She's got her own shitty backstory, y'know?"  
"Not even going to tell me a little bit?"  
Alex relented, laughing. "You're persistent."

Mind awhirl, Alex wondered if there might be a darker side to Piper that she was yet to discover. The blonde hadn't turned tail yet - perhaps there was a part of her that relished this risk Alex brought to their relationship, if that's what it was.  
Any partnership was a relationship, Alex mused, but this deserved greater significance, surely.

Piper gave a beguiling smile, and Alex couldn't help but give a little more away. "We were in the same circles, had some of the same friends."  
"You mean, your _clients_ were her friends?" Piper pushed, existing knowledge of Nicky giving her the grounds to do so, and Alex continued in spite of her reservations.  
"I already had the teaching qualification. No college-level qualifications or any of that shit, but I'd taken night classes in TEFL, and Fig seemed to like that I'd travelled and taught English in other countries. I'm hardly her least orthodox employee." She drained the last of her beer. "Fig needed teachers for her pet project, I needed a job, and Nicky needed a flatmate. Nicky's mom made a deal with her - if Nicky changed her ways, Mrs Nichols would put in a good word for both of us at the school. She was one of the biggest donors to Fig's shit, so she had a lot of pull."  
"When you say Nicky had to _change her ways_..."  
Alex shook her head and pushed her bottle away. "Like I said, that's Nicky's story to tell."

Piper sat back in her seat, seemingly satisfied.  
"Anything else, Nancy Drew?" Alex smirked.  
"I still have more questions. But they can wait." The blonde grinned, then nodded at their collectively empty drinking vessels. "You want another?"  
Alex eyed the time on her phone. "We could, _or_..."  
Piper arched her eyebrow inquisitively. "Or?"  
"Or we could _not_."

The warmth Piper was feeling from the wine began to spread from her neck and chest, where it had happily manifested, creeping lower until it settled in the pit of her stomach, nervous excitement like a coiled snake.  
"And where would you propose we go instead?"  
"How about back to mine?"  
Piper felt her heart leap into her mouth.  
The implication was galvanising, and although this wouldn't be their first time together, she was still nervous.  
"Okay."  
"Okay?"  
"Yeah. Let's go."

Alex paused; she'd hoped for a greater response than Piper's two-syllable affirmative."You sure you want to do this?"  
Piper nodded, chewing her lip. "I _really_ do, but I also don't want to give away how excited I am. Can we go?"  
There was something so oddly charming about her response, Alex couldn't help but grin.  
"I'll forget you said anything then. Ready?"  
" _So_ ready."

Piper felt a chill climb her spine as she envisaged Alex's pale body in the moonlight, back arching towards her, moans slipping from her lips with the kind of wanton abandon she had dreamed of evoking each and every day since the last time they had shared a bed.

Checking the room for colleagues once more, Piper held her hand out to Alex. The brunette occupied the gaps between Piper's fingers with her own, and they were almost out of the exit before a familiar voice called them back.

_"Hey Vause, looks like that bet paid off after all."_


	18. Henceforward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One month later, and here's chapter 18. Cheeky references to other fics I've written hidden in here for the craic.  
> I do think updates will have to take place on a monthly basis now, which sucks, but life happens.  
> Keep it coming with the PMs and reviews - it's all appreciated. I'll reply to reviews after the next chapter.

 

_"Hey Vause, looks like that bet paid off after all."_

Alex was frozen to the spot. _Shit_.  
She could have - or maybe even _should_ _have_ \- anticipated Boo's arrival in the bar, but had assumed that they must have been too early for her, and had counted herself lucky on that merit.  
Alex's usually exceptional _fight or flight_ response seemed to have deteriorated into a _stand and stare_ reaction rather than anything useful.  
Should she come clean and face the consequences, or brush it - and Boo - off?

"You told your girl about our _deal_?" Boo continued, smirking, eyebrow crooked skyward in challenge.

* * *

_"Chapman was a bicurious college girl, at best." Boo murmured, skeptically._   
_Alex rose from her seat, closing in on Boo, beer bottle cradled in her right hand as she extended her left towards the woman leaning against the doorframe. "Fifty says you're wrong."_   
_Boo was evidently taken aback by the bet, but compensated with a filthy laugh and a forthright handshake, sealing the deal. "You're on, Vause. Let's hope you know something I don't, for your sake."_

* * *

Piper looked uncertainly from one colleague to the other, noting Alex's uncharacteristic hesitation, the tapping of her heel against the wooden floor in syncopation alongside the dripping of the rain from Boo's heavy overcoat.  
The latter wore a Cheshire cat grin, the corners of her mouth curling upwards at an angle that set Piper's teeth on edge.

" _Alex_?"  
Her own voice sounded small, and the music around her seemed to grow in volume. She wouldn't have been surprised if neither participant in the stand-off replied, so minor was she in the grand scheme of this spaghetti Western scenario.  
This perplexing slight would have so much easier to ignore if Alex hadn't taken such a long time to respond to Boo's remark.

Minutes must have passed, and yet somehow she _still_ hadn't said anything.  
In all their many hour together - which Piper acknowledged wasn't _many_ \- Piper had never seen Alex speechless before.

Finally, the ice broke.  
"You're an asshole." Alex asserted, stepping forward and placing her hand in the small of Piper's back.  
The warmth from her palm threaded through the thin fabric of Piper's jacket, and she leaned in to the gesture, seeking some sort of comfort amongst the confusion of this conversation.  
"Takes one to know one, high roller."

The way Alex's jaw was working seemed to indicate that she had something else to share, but instead she stayed silent, shoulders squared.  
Eyes still dead ahead, her voice dropped to a level only Piper could hear.  
"Let's go, kid. I'm done here."

Piper could smell the beer on the brunette's breath, and felt the heat ghost over her face.  
She wanted answers - maybe even deserved them. Boo had seemed pretty intent on keeping her involved in the interaction, and she couldn't help but feel that something was being kept from her.

Nodding, Piper stepped aside, letting Alex take her hand and the lead, all at once.  
Boo let them go, no further words sent flying their way, but as Piper cast a hesitant glance over her shoulder, she saw her colleague raise an eyebrow at her.

She would get to the bottom of this.

The opportunity arose before she had anticipated it would.  
Out on the pavement, no longer under threat from the rain but clinging to one another for warmth, Piper felt the nerves in Alex's body: the tension in her posture, the rigid way she stood, aiming for casual but falling far short, was a dead giveaway.  
As they stood in the cold evening air - rain free but chilly with damp - waiting for their taxi to arrive, Piper decided to attempt a polite line of inquiry.

"What was all that about?"  
Alex shifted uncomfortably. "Boo's a bitch."  
"Mm-hmm." Piper let the silence settle before trying again. "Why is that?"  
Alex still wasn't making any form of eye-contact, but she was decent enough not to ignore the question. "Something about her history, I guess."  
"Yeah… But, back in the bar, that was weird, right? Talking about some bet or something."  
Piper trailed off, hoping that Alex might feel inclined to fill the silence.  
 _No such luck._

Just as she was about to pursue a less tactful line of questioning, their taxi pulled up to the curb.  
Alex pulled open the rear passenger door closest to them, and gestured for Piper to climb in.  
As she slammed the door and headed to the other side of the vehicle, she felt the creeping in of her guilty conscience.  
She should have said something, she knew. Piper deserved some sort of explanation.  
But not now. They had a date to salvage first.

* * *

Nicky paused the video she'd been watching and leaned back as far as her seat would allow her, determined to figure out who had just walked in through the front door.  
It seemed quiet. _Had Alex struck out?_

Soft voices slunk through the still air towards Nicky's waiting ears.  
"You want a drink?"  
A pause. Hesitation. Then, "That would be great. Thanks."  
Footsteps made their way down the corridor in Nicky's direction, and she did her best version of disinterested as her housemate strode in through the doorway, Piper in tow.

"Honey, you're home." Nicky teased.  
"Sorry Nick. We interrupting your weekly porn marathon?"  
Nicky pretended to be shocked, but adjusted the angle of her laptop screen all the same.

"We would've been out longer, but we ran into Boo. Didn't want to hang around." Alex's comment was loaded, and Nicky knew not to push for more until later.  
"I'd put money on her being drunk already." Nicky nodded.  
"I think the odds were in your favour. Not sure you'd get a great return."

Alex reached up into the cupboard above the sink, pulling down a stack of shot glasses.  
Nicky noted the shadow of a scowl crossing her features, but the light she found in Piper wiped it clean as the brunette addressed her, some semblance of a grin taking its place.

"Whisky okay?"  
Piper nodded. "Sure."

Tension hung in the air, although Nicky couldn't fathom why.  
Alex and Piper were still speaking, and although the former seemed a little left of centre, she'd managed to get Piper back to the house. _It can't all have been bad_.

"Hey, can I get one too?" Nicky chimed in, ever uncomfortable in silence.  
Alex was ready with a pointed retort, but thought better of it.  
If she could keep Nicky around a little longer to ease the residual tension from their earlier, halting encounter, perhaps it would be for the best.

Alex filled three glasses and set them down on the large wooden table where Nicky was seated.  
Piper had been lingering in the doorway, but returned to her seat from the previous weekend, at a forty-five degree angle on the corner to Alex's usual stool.  
There was still a red mark where Nicky had "accidentally" flung a tomato from her plate in Alex's direction, and Piper occupied herself by picking at the stain with her thumbnail.

She should have gone home.

The flirtation that had been so present between she and Alex before had all but fizzled out, and she couldn't shake that haunted look that hung behind Alex's eyes each time she smiled at her.  
The taxi ride home had seemed stilted and sullen, all but for a few lame conversation starters they'd each attempted to bridge the gap.

There was definitely some sort of dissonance present.  
Boo's words had clearly shaken Alex, but why?  
Piper figured she'd have one final attempt at rekindling the night before saying her goodbyes. It was now or never.

Nicky swung nimbly into master of ceremonies mode as she'd watched her mother do so many times, raising her thimbleful of alcohol for a toast.  
"To old friends, and great lays."

Alex felt a warm hand coil around her own beneath the table, and although Piper was raising her glass rather than looking her way, the gesture gave her comfort.  
All was not yet lost.

They drained their glasses in unison.  
Piper flinched from the burn, and suddenly, any semblance of a disconnection was lost; Alex wasn't able to immerse herself in melancholy when Piper screwed her face up like that.  
"Oh my _god_." Piper coughed, disbelief and disgust mingling in her expression. Alex and Nicky couldn't help but laugh. "Why do people drink that?"  
"What, that your first whisky?"  
"No! Or _maybe_? I think I'd remember not to put something like that in my mouth again."  
"I've heard _that_ before." Nicky nodded sagely.

Alex released Piper's hand and ran her hand through Piper's hair instead, smoothing it out of her eyes. "You're cute when you're annoyed."  
"This isn't annoyance, this is regret. Jesus, I can still taste it."

Nicky passed a cup of water over the table to her. "It's the gift that keeps on giving. Want some wine instead?"  
"Please."  
"Any preference?"  
"Anything that'll get rid of the whisky."

Nicky turned away from the table, rummaging through cupboards and wine racks until she produced a bottle she seemed happy with, pouring Piper a large serving after sourcing a suitable glass.  
"I can tell you what _will_ get rid of the whisky."  
Alex preempted Nicky's next venture firmly: "No."  
"Let the lady choose." Her housemate challenged, gesturing in Piper's general direction.

Piper was now certain that she had spent the bulk of the evening in an almost permanent state of bemusement, but she enquired anyway. "What am I choosing?"  
The brunette opened her mouth to speak, but Nicky intervened. "How do you feel," she cast a warning glance in Alex's direction. "About drinking games?"  
Piper's face brightened. "I haven't played a drinking game since college."  
"Great!"  
" _Infantile_."  
"Is it though?" Piper twisted in her seat to face a surprised Alex, who hadn't expected a counter-argument, not that she'd provided a particularly eloquent case herself. "A series of semi-public explorations into what makes slightly intoxicated acquaintances tick is ' _infantile_ '?"  
Alex again performed an exemplary impression of a fish out of water, drowning on dry land as she readied herself to speak words that weren't there, but Nicky wasn't interested in waiting.  
"The lady wants what the lady wants! Truth or dare?"  
Piper grinned. "Yes."

"You in or out Stretch?"  
Alex sighed, pushing her glasses up into her hair, perching them just above the lines of her forehead, creased from years of agreeing to _shit like this_. "Fine, I'm in."

As her housemate and colleague high-fived one another across the broad expanse of their kitchen table, Alex slipped from her seat and tugged open the fridge, clinking bottles greeting her distaste.  
It wasn't that she disliked drinking games _per se_ , but more that she disliked playing them with potential objects of affection so soon into their adventure. More specifically, she was a little anxious about what Piper might find out.

There had already been enough information shared tonight, and Alex was only just beginning to notice how little Piper had shared about herself in return.  
Perhaps this was an opportunity to capitalise upon after all.

Returning to the table with two beers - one for herself and one for Nicky - Alex grinned in spite of her reservations, and raised an eyebrow at Piper. The blonde blushed a little and took a large sip of wine in response.  
They'd already had several drinks earlier when out, so Alex could only imagine how buzzed the young woman must be beginning to feel.  
"Ready?"  
"I am. Are _you_?"  
Nicky rolled her eyes. "Can we just fuckin' play, please?"

* * *

Piper was learning a great deal about her colleagues.

It transpired that Nicky was an avid origami fan, had participated in at least one threesome - although she wouldn't name those involved - and had cultivated a serious heroin habit before becoming a teacher, which satisfied Piper's earlier curiosity about how she and Alex had met.

Alex, meanwhile, had visited a kink club in Amsterdam, although Nicky had made it fairly clear that she was lining Alex up for exactly that answer when she asked the leading question. She'd also eaten an entire chili pepper, and looked a little worse for wear because of it.

Piper had done her best to be recalcitrant, giving a little away but never quite enough to incriminate herself. She didn't want to be some sort of enigma, but she certainly wasn't ready for all of her secrets to be spilled.  
It was almost merciful - although she hated herself for thinking this way - that Nicky's memory was so patchy; Piper was sure that something shameful from their debutante days must be buried deep in that brain of hers.

The game swerved around in her direction once more, and although intoxicated, Piper felt a strong pull in a self-indulgent direction.  
Alex was making the kind of eye contact with her that indicated she'd rather they both be beneath the table instead of sat around it, and Piper was inclined to agree.  
But first, she had a challenge to meet.

"Piper." Nicky's voice was fuzzy, and Piper couldn't tell if that was due to her own drunkenness or Nicky's.  
Regardless, she replied, leaning in. "Nicky." She acknowledged, reaching across the surface to pat her friend's hand.  
Alex snorted behind them. "You guys are _fucked_."  
"Sshh," Piper hushed her, leaning even further forward.  
Nicky mirrored her movements, standing up on the footrest of her stool to reach over. "Yeah Vause, simmer down."  
She winked conspiratorially to Piper and lowered her voice, aiming for a surreptitious tone but landing closer to a stage whisper instead. "Truth or dare, blondie?"  
Piper weighed her options, acknowledging Nicky's predilection for mischief, and recalling Alex's watering eyes from the previous capsicum caper. "Truth."  
Releasing the blonde's hand and sitting back, Nicky nodded seriously.

Piper placed both hands palm down in front of her, momentarily marvelling at the splay of her fingers on the surface before Nicky's words brought her back.

"Did you fuck my friend?"  
Piper gave a look of mock horror at the other two women in the room before responding. "Which one?"  
Nicky was beside herself with laughter in seconds, clutching at her sides, and Piper herself giggled at her own joke.

Alex had the privilege of watching her friends fall apart, alcohol urging their hilarity far past the realms of reason.  
She smiled fondly, but the inky blackness burrowing at the back of her mind pondered the possibility of Piper having slept with another of Nicky's friends, a pang of jealousy snaking inside her skull.  
 _Surely not,_ she reassured herself. _Doubtful they'd travel in any of the same circles outside of work_.  
But there was always Stella.  
Alex could recall with a startling clarity the way that Piper had laboured over the Australian's tattoos, the way the music teacher had touched her shoulder...

Taking a deep breath, Alex shook her head clear of the intrusive thought.  
Piper was here with _her_. That was the only thing that mattered.

"Alex. _The hot one_. Ruthless pragmatist? She's near your nine pm. Or is it your three pm? I don't know numbers."  
"Or clocks, apparently." Alex muttered, sardonically.  
Piper turned to her fellow English teacher. "You mean you didn't tell her?"  
"Tell me what?" Nicky was leaning forward again, eager for answers.  
Alex gave her head the smallest of shakes. "I didn't tell her anything, kid. Didn't think you'd want the whole world to know what we'd been up to."

Again, Piper found herself forgetting the integral differences between Alex and every boy she'd ever dated.  
Alex wasn't in this for the glory - there would be no gloating or achievement in this for her.  
She wasn't using her relationship with Piper as social credit, or for locker-room bragging rights.  
Piper wasn't used to people simply being with her for her, and she hated herself for the doubt she'd placed on Alex, assuming the brunette would have already shared the news with half of the staff room.  
But no - Alex hadn't even told her best friend.

"Hey, not-lesbians. Did you fuck or what?"  
Alex's only response was to shrug, her eyes still on Piper's.  
Piper gave a long, slow nod in place of an audible affirmation, and Nicky laughed.  
"I kinda assumed you did, but who the fuck am I to judge?"

Piper dipped her head self-consciously.  
She could still feel Alex's gaze on her, and knew that her cheeks were reddening  
"It's your go, kid." Alex prompted softly, and Piper chewed her lip.  
Raising her eyes a little, she glanced over at Alex.  
"Truth, or dare?"  
Alex wasn't above completing a dare, but opted to give Piper the opportunity to speak her mind. " _Truth_."

Piper wanted to address the concern that had been clutching at her subconscious all evening - " _Does your bet with Boo involve me_?" - but instead something considerably more complex bubbled up in its place.  
 _This_ question had been eating away at her for days, and its release was almost involuntary, with Piper still stumbling over the syntax as she stammered out her inquiry.

"Are we girlfriends?"

Alex stilled, the long, thin fingers of her left hand pressed against the glass she held, until Piper could see the pale prints of her fingertips leaving warm blushes against the clear container.

Nicky glanced from one participant to the other, uncertain as to how she might proceed.  
When the silence had reigned for a few too many seconds to ignore any longer, she slipped from her stool at the table unceremoniously.  
Draining the last of her drink, she placed flat palms on the surface they surrounded, eyes flitting from woman to woman as her skin settled onto the cool counter-top.  
"Well, I've just remembered that I have some very important shit to finish."

Scooping up her laptop, she wandered out into the empty hallway, leaving Piper hanging at the end of an unanswered inquiry, and Alex in the lurch.

The brunette cleared her throat, eyes on the scratched tabletop.  
She ran the thumb of her free hand across an old wine stain, a deep red emblazoned across the ancient pine.  
 _Answer carefully. You don't want to fuck this up._

 _"_ Alex?"  
Filling her lungs, Alex nodded. "Yeah?"  
The air hung around them, and Piper found that she was incapable of waiting any longer, suffocating in the silence.  
"Will you be my girlfriend?"  
Alex's face split into a grin, the corners of her eyes crinkling. "Sure, kid."

She reached out for Piper's hand across the table, their fingers brushing. This all seemed too easy. _Too easy, and too Elementary school._

"Yes?" Piper could feel happiness bubbling somewhere inside or her, and needed to check she hadn't misunderstood.  
"Yes, you idiot."  
Overjoyed, Piper lurched unsteadily from her seat and around to where Alex remained, throwing arms around her and peppering her face with kisses.

"Pipes, you're trashed." Alex mumbled fondly, placing firm hands on her girlfriend's waist to steady her.  
"But more importantly, I'm no longer single." The blonde asserted, still showering Alex with feather-light kisses like confetti. " _Wait_ , that came out wrong."

Alex began to return the affection, catching Piper's lips with her own and drawing her into a loving embrace.  
"Bed?"  
"To sleep or for sex?"  
"Does it matter?"  
"If it's the latter, we don't need a bed..."

Piper glanced at the table behind Alex, returning her gaze to the green eyes before her.  
Alex raised an eyebrow, smirk curving the corners of her lips.  
Sliding her hand up Piper's thigh, she pressed the woman closer to her, feeling her own pulse ricochet from wrist to throat.  
She was certain she saw the irises of Piper's eyes darken, and knew without hesitation what she needed to do next.

Pushing her seat away from the table, Alex rose to her feet and urged Piper backwards against the flat wooden surface behind her, lifting her up onto it.  
Piper's feet swung in the air, legs drawing Alex nearer and heels holding her close.

The kiss they shared was heated, urgent, and Piper tangled her hands in Alex's soft hair without hesitation.  
"I want you, Alex."

The brunette exhaled, dizzy with want, and tugged at Piper's bottom lip with her teeth. After the moan in her mouth subsided, she held her girlfriend's face in her hands, warmth echoing between them in a heady maelstrom of lust and adoration.  
" _Show, don't tell_."


	19. Born To Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay.
> 
> I fell asleep.
> 
> Chapter is named after the Christopher McDougall book, rather than the Springsteen song.  
> Both are good though.

 

"Bed?"  
"To sleep or for sex?"  
"Does it matter?"  
"If it's the latter, we don't need a bed..."  
Piper glanced at the table behind Alex, then returned her gaze to the green eyes before her. Alex raised an eyebrow, smirk curving the corners of her lips.

Pushing her seat away, Alex rose to her feet and urged Piper backwards against the flat wooden surface behind her, lifting her up onto it.  
Piper's feet swung in the air, legs drawing Alex nearer and heels holding her close as she perched on the edge of the table.

The kiss they shared was heated, urgent, and Piper tangled her hands in Alex's soft hair without hesitation. "I want you, Alex."  
The brunette exhaled, dizzy with want, and tugged at Piper's bottom lip with her teeth.  
Kissing Piper felt like dragging on the best cigarettes: she always left with a heady rush and an irrepressible urge for more.

After the moan in her mouth subsided, Alex held her girlfriend's face in her hands, warmth echoing between them in a maelstrom of lust and adoration. "Show, don't tell."  
Piper grinned, fumbling with Alex's belt buckle as their lips met once more.  
Several seconds passed, and soon Alex's jeans were slipping past her hips as Piper slid her hand inside the waistband of the brunette's underwear, eliciting a gasp of surprise.

Alex pulled back for a second, head a little cloudy from the alcohol they'd consumed.  
She'd felt fine before, but the rush of blood beating inside her seemed to have hurried the hazy process beyond its usual meander, and she felt her cheeks flush, from both the beer and the presence of her girlfriend's hand.

"Brave." Alex murmured affectionately, her tongue tracing Piper's jawline as she mumbled the words into her skin, caressing the curve with care.  
All this to cover the begging that grew in the pit of her stomach.  
"Impatient." Piper corrected, running her fingers gently through the dark curls at the apex of Alex's thighs. "Can I?"  
Alex laughed, a chuckle low in her throat that Piper wasn't sure she'd heard. "No need to ask."  
The blonde shook her head - a little too fast perhaps, as the world seemed reluctant to keep up - trailing her index finger an inch lower than before. "I'm always going to ask, Alex."

Alex opened her mouth to inquire, curious as to Piper's reasoning, but the query was cut short by the briefest graze of Piper's index finger against her clit, and Alex's body trembled in response.  
Endorphins flooded her system, and she felt each hair on the back of her neck rise, the lifting of her shoulders as she took a deep intake of breath, Piper's teeth sinking into her bottom lip with a hunger they both possessed.

"Fuck."

Piper giggled.  
The sound seemed almost out of place, and it wasn't until Alex opened her eyes that she remembered how much alcohol they'd had.  
Her movement was a little sluggish, but not so affected that she couldn't cover Piper's hand with her own, encouraging the blonde's fingers lower once more.

Piper laughed again.  
Last time they'd done this, her amusement had been an expression of self-conscious anxiety, a nervous gesture that she'd been unable to withhold.  
Now she was giggling for an entirely different reason.  
Something about this whole scenario felt so very much like teenage misbehaviour: she was just waiting for someone to walk in and find them, or for a creak on the stairs outside to send them into a moment of frozen fear.

When Alex moaned for a second time, the mirth died on Piper's lips as Alex locked eyes with her, urging her fingers further down into her underwear.  
Piper felt a weakness in her own knees. She was so desperate to hear - to cause - that response once more. It was like she needed it, craved it, had to have it.

Piper pressed her fingers against Alex's heated entrance, sliding a single digit inside and bringing another impromptu expression of lust from the brunette, her breath hitching from the unexpected contact.

The blonde slipped away from her, and Alex went to follow, the absence of kisses and contact almost a loss she couldn't handle, hot and wet and weak with want.  
But Piper's hand in her hair kept her in place, and she had to watch, overwrought with desire, as Piper  _oh so slowly_  withdrew her hand from Alex's underwear and licked her fingers clean.

Alex's vision clouded.  
She could cope with being teased.  
She could deal with being denied the sweetest kisses she'd ever known.  
But seeing Piper do this?  
Alex could feel the alcohol making the next decision for her.

The second Piper had finished, Alex's hands were on her hips, thumbs circling the angular protrusions with no time for tenderness.  
"I want you."  
Reduced to monosyllables, Alex could feel every novel she'd ever read falling apart, each piece of classic literature abandoning her as her mouth met Piper's neck, but she found that she didn't care.  
In that moment, she didn't want the closed-door caresses of Austen or Brontë. Shelley and Keats could go fuck themselves.  
In spite of her laboured lexis, the heartbeat on her tongue that told her words were not wanted here. This was a moment for Winterson, Waters, Atwood, Lawrence…

To hell with books. This was far more important.

Adrenaline wired it's way through Alex's body, and when the beer told her quite confidently that she could fuck her girlfriend on the kitchen table, she knew she had to seize the opportunity.  
Something primal in the pit of Alex's stomach was now driving each action on her behalf, a burning urge at the back of her mind.

Between kisses, Piper was aware of Alex's fingers curling into the soft skin of her ass through her skirt, the gentle removal of her underwear as Alex's hands trailed down her legs, and the lifting of her feet to unhook the garment with care.

"Shoes. Off."  
The command came from near her ankles, and she glanced down to find Alex surging up to meet her, eyes warm and searching.  
Their lips met again, and when Alex's mouth eventually left hers, Piper's mind was awhirl with the possibilities of where it may find itself next.  
This was a work of fiction, surely, the unadulterated joy she felt from just sharing a room with this remarkable woman; these things didn't ever happen to Piper Chapman.

She was spun where she stood - her turn now to find her spine pressed against the firm wooden table - and strong hands lifted her onto the surface with ease.  
Alex placed a flat palm in the centre of the blonde's chest, the other hand cradling the curve of Piper's head as she pushed her back onto her elbows.

Perhaps things  _did_  happen to her, Piper reasoned. They definitely seemed to be happening now.

Dropping to her knees once more, inching Piper's skirt to her hips, Alex recalled the last time they'd done this, their first night together.  
Alcohol had been unable to eschew the undercurrent of uncertainty she'd felt then, but tonight she was almost reckless with yearning, and the ebbing of her hesitation was like the tide receding.  
Her breath ghosted against Piper's skin, and Alex could almost see the moment that Piper stopped thinking, and started  _being_  instead.

They had both been inside their own heads all night.  
The twisting, serpentine anxieties of their evening were finally dissolving, and Alex was glad to be the one to melt the ice, as she watched Piper's hands finally relax, flat against the wood beneath her.

Forcing herself to be still, to be calm in spite of the excitement and nerves that always accompanied something this  _new_ , Piper took deep breaths.  
She felt exposed, but unafraid, and mapped out the next inevitable motions in her mind.  
Piper anticipated Alex's hands parting her thighs, the tug of muscles in the pit of her stomach, the way her teeth sunk into the her bottom lip in response.  
The single swift motion of Alex's tongue against her cunt was  _less expected_ however, tracing a hot, slick line toward her core without warning.

Piper was sweet against Alex's tongue, an ocean of honey and salt.  
She had recalled the taste like a distant memory, crystalline in her mind, but revisiting the scene of the crime in reality was so much better.  
The blonde's hands tangled themselves in Alex's hair, urging her on, and Alex was happy to oblige.  
She could feel herself growing warmer, and each brief moment of contact between herself and Piper furthered the hunger she had for more.  
She was starving for Piper, mouth watering as Piper's pulse flickered against her tongue.

" _Alex_ …"  
Piper's voice was distant, an echo at the end of a long tunnel, and Alex had to ear herself away to focus on her girlfriend's imploring.  
"What Pipes?"  
"I want -"  
She broke off, aposiopesis at its finest, and Alex exhaled softly between her thighs.  
Piper moaned in response.  
"What do you want kid?" Alex remembered their first night together, Piper's hesitation and the fear fluttering in her throat like a bird trapped.  
"I want… I want your fingers."

Alex liked directness, and Piper's demand - although hesitant - headed straight to the part of her she'd been forsaking in favour of Piper's own.  
Piper was already wet from Alex's hot mouth, and the brunette wasted no time in sliding two fingers between Piper's legs, the skin so soft and smooth that she almost forgot about her tongue, still in place against her lover's clit.

Piper's hips rose with each motion of Alex's - each meet, retreat, repeat of her hand sending shockwaves through her already over-sensitive body - and her legs trembled against the ever-warming wood of the table she lay upon.

" _Fuck_  Alex..." She mumbled, almost incoherently, the phonemes blurring together into some approximation of an invocation and an exclamation. "Fuck, fuck, fu-..."  
The ever-rising epizeuxis ringing in Alex's ears, she felt Piper tightening around her, the muscles in her thighs on either side of Alex's head tremulous and taut.

The blonde's back arched away from the oak, and for a moment, everything seemed so still.  
Alex could hear the clock hanging on the kitchen wall, each tick hollow and measured, a stark contrast to Piper's ragged exhalations which seemed to echo around them in a bid to break free from the boundaries of the room itself.

There was a creak above her head, and she remember idly - too late - that Nicky was still here, residing quietly in her room mere meters above them both.

The stasis subsided, and Piper's back collided with the table heavily, crunching as her scapulae met the oak with little mercy.  
The blonde mumbled an expression of pain, hazy and helpless as the feeling of ecstasy dissipated rapidly from her body.

Alex laughed a little, absentmindedly running her tongue along her lips as she rose to her feet.  
"You 'kay?"  
"Yes and no."  
Alex ran her hands along Piper's sides with a feather-light touch, unable to reach the sore point she wanted to soothe. "You hurt yourself?"  
"I'm holding  _you_  personally responsible for my sinjury."  
"Your what?"  
"Sinjury. My sex injury. I just made it up."  
"You don't say."  
Piper grinned then, knowing she was being teased and not caring. "Now I know why those women's magazines say you should never try and copy porn. It's not practical."  
Alex shrugged, smirking. "We were doing okay until you came."  
"That's like saying, 'you did a great job of marking that cake until you forgot to turn the oven on'."  
There was a quietly righteous tone to Piper's obscure analogy that Alex had grown fond of, and she took Piper's hands in hers before replying.  
"But I  _did_  turn the oven on, Pipes." She hauled Piper into an upright position, and the younger woman buried her face in Alex's neck. "Didn't I?"

Piper wrapped her arms and legs around Alex, allowing the brunette to scoop her off the table and carry her to the door.  
She placed Piper carefully at the foot of the stairs, brushing a lock of hair away from her face as she took her hand.  
"I'm going to have to get to the gym more if you want me to carry you further."  
"Are you saying I'm heavy?" Piper pouted, but there was mischief in her eyes.  
"I'm saying the heaviest thing I lift at the moment is a book and a beer, and you're neither of those."  
Piper crossed her arms, eyes to the ceiling in feigned indifference. "Then I guess you'll have to work on your cardio too." She shrugged.  
"Oh yeah? Why's that?"  
"Because if you don't beat me to the bed, there'll be no blanket left for you."

With a still-tipsy giggle, Piper turned on her heel and lurched away, scrambling up the stairs as fast as her unsteady legs could carry her, adrenalised giddiness trailing in her wake.

Alex sighed, but grinned in spite of herself.  
She had pursued Piper this far - a little further wouldn't hurt.


	20. Hot Milk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally one HUGE chapter of 5500+ words, but I thought we could half it.  
> This means that not a great deal happens in this particular section, but I’ve learnt recently that actually, it’s okay for things not to happen sometimes.
> 
> I thought the readership might have dropped off since I took a nine-month nap on this fic, but based on the inbox messages I'm getting, I guess not. 
> 
> Chapter twenty though. Wtaf. I did not think we would get this far.  
> I’m also struggling to comprehend the fact that I’m not even nearly halfway through the narrative I have in my head. There’s much, much more to come if you can continue to tolerate this.
> 
> Responses to some PMs and reviews at the bottom.  
> Reviews are always, always welcome.

 

Piper opened her eyes, the thin slivers of sunlight filtering in between the curtains almost blinding.

There was a buzzing at the back of her brain that was half alcohol induced, half faded memory of something she really needed to remember...

 

_“Will you be out all night?”_

_Piper twisted inside the top she was struggling to fasten, doing her best to tug at the zip while also maintaining eye contact with her roommate. “What?”_

_“I said,” Polly strode over from her idle leaning against the wardrobe, taking the fastening from Piper’s grasping fingers and and zipping it up in one swift motion. “Will you be out all night? Are you staying at hers?” Polly placed her palm on Piper’s shoulder as she gathered up her jacket. “Whatever happens, just don't forget that we have coffee tomorrow at 11am.”_

 

Fuck.

Was it only yesterday that she’d had this conversation?

She shouldn’t have had so much to drink. She shouldn’t have let herself sleep in.

There were a lot of _shouldn’ts_ here; she had been awake for less than two minutes and she was already frustrated with herself. _Great start_. Old habits die hard.

 

What time even was it? Surely there was a clock in here, or _something_.

 

Scrambling for her slowly dying phone on the bedstand, her eyes adjusted all-too gradually to the digital display she stared at.

It was 10:20: she had to be in the city centre in forty minutes.

 

Piper dropped her phone and rolled over again, this time to face Alex.

Alex, who was still curled into the perfect _big spoon_ curve, whose long dark hair framed her face in the kind of way Byron and Shelley would’ve written tomes about, whose pale skin -

“You’re scowling. It’s early and you’re scowling at me.”

Piper started, startled by Alex’s somnolent mumblings.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t scowling _at_ you, I just…” Piper sighed and sat up, pressing her fingers to her temples. “I think i’m going to be late for meeting Polly.”

“So be late.” Alex was nonchalant even upon waking, it seemed.

 

She stretched out beside Piper, the blanket covering her naked body inching lower and lower with each limb she extended. Piper could feel herself being drawn in again, as she eyed blemishes, bruises and freckles dotted across the brunette’s body in places she’d never noticed before.

 

Planting a swift kiss on Alex’s forehead and trying her best to ignore the goofy grin her girlfriend had plastered across her still-sleepy face, Piper slid out of bed, away from the living embodiment of temptation beside her.

_Tantalus has got nothing on this._

 

“I can’t just “ _be late”_ , Alex. I’ve got to go, I’m sorry.” Not for the first time, Piper began to gather her scattered clothes from around Alex’s room. Pausing by the doorway, she exhaled hard, the breeze causing her fringe to lift from her forehead. “Polly holds grudges, and I don’t want to be living in silent treatment for the next twenty four hours.”

 

Sitting up, Alex knuckled her eyes roughly, and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, a small amount of resentment noticeable in her movements. “She sounds like a real dick.”

Picking her way cautiously through her floordrobe, glasses still abandoned by the bed, she aimed in Piper’s direction.

 

“Well,” Piper paused, wondering whether it was worth defending  the worst trait of her best friend. “Yeah, I guess. But she’s also the only person I really know in this city, so...” She trailed off lamely, turning towards the exit out into the corridor.

Her palm had only glanced against the doorknob by the time Alex reached her, long, warm arms wrapping themselves around her waist.

“And what if I kept you here?”

Alex’s words were taunting in all the right ways, and it took every fibre of Piper’s concentration to remember that she had other places to be.

“I would love to be kept here, but - ”

“If I kept you hostage, you wouldn’t be able to leave, right? I mean, I can think of _at least_ a dozen ways to keep you in this room...” The older woman teased,

 

Alex’s lips were hot against Piper’s neck, and Piper could feel herself leaning back into Alex’s embrace without a care in the world.

_She would like to be able to stay._

_She was definitely curious about Alex’s ingenuity when it came to keeping her here._

_Honestly, her imagination had run wild when she’d spotted the silk scarves adorning Alex’s bed posts in her first night..._

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and Piper shook her head, pushing herself gently out of Alex’s embrace.

 

“Tempting though _all_ of this is,” Piper began, turning to face Alex, only for her eyes to land squarely on her girlfriend’s naked form. “I, uh...”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“I… have to go.” Piper faltered, lurching from the social starting blocks with her assertion cast to the wind. “I _really_ have to go.”

 

Alex laughed, but let her leave.

“I’ll give you a ride.” She called after Piper’s retreating form, tugging on a pair of jeans.

At least the car journey would give her a little more time with the blonde before she had to say goodbye again.

 

* * *

 

Nicky tried to align the phone’s camera with her torso, giving a little away, but not much. She could at least _pretend_ to be classy, right?

 

She was bad at this.

Subtlety had never been her strong point.

She wasn’t even sure why Alex encouraged her to get Snapchat in the first place.

 

Checking the photograph was reasonable (and being sure to hide the contents of the bedside cabinet she’d strewn across the mattress in the early hours of the morning, unable to sleep and admittedly a little jealous of her housemate), she clicked send and checked the recipient. _StellaC_.

Let’s hope she only had one of those on her contact list, otherwise this was about to get weird.

Or at least, weird _er_.

 

Neither she nor the new music teacher had a great deal in common - aside from their collectively excellent music tastes, natch - but when she’d received a semi-naked snap from her colleague the night before - unsolicited, might she add - she’d decided to return the favour.

 

Nicky was definitely not one for taking photographs of herself, as she preferred that the past leave no receipts: if there was no evidence of wrongdoing, it didn’t happen.

But she _had_ spent the evening prior listening to her housemate re-christen their kitchen table, and there was only so much that headphones could keep out.

 

She had fallen asleep frustrated. Why did Alex get to have all the fun?

It wasn’t that Nicky wanted Piper. Hell, she didn't even necessarily want a serious relationship.

She just wanted _someone_.

 

A quick lay with the music teacher was better than repeatedly rebuffed advances with the Driver’s Ed tutor, who she wouldn't keep messaging if she didn't seem interested.

 

Nicky was learning slowly how to pick her battles, and she was fairly sure she’d won this one.

Even more so when her phone buzzed almost instantly beside her, screen lighting her face as she eyed the reply.

 

It looked like her instincts about Stella had been right.

 

She wondered about taking another photo, but her train of thought was halted mid-track as she heard a holler from outside her door: _“I’ll give you a ride.”_

 

Hopping off the bed, she stuck her head out into the corridor, as Alex lumbered clumsily around in a pair of half-tugged up jeans and an old grey t-shirt, seemingly trying to put on both at the same time.

 

“Who’s riding who?”

“I wish. Piper needs a lift.”

Nicky glanced back into her bedroom as though there was something of worth waiting for her.

She might as well get on with her day. Her bedroom would be just as empty when she came back to it.

“Ah, where to? I need to head out anyway.”

Alex arched an eyebrow quizzically, but didn't question Nicky’s claim. “City centre. Some coffee place.”

“Ugh, I bet she's heading to Abraço or some hipster coffee house. The WASPs love that shit.”

“Maybe.” Alex shrugged, resenting Nicky’s imposition on her time alone with Piper. “She's in a hurry, so I was going to drive her -”

Nicky slapped Alex on the shoulder, almost knocking the brunette off kilter. “Great! Just let me get my shit together.”

 

Alex’s housemate slammed her door in her face, hasty to beat a swift retreat from the house in favour of a free ride.

Alex sighed.

“You have five minutes before we're driving away.” She yelled, mouth to the barrier blocking Nicky from her sight.

“I'm doing my best.” Nicky’s reply was muffled by the wood between them. “You think a junkie doesn't know how to do speed?”

 

Alex laughed in spite of herself, and heard Nicky do the same as she headed down the stairs.

 

* * *

 

Alex preferred to think of herself as a safe driver, but the way Piper gripped her hand as the minutes itched by made her think twice about abiding by the speed limit.

 

Nicky, with almost no sense of tact, lunged between them with a CD in her hand, ejecting whatever Alex had in and replacing it with her own, sliding it into the slot above their hand-holding like a bad croupier.

 

“What's this?” Alex queried skeptically.

“Just wait and see.” Nicky slunk back across the rear seats like they were a sofa.

“Please tell me it's not more Martha Wainwright.”

“It's not Martha fuckin’ Wainwright, okay? Just be patient, _jeez_.”

Out of the corner of Alex’s eye, she could see Piper give the smallest smile.

“I like Martha Wainwright.” Her voice was quiet, as though she didn't want to give Nicky the victory.

“Once more with feeling Blondie?” _Too late; the backseat beckoned._

“I actually _really like_ Martha Wainwright.” Piper repeated, a little louder this time.

“See Stretch?” Nicky smirked, leaning between the seats again. “Looks like some people in this car actually have a little taste after all.”

“Christ.” Alex muttered, giving Piper’s hand a squeeze as they pulled into a small parking space along from their destination.

 

Allowing herself a few seconds for a long, slow exhalation, Piper glanced at the time on her phone, and gave Alex a brief kiss on the cheek.

“I'm sorry I have to dash. Thanks for the lift.” Twisting around in her seat, she grinned at Nicky. “See you later!”

Nicky inexplicably gave a mock salute as the newcomer scrambled out of the car.

 

As the door slammed, Alex tilted her head back until it connected with the headrest, turning the keys in the ignition until they fell lifeless into her lap.

She closed her eyes for a moment, the adrenaline of the past half hour slowly seeping from her body.

There was a creaking behind her, and she heard Nicky’s chuckle before the question followed it.

 

“Don't you think it's weird,” her housemate started, mischief dripping from each word. “That she said _thanks for the lift_ , but not _thanks for last night?”_

Nicky adopted a clichéd Valley-girl accent for each impersonation, which Alex found particularly offensive.

“Maybe you're losing your touch, Vause.” Nicky teased. “Did your performance feel sub-par? Below standard in any way?” She emerged between the front seats again, stretching her legs through the gap and then hauling her body forward, until she sat in Piper’s now empty space. “You think maybe if we contact the Department for Education they might be able to give you a few tips to ensure the _success_ of your student?”

 

Alex unbuckled her seatbelt almost at lightning speed, and Nicky edged back towards the passenger door, laughing.

Alex swung her fist playfully, knuckles colliding into Nicky’s arms but without any real intent to harm.

“Fuck you, Nick. At least I'm getting some.”

“Yeah, getting some disappointing results, evidently.”

Alex paused. Nicky did have a point, although she was loathe to admit it; Piper _hadn't_ said anything about their evening together. Had she not enjoyed it?

“Has she said something to you?”

“Who, Blondie?”

Alex nodded solemnly.

Nicky looked incredulous, but in seeing her friend’s face - a little wounded, tired, hopeful - she decided that honesty was best. “Hey, I'm just fucking with you. I'm sure she had a great time.” Nicky gave Alex what she hoped was a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. “Probably just didn't want to bring it up in front of your devilishly good-looking roommate.”

 

Alex ran a hand through her hair, her trademark symbol of stress _,_ and rested her temple against the chilled window pane of the driver’s side door. Nicky had seen this look so often in the last year that she reckoned she could recognise in a snowstorm.

 

“You're fine, Vause. Really. She's smitten.” Nicky mumbled encouragingly to the back of Alex’s head. She wasn’t always good at comforting, but she tried her best. “I don't think she's even thought about _me_ naked in days.”

Alex grinned, her white teeth reflected in the glass. “Nicky, I don't think anyone’s thought about _you_ naked in _weeks.”_

“Months, maybe.”

“Years, even.”

“Since the dawn of time.” Finished Nicky, sombrely.

 

They sat in silence, only the sound of passing cars to keep them company.

Nicky restlessly pulled the seatbelt across her, and then released it, repeating the pattern over and over until Alex made eye contact. “You want a coffee Vause?”

Alex laughed. “You trying to get a rise out of me?”

“You want a coffee or not?”

“Fuck. Sure.”

 

Out on the street, Alex glanced up and down the busy road before them. “Which one did Piper go into?”

“Fuck if I know. I was too busy pissing you off. Didn't she tell you?”

Alex sighed, frustrated. “No. She just gave me the street.”

Nicky took a few paces around them, eventually coming to a halt before her friend with a shrug. “Well, take your pick. The worst that happens if we end up in the same place as her is that we end up in the same place as her.”

Alex nodded. “I just don't want to cause any more friction between she and Polly.”

“Polly or no Polly, I need a coffee.” Nicky paused, assessing the situation. ”So, pick a place.”

 

Alex aimed in the direction of the nearest venue and started walking.

There were at least four coffee houses on the street.

What were the odds of them choosing the same one?

 

* * *

 

Alex was no maths teacher, but even she could've worked out that they had a one in four chance of ending up in the same place.

Those were fairly high odds.

They felt even higher when she noticed Piper sitting with a brunette at the back of the room, only moments after ordering her coffee - _to sit in, fuck_ \- at the counter.

 

“I'm impressed.” Nicky muttered, making faces at the muffins as she waited for service. “To think we almost ended up _not_ under the same roof as your bae.”

“My what?” Alex was irritable from the anxiety that something might go awry, feathers preemptively ruffled by the possibility of an impending altercation.

“Bae. It's what the kids say. It means like, _biggest asshole ever,_ or something.”

“Bay?”

“B-a-e.”

“Ugh.” Alex rolled her eyes. “If language wasn't a constantly evolving thing, I'd worry that the future was doomed.”

“I mean, let’s be realistic.” Nicky was now sinking her teeth into a blueberry muffin, her words forming around fistfuls of food.

As they headed over to a space in the window, Alex made the mistake of glancing over to Piper’s table, where Piper was frozen in place, staring back at her.

Nicky continued, oblivious. “We're all gonna die anyway - ” Polly had evidently noticed Piper’s odd behaviour, and turned in her seat to follow her friend’s gaze. “ - What's the worst that can happen?”

Alex could come up with a few suggestions.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I'm sorry I was late.”

Piper rushed to get the words out, keen to fit them into the conversation before Polly had the chance to notify her she was seven minutes behind schedule.

“It's fine. I guess.” Polly pretended to be nonchalant, but Piper could see she was a little irritated.

If her friend didn't insist on being so early every time, she would have to wait around significantly less often. Now wasn't the right time to revisit that idea though.

 

“How was your evening?”

Piper decided to keep her reply brief.

She wanted to tell someone, almost _anyone_ , about her night. The kisses, the cuddles, the fact that she now had a girlfriend - something she had repeated over and over inside her mind as the car had sped through the morning traffic - and even the weirdness after the restaurant. But she wasn't sure how Polly would respond.

Probably better to save that conversation for a less public space, she reasoned.

“It was great, thanks. How was yours?”

Polly eyed her suspiciously over her latte, but didn't question her.

“It was fine. I sat on the sofa, _alone_ , watching reruns of Sex and the City, _again_ , while my housemate did more interesting things.”

Piper rolled her eyes. “If I’d have known you were going to be like this, we could've cancelled coffee.”

“Like what? Deserted? Abandoned?”

Piper raised an eyebrow. “You feeling a little melodramatic today, Pol?”

Polly grinned despite her bad mood. “Maybe. _Yes_. I just miss you.”

“We share a house, you see me all the time!”

“But we don’t _hang out_ like we used to. You’re always off doing things, or working, and I just miss spending time with you like we did - ”

“ - At college.” Piper finished for her, already sensing where this was going. “College was a while ago, Pol. And I miss hanging out with you, but we’re both ‘grown ups’ now.” She put air-quotes around their age descriptor to emphasise her scepticism. “And it doesn’t help that you work from home all the time.”

“But PoPi doesn’t have an office!”

“PoPi doesn’t _need_ an office. It’s just you and me.”

“And the soap-makers.” Polly interjected. “They’re fairly integral.”

“They are! But unless you want to go and sit on wicker mats with them in their hipster apartment, smelling like lavender and lye…” Piper tailed off lamely.

She understood that Polly must be bored of sitting alone in their shared space, waiting for Piper to come home in search of some social interaction, only for Piper to leave again within the hour. But she had her own life to live. “I’m just the silent partner here. Teaching takes up most of my life, and when I _do_ have free time...”

 

Piper cast a glance over Polly’s shoulder, hoping the answer might be evident in the street outside, her eyes aiming for the window but instead landing squarely on the broad shoulders of the body that blocked her view.

The customer was side-on to her, and if she wasn’t so sleep-deprived, she would’ve been sure that the green eyes glinting at her through the shop’s low lighting belonged to -

Alex.

 _Shit_.

Polly was not going to like this.

 

* * *

 

_Riceroni - thanks mate. I don’t know of any Piper/Stella fics, but I’ve taken prompts in the past. If you get stuck, hmu._

_Audrey - not sure if that’s in the plans, but I’ve honestly only checkpointed this story. It could be - it would fit._

_Librarybook - likewise! Alex at the gym feels like a weird AU._

_JenSurname - aw, shucks. Thank you. I really appreciate that._

_5222008 - there’s so much more to come, my friend. Do not worry._

_Guest #1 - thanks. I’ll do my best._

 

 _As a closing note, I got lots of PMs after the last chapter, but there was one that I wanted to share. Thanks to BT (not the name!) for letting me:_  
_“_ Are the [chapter titles] books from Piper’s list of favourite books that she gave to Alex at the start? _”_ _  
_ Yes BT. Yes they are.


	21. The Icarus Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like terrible, terrible jokes, because there are two of those in here.
> 
> Bonus points to those of you who enjoyed the lameness of Nicky's "You think a druggie doesn't know how to do speed?" joke from the last chapter too.

 

Alex tried to execute a wave in Piper's direction that seemed both casual and flirtatious, but instead bumped Nicky's drink with her elbow, sending scorching caffeine into her friend's lap.

On the other side of the room, Piper did her best to rearrange her features into something a little subtler, but Polly was too quick, squirming in her seat to see what - or who - had caught her friend's attention.

Nicky yelped as the coffee collided with her jeans. "Watch your arms Al!"  
She started to dab at the fabric as Alex plied her with napkins from the dispenser on the table, and Alex realised that if they hadn't been spotted before, they definitely would be now.

"You're like Stretch- _fuckin_ '-Armstrong Vause, I ever tell you that?" Nicky continued, grinning through gritted teeth. "You've got arms like an ape."

Various patrons had turned to look when Nicky had yelled, and although Alex hoped her friend hadn't been too badly hurt, she also hoped she wasn't about to get Piper into bother.

Piper slumped in her seat a little, defeat seemingly imminent.

"Did that woman call her friend Al? Like  _Alex_? Like  _your_  Alex? Is that why you're making weird eyes at the that side of the room?" Twisting back to face her, Polly's eyebrow was raised alarmingly high, and although she was quite clearly not a mathematician, Piper had to commend her hasty calculations here.  
She liked the way the phrase " _your Alex"_ sounded coming from someone else, although Polly would not have been her first choice to hear it from.  
"Polly - "  
"That  _is_ her, isn't it? Did she follow you here?"  
"No, I - "  
"Oh my God, did you  _invite_ her?"

This was the part that Piper had been afraid of. Her friend was already frustrated that Alex was encroaching on the time she had deemed to be  _theirs_ , and now her appearance in the coffee shop was less than ideal.  
Piper could see Polly's train of thought from a mile off - you don't get to be friends for over a decade and not know how someone's brain works.  
Polly believed that Alex was leading Piper astray, causing her 'straight' roommate to turn away from her friends, keeping her out late and getting her drunk, forgetting her name on the phone - Polly had gone on about  _that_ perceived slight for hours - and her invasion of their long-overdue meeting on that very morning was the nail in the coffin that contained an itemised list of reasons for Polly to despise Alex Vause.

"No, I didn't invite her."  
"Then why is she here?"  
"For a coffee?" Piper replied, weakly.  
Polly rounded on Piper in the way she always had when Piper wasn't doing as she asked.

On the playground, when they were six.  
Outside the cinema, when they were eleven.  
On the bus, both fourteen and drunker than they should be.  
At a house party, at the foot of the stairs with a boy's hand in hers.

Polly had just wanted a little time to catch up with her oldest friend, but somehow,  _miraculously_ , her latest fuck buddy was here too.  
The woman who had been remarkably rude to her on the phone in the not-so-distant past.

Polly preferred to settle her scores in private, but here would do too.

Rising from her seat, Polly drained what was left of her coffee.

"What are you doing?" Piper's voice seemed a little strained, a barely-concealed edge to it.  
"I'm going over to introduce myself to your friends." Polly gave her biggest, brightest smile, and Piper flinched.

Polly was an alligator baring her teeth, just close enough to the surface of the water to bite when harmlessness was less interesting.

"Polly, wait - "

* * *

Nicky's initial irritation had softened into sly digs and soft insults, which Alex welcomed with open arms.  
Alex meanwhile was still delivering fistfuls of serviettes into Nicky's lap, which was now considerably drier than it had been.

Her anxiety only reappeared when she noted Piper's friend heading in their direction with a little more speed than she would've liked, as Piper looked helplessly on from behind.

"Alex, right?" Polly's brown eyes could be so kind, but in this moment they seemed dark, dangerous, and Alex was in no was inclined to welcome any fuckery this morning.

Willing herself to make eye contact, sliding from the bench begrudgingly, Alex rose to her feet, several inches taller than Polly in a way that reassured her about the coming conversation.

"You must be Holly. Nice to meet you." Alex extended a hand to shake, but Polly didn't respond immediately.

Nicky watched them both tentatively, before leaning across the table in their direction, her own hand out in a gesture of greeting. " _Polly_. I've heard so much about you from Piper."  
Whether Polly simply hadn't seen Nicky or she hadn't expected her participation was unclear, but she seemed startled by the interruption, choosing Nicky's hand over Alex's.  
The taller woman's brow darkened as though a storm was coming, but Nicky ignored her, all charm and grins.

"And you are?"  
"Nicky Nichols. Daughter of Marka Nichols, maybe you heard of her? She's dead now, but  _what_  a lady. Did you go to Saint Agnes with Piper?" Nicky was in full diversion mode, and Alex took the opportunity to step back.

She was getting some serious school flashbacks: preppy girls demanding to know where her hand-me-downs came from, the richer kids confronting her in the cafeteria as she ate another leftover burger from her mother's shift at the diner the day before, being stopped at the entrance to the bus because her trailer park poverty "might be contagious"...  
But rather than heading for the door as her brain normally begged her to do, heart aching and legs screaming for escape, she found herself aiming in a completely different direction.

Piper's worried gaze met hers through the coffee house crowd, and Alex wanted nothing more than to sink into the soft embrace of Piper's arms, for them to return to the bed they'd shared that morning and just  _exist_  in the same space for a few hours.

This had just become a very different kind of need.

An assortment of chairs and tables became an informal barrier between them, neither wanting to move for fear of worsening the situation.

Alex's tendency to lapse back into literary references during points of pressure or times of tension resurfaced, and she wanted to make some Victor Hugo-esque pun about being "beyond the barricade", but her target audience was too far away, watching her with eyes that sought an easy resolution.  
If Alex wanted to become a permanent fixture in Piper's life, she realised that even if Holly -  _Polly_  - was domineering and judgemental, she'd still need to ingratiate herself.  
Piper would never ask that of her, but it seemed only fair to try.

Turning back to the conversation beside her - where Nicky was somehow neck-deep in a conversation of her own making about the types of soap she used - Alex cleared her throat.  
Polly met her return to their social sphere with a raised eyebrow, and Alex fought not to mirror the gesture, all cocked hip and folded arms. She chose to smile instead.

"Small world, right?" Alex jerked her head in Piper's direction.  
"Mm. All the coffee shops in this city and you miraculously found yourself in this one."  
"Eh, there's no such thing as miracles," Nicky interjected, resentful that fate could have played any part in her autonomy. "But I picked the place."  
Polly didn't turn away from Alex, but did follow the conversation. " _You_  did?"  
"Yeah. I've been before, and I thought, why the fuck not? The coffee here is decent."  
Polly nodded, eyes still leveled on Alex. "Have you been to their other site downtown? The coffee's better there."  
"We should go." Alex quirked an eyebrow at her, a suggestion of further time spent together, the implication of her being open to knowing Piper's friend better.  
"Not today. Piper and I had plans to spend today  _alone_."

Alex wanted to remind the diminutive woman before her that Piper was distinctly  _not her property,_  and that Piper was adult enough to make her own goddamn decisions, and…

"Another time then." She replied quietly. "It was nice to put a face to the name," Alex paused, wanting to close their conversation as smoothly as possible. " _Polly._ "  
There was a beat before Polly answered. "I'd say the same, but Piper already gave me a fairly detailed description." She rolled her eyes.  
Alex was so intrigued that she forgot to rein in her curiosity. "She talks about me?"

Polly softened.  
Alex seemed less like a college-level fuck boy when Piper was the focus, and for a moment, as the teacher glanced across to their mutual friend, a smile turning up the corners of her mouth, Polly caught a glimpse of someone she might not dislike after all

Piper was running her fingers around the rim of her coffee cup, apparently resigning herself to remaining behind, far removed even from the fringes of their conversation, and Alex understood why Holly -  _fuck,_   _Polly_  - might feel protective.  
She had already wondered more than once if Piper's was an easy heart to break, and she didn't wish to find out.

The thought had intruded late night on so many evenings since the creeping crush had climbed inside her head, and with each hour they spent together, the notion of she and Piper clambered closer to her chest, the surging, sanguine epicentre of every mistake she'd ever made.

Polly was lucky to be so close to Piper, and right to be cautious of callous newcomers.  
But Alex was luckier, careful, and incomparable to the gift of a girlfriend she'd been so lucky to gain only hours earlier.

If Piper was the sun, Alex was but a bonfire on a cold fall evening: fleeting, nothing more than an accumulation of kindling and a catalyst.  
Seldom were they present at the same time, and Piper's warmth and presence were far more valuable and welcome than Alex's fugacious novelty.

She was rambling internally, caught up for a moment in a non-existent quandary of her own creation; Shakespeare via Radiohead with a smattering of self-pitying, second-rate writer Meyer.

"She talks about me?" Alex repeated dumbly.  
"Both too much and too little." Polly replied, studying her. "It's like you're always on the tip of her tongue."

Nicky was present again at Alex's elbow - the elbow that had somehow started this whole conversation in its clumsiness, which Alex refused to accept as her own unless there was some sort of happy ending to this - inviting and imploring with surprising subtlety.

"So let's grab a drink sometime, yeah? It's been great." She prompted. Nicky had always been an excellent mediator where intoxicants could be concerned, and this was no exception.  
"Great." Polly echoed, nodding at Alex before starting to slip away through the tables.

* * *

Polly pulled her chair away from the table, and took great care in re-arranging her limbs as she placed herself back into her original seat.

"Well?"

She knew Piper would want answers, thoughts, opinions, but she'd have to wait.

She finished her drink.

She checked her nails.

She unlocked her phone.

She listened to the clock that hung above the coffee machine tick imperiously over their heads.

"Polly!"  
Polly glanced up impassively from her mobile. "Yes?"  
Piper groaned. "What happened over there?"  
"Well, I met your -"  
"Girlfriend." Piper blurted. "She's my girlfriend."  
"So it's official now." Polly phrased it as a statement, rather than a question, as though she had both the inquiry and the answer already.  
"I asked her last night. To be my girlfriend. She said yes."  
Polly tilted her head, left, and then right. It was as though she was sizing Piper up. "So I gather. It's nice that you have someone."

That was an unexpected response, but Piper took it and ran with it. "Do you like her?"  
"She seems nice enough. She  _definitely_ likes you."  
"What does that mean?"  
"You're the English teacher Piper. Surely you've encountered the word  _definitely_  before?"

Polly was teasing her, but Piper was impatient. Yes, Polly could be infuriating, but Piper still valued her opinion, and had done for years.

A disagreement over the suitability of a partner was nothing new, but the minutiae of their interaction was something she felt obligated to know.

"Were you mean to her?"  
Polly scoffed. "No Piper, I wasn't  _mean_  to her. We're adults. We talked. Or at least," She paused. "Marka Nichols' daughter talked, a lot. Alex just seemed to spend most of her time staring at you." Piper blushed. "But either way, we're going for a drink soon."  
"What?" The blonde blanched. She must have misheard.  
"Alex and I. And probably Nicky. They seem to come as a pair."  
"Why are you going for a drink?"  
Polly shrugged and smiled. "It was Alex's suggestion. Ask your  _girlfriend_."

* * *

Alex sat back down heavily, unaware that she'd even been standing for so long. She thumbed the worn wooden table they sat at, trailing her nail along the grooves in the sapwood surface.

"You okay Champ?" Nicky nudged her arm with the knuckles of a closed fist. "You handled that weirdly cosmopolitan confrontation surprisingly well."  
"I'm fine. It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be."  
"Yeah." Nicky finished the remains of her almost cold coffee. "I think she came for an argument, but I distracted her with my disarmingly good looks."

Alex's laugh was quiet, but the look she gave Nicky was grateful.

Many of the glances they'd exchanged since their friendship had started had been filled with gratitude, particularly after Alex's mother had passed. Nicky had become a surprisingly stoic rock in a storm Alex wasn't sure she could weather at the time, and they relied on one another now.

Appreciation wasn't something that either of them readily verbalised, but it was present nonetheless.

"You didn't need to speak to her for me." Alex murmured.  
"Pssh." Nicky dismissed the  _thank you_  that wasn't there. "You'd've done the same."  
"I'll buy you a beer next bar we hit."  
"Sure. Or…" Nicky hesitated, and Alex leaned in. Apprehension wasn't a trait Nicky displayed often, and Alex's curiosity had been piqued. "Maybe you could keep a low profile tonight?"  
A smirk spread across Alex's face. "Have you finally got company coming over?"  
"It's possible. Just do me a favour, and don't be a dick, 'kay?"  
"Would I ever?"

Nicky ignored Alex's rhetorical question, cramming the rest of her blueberry muffin into her mouth.

There were crude jokes to be made, but Alex let it slide. She owed Nicky one, for now.

* * *

Several stores later, and they were in the car again.

Nicky was driving this time, fingers beating against the sides of the steering wheel in time with the rhythm of the song playing.  
Her mobile buzzed repeatedly in her lap as message after message filtered through, and she glanced down, trying to see who was so insistently trying to contact her.

"Hey, can you check what that is for me?" Nicky asked.  
Alex leaned across the gap between their chairs and purloined the phone from between Nicky's thighs, pre-empting the innuendo she knew would be inevitable. "Nick, If you're going to keep your phone in your crotch, I'm going to have to go there."

Nicky pretended to appear forlorn, but Alex ignored her, unlocking the phone and opening the app.

Snapchat message after snapchat message lit up the digital display like a floodlight, and Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Want me to read them out?"  
"Sure, whatever." Nicky replied dismissively, but Alex could feel her suppressing enthusiasm.  
"Okay, first one says:  _what time do you want me to cum?_ , with 'cum' spelt c-u-m." Alex reserved the right to judge Nicky's choice in women later. "Second one says  _I mean come lol_ , but this time  _come_  is spelt -"  
"Yeah, yeah." Nicky interrupted. "I get the picture. Anything else?"  
"It's from someone called  _StellaC_. Wait, don't we work with a Stella? Isn't it that music teacher?"

Nicky kept her eyes on the road. She'd already felt pretty trashy even agreeing to this, but having her friend read the messages aloud felt extra cheap.

"Oh wait, there's a picture." Alex paused, tapping the screen. "It's - oh, woah!" Fumbling with the phone, Alex dropped the device into the footwell and crossed her arms, staring off into the middle distance as she did her best to forget what she'd just seen.  
"What? It's what?"  
"It's gross." Alex's distaste was evident.  
"What? Nudy Judy?"  
"Let's just those tattoos don't stop at her arms."  
Nicky let out a low whistle. "Pity you opened it. I don't think I can see it again now."  
"I'm sure you'll see it in the flesh tonight." Alex muttered scathingly.

They continued further down the road, headlights and taillights drifting away into the late afternoon as a crepuscular darkness crept in around the edges of their day.

Alex broke the soft silence that settled around them like a blanket, an insurmountable question burrowing inside her brain.

"I'm sorry, just to clarify, are you  _fucking_ the new music teacher?"  
Nicky laughed. "Not yet."

Alex could remember the way Piper had looked at Stella on their first night together. She wasn't sure she wanted the music teacher to be at their house too often.  
She was probably over-thinking things.  
That didn't negate the thought.

Checking her own notification-less phone, Alex ran her hand through her hair. "I think I'm going to get an early night."  
The car crunched into their driveway and ground to a halt.

Nicky did her best not to make eye contact as she gathered her things. "You okay?"  
She didn't like to intrude when Alex wasn't feeling great - low moods and anxiety were commonplace between them - but she still cared.  
"I was gonna make a some food. And by  _food_ , I mean pizza. And by  _make,_ I mean reheat."  
"I'm okay. I've got some papers to mark and some stuff to read. Besides, I've got to make myself scarce tonight." Alex tossed a wan smile in her friend's direction. "But I might join you for a glass of wine once you're done with Down Under."  
"I think I'll be too busy  _down under_  for that."  
Alex placed her palm flat on her stomach, looking ill. "That was probably the worst thing you've ever said. I do  _not_  want to hear about you guys having sex."  
"Australians don't have sex, Vause." Nicky gave her a knowing look. "They  _mate_."  
Alex laughed in spite of herself. "You disgust me."


	22. Things Fall Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my favourite things about this fic is that there seems to be a really vocal 30/70 split between readers who desperately want to see some Stella/Piper action, and readers who would cut me if I dared to include such a thing.
> 
> For the record, I think Stella's a really interesting character, and while I think her inclusion in S3 wasn't entirely necessary, it did allow for some curious Piper character development.  
> Anyway.  
> Replies to reviews after the next chapter.  
> Thanks for still reading - feedback is always appreciated.

 

Alex emerged from her room after several hours.

She had tried headphones.  
She had tried sleeping through it.  
She had even tried covering her head with a pillow.  
But somebody in the room opposite hers was just a  _little_  too loud to be drowned out.  
She wondered idly if this might be revenge for her own activities in the kitchen the night before - Nicky's bed was unfortunately positioned directly above the dining table. She'd make enquiries the next morning.

Regardless of the reason for her disturbed (or should that be  _disturbing_?) evening, Alex knew she needed to be proactive in her response.  
She knew Nicky's moans fairly well. She therefore also knew that whoever was causing a ruckus  _wasn't_  her housemate.  
 _Great_ , she mused.  _Another reason to dislike the gizzard of Oz_.  
For a music teacher, Stella was seriously off key.

There was a lull in their activities, which Alex willed herself not to think about, and she took the opportunity to leave her room, sneaking down the stairs as quietly as she could.

Maybe she'd go for a walk.  
It was raining a little and the sun was setting, but neither bothered her.  
In fact, both made a wander (around the ridiculous acreage in Nicky's possession) seem all the more appealing.

As she reached the foot of the stairs, a noise from the kitchen startled her.  
Heart in her mouth, headphone cable wound around the knuckles of her right hand like the worst boxing wrap known to man, Alex took a deep breath and opened the door.

She was greeted by a barely covered ass, body bent double as the stranger rooted through their fridge, long black tshirt only covering the skin below her waist.  
Alex wasn't sure how to proceed.  
The body was tanned, tattoos everywhere, and Alex realised with reluctance that this wasn't a stranger after all.

" _Stella_." She tried to keep the resentment from her voice, and barely succeeded.  
The woman stood up, a bottle of beer in each hand. Turning to face Alex, closing the fridge door with her foot and a familiarity that Alex irrationally loathed, Stella grinned. "Hey, Alex."  
There was a second's hesitation between the greeting and the noun, as though Stella had to take a moment to remember whose house she was in.

"You grabbing a beer?"  
The answer was self evident, and Stella looked from the speaker to the bottles and back again. Condensation dripped from the chilled brown glass onto the floor by her feet, droplets filling the unsociable silence.  
"Yeah. You know Nicky." The music teacher replied after a beat, shrugging as though the existence of their mutual friend somehow answered Alex's query. "I brought the beers with me though. If that thaws this iciness in any way."  
Alex resented the implication - despite the truth in it - and bristled. "I'm not icy."  
"Maybe not." Stella shrugged, heading towards the doorway that Alex still occupied. "But you're not my biggest fan."  
"I don't hate you." Alex replied, voice as level and even as she could keep it.  
"Yeah, but you don't  _love_  me either." Stella smirked, indifferent. "And it's not like there's a big difference between the two emotions anyhow."

Stella was standing front of Alex now, and Alex began to realise that this was a petty and pointless dislike she'd developed from a single instance.  
Everybody had been drunk that night.  
Stella was probably trying to ingratiate herself.  
Piper was dating Alex now. That should be enough reassurance.

"I'm glad you came over." Alex forced a smile onto her face, and Stella smothered her suspicions with an equally false emotion. "Nicky seems to like your company."  
"Maybe too much. Sorry if I kept you up."  
Alex warmed a little. "I'm placing the blame squarely on Nicky's shoulders. You're in the clear."  
"She is a great scapegoat." Stella laughed, marginally less awkward than she'd been before. "Hey, Chapman not here tonight?"  
Alex didn't like Stella's casual use of Piper's surname, like they were age old sorority friends, but she brushed it off. "You missed her. She left a few hours ago."  
"Pity." Stella pushed into the same space as Alex, and they were now face to face in the doorway, Alex's back against the wooden doorframe, splines meeting spine. "She's cute. Would've been good to see her."

Brushing against Alex's arm as she passed, the chilled beers soaking through the fabric of Alex's shirt, Stella began to climb the stairs.  
"Help yourself to a beer." She called over her shoulder. "It's your house, after all."

If she said anything else, it was drowned out by Nicky's apparent enthusiasm at her return, a loud greeting rolling down the steps in Stella's wake as a bedroom door creaked open.

Alex clasped a hand over her damp sleeve, trying to warm the cold threads with her palm.  
That throwaway comment about Piper had rattled her, just when she'd been ready to settle for mild irritation in place of her clear-cut contempt.  
Had it been purposeful? An intentionally inflammatory inquiry?

She walked through the kitchen and opened the back door, letting the cooling evening air creep over her like a realisation.  
The jury was still out on Stella, she decided. She didn't need a verdict yet.  
And if she made Nicky feel good, then…

Her conclusion was cut short as a loud expletive cut through the quiet, epithets hanging like wind chimes outside Nicky's open window above her.

_So much for an intermission._

For fear of hearing more, the soft susurration of skin on skin and the aftermath of each copulatory carom, Alex set out across the grass, relishing each ridiculous obfuscated word she could muster to smother the feelings of inadequacy next to Stella's apparently effortless cool.

Scrolling through the music on her phone and reappropriating her headphones from their impromptu wrap around her fist, she found Sleater-Kinney's "One More Hour" and turned up the volume.

The less of the outside world she heard, the better.

* * *

Nicky opened her eyes reluctantly.  
She was not ready for it to be morning.  
She wasn't even really ready for it to be Sunday.  
But then again, when was  _anybody_  ready for Sunday?

Stella lay almost motionless beside her, the only giveaway that she still survived was the slow rise and fall of her chest.

Nicky's phone buzzed again, the initial alert being the reason she'd awoken in the first place.  
It was a text.  
It was from Morello.  
If Nicky didn't understand irony before, the concept was becoming clearer.

 _U up? Xxxxx  
_ Nicky raised herself up onto her elbows.  _Yeah. What's up?  
_ Morello's reply was almost instant  _No kisses? Xxxxx  
_ Nicky rolled her eyes involuntarily. The demand for digital affection felt a little rich coming from a woman who wouldn't return her calls.  
 _Sorry. You okay? X_

Nicky begrudgingly added an x to the end of the message to pacify the recipient, but she was reluctant to show too much interest. It was her interest in Morello that had landed her in this predicament now.

_Boo invited some people from work to the DeMarco's this afternoon. Want to come?_

Nicky hadn't been invited, but this wasn't an uncommon occurrence. Boo would mention it to whoever she thought likely to pass the invite on. Morello was a sure thing, when it came to spreading information at least.

_Maybe. I'll see what Vause is up to. X_

Stella stirred beside her, and Nicky hurriedly tossed her phone onto the floor beside the bed.

"Morning."  
Nicky grinned at the accent and repeated the greeting.  
"You want a coffee, or, uh…" she hadn't anticipated having to cater for a fuck buddy, and stalled, hoping that Stella would simply see herself out.  
"Nah, I've got to go." Stella ran a lazy hand through her tousled hair. "Thanks for pretending to give a shit though."

She grinned and rolled off the bed, gathering items of discarded clothing from the pile Nicky had contributed to the evening before.  
"I  _totally_  give a shit. I'll have you know that I'm a caring and considerate lover." Nicky sat up in bed, humour clear in her tone.  
"Maybe don't put that on your business card just get." Stella smirked. "False advertising'll land you in court." Still naked, she stopped by the bed to give Nicky a kiss on the cheek. "You get the award for least awkward one night stand though."

Padding over to the exit, Stella gestured vaguely in Nicky's direction. "You've got a hickey."  
Nicky began to assess the damage as Stella swung the door open. "I think you bit me too."  
Stella shrugged as best she could with armfuls of clothes. "You gave as good as you got."

Grinning, she left.

Nicky didn't know what to do.  
Stella was clearly under no illusion about their evening.  
And suddenly Lorna was back in the picture. Sort of.

Nicky heard the front door slam closed.

Was there even anything to contemplate?

There was only one person who could help her here.

Slumping back down under the covers, Nicky called Alex's name.

"AL?"  
"WHAT?" The answering holler was distant, muffled. Alex must've just woken up.  
"GET IN HERE."  
"I'M IN BED."  
"ME TOO."

Stalemate.

There was a pause.

"ARE YOU OKAY?"  
"I DON'T KNOW." Nicky yelled, amusement fading as the realisation occurred to her.

Silence reigned for a few seconds, followed by footsteps across the oak floorboards of the landing. Nicky's door creaked open.

"Is it safe?" Alex looked around the room in mock suspicion. "Or is the music maestro just hiding in the wardrobe to assault me with her hipster haircut and effortless androgyny?"  
"Ha ha." Nicky answered drily. "She's surprisingly interesting, if you can get past the ink."  
Alex seemed skeptical, but sat on the edge of the bed regardless, making sure to keep the blanket between her body and last night's bedsheets. "Yeah, you seemed  _pretty_ interested in her." She adjusted her glasses and leaned back against the headboard. "What's up anyway?"  
Nicky sighed. "Morello sent me a message. Well, several, actually."

Alex was surprised. She had become so accustomed to her housemate moping around from the absence of communication gifted by Lorna Morello that she'd forgotten there was an alternative.

"Fuck. What'd she say?"  
"She wants to know if we want to get a drink this afternoon." Nicky paraphrased, knowing Alex might not want to come if she knew who had devised the gathering.  
"Huh. Do you want to go?"  
Nicky hesitated. "I got work to do, but… Yeah."  
"Work?  _You_?" Alex teased. Nicky was not known for her work ethic.  
"Yeah, it's an art piece representing the futility of blue-collar labor in a technological age. And vaginas."  
Alex raised an eyebrow. "Papers to mark?"  
"Papers to mark." Nicky confirmed. "But I could grab a beer."  
"You can always grab a beer."  
"Sometimes I can drink one too." Nicky stretched, arms above her head as she smothered a yawn with her follow-up sentence. "So we going or what?"  
"Sure. I got my work done last night. Just say when."

Alex stood up and made for the door before Nicky called her back.

"Hey, you wanna do my work too? Save me the heartache?"  
"I'm pretty sure drink with Morello will be a bigger cause of heartache. But I'll be around after to pick up the pieces."

Alex left, and Nicky opened Lorna's messages again.  
She hoped it wouldn't come to that.

* * *

Wandering into the kitchen, Polly tracked down the source of the incessant buzzing.  
Piper had abandoned her phone on the work surface to avoid distraction while she marked papers, and she seemed to have been quite popular in her absence.

Tapping the phone's central button as she waited for her coffee, Polly thumbed through the messages on the screen. There were several from Alex, and one from someone named Stella.  
Locking the device, she pocketed it.

"Piper?" Polly called from the kitchen, hoping Piper could hear her over the 'Working Girl' soundtrack blasting from the movie the blonde was pretending not to watch.  
"What?"  
"You've got some texts."  
"From who?"  
"Mike Nichols. He said you should stop watching shitty rom-coms and start marking papers."

Polly found that one of the benefits of working from home was that she got a lot of movies watched under the guise of 'background noise'. Pointless movie knowledge was becoming a forte.

Piper sounded disgruntled. "I  _am_  marking papers! Who's Mike?"  
"Mike Nichols? He directed Working Girl, and The Graduate, and Closer and - "  
"Wait, Mike who?" Confusion reigned.  
"Mike hat." Polly countered, no interest in clarifying as she grabbed her freshly brewed coffee from the counter and headed through to where Piper sat, surrounded by papers.  
"My cat?" The blonde looked up at her roommate, perplexed.  
"I just made two smart movie jokes and you totally missed them both."  
"Sorry Pol. I was concentrating on my marking."  
"Mm." Polly's acknowledgement dripped with doubt, but she set her drink down nonetheless, handing Piper her phone. "You have messages."  
"Oh!" Piper seemed pleased. Checking her notifications, she glanced up. "Alex wants to know if we'd like to grab a drink later."

"Have you finished your marking?"  
"Yes, Mom." Piper rolled her eyes, grinning. "Well,  _almost_. But she doesn't want to meet until later anyway."  
"I suppose drinks out wouldn't be the  _worst_ thing."  
"So that's a yes? You'll come?"  
Polly took a sip of her coffee - it was still too hot, but she'd committed to the act under the guise of nonchalance by that point. "Okay."

She turned her gaze to the television, wanting to downplay the decision. She knew Piper would be grateful, and she was right.

Piper scrambled to her feet, scattering papers everywhere as she threw herself onto the sofa next to her friend, a kid at Christmas. She wrapped an arm around Polly.

"Yes!"  
"But you're buying."  
"That is so fine."  
"I'll want expensive drinks."  
Piper sat back and pulled a face. "You're being nice - don't ruin it."

* * *

The bar was busy by the time they arrived, but Piper spotted Nicky almost immediately.  
Nicky waved through the crowd, and used her elbows to propel herself towards the newcomers eagerly.

"Chapman! Chapman's brunette friend!" She greeted them both, giving Piper a brief hug and punching Polly in the shoulder in an overly familiar manner.  
"It's Polly." Polly responded, raising her voice over the din, doing her best to hide her distaste at the greeting for Piper's sake.

Alex was seated on a long bench next to Red, who was regaling those gathered nearby with an obscure tale about the Russian mafia and her ex-husband.  
The matriarch rose to her feet and clasped Piper's hands warmly when she saw her.

"Alex told me all about your evening together. Welcome to the fold!"  
Alex swiftly stepped forward. "I literally just told her that we're dating. She seems to have taken it as a marriage proposal."  
"You want to deny an old woman her happiness?" Red grumbled, chiding Alex with a glance, before noticing Polly and moving past the couple to make her acquaintance.

The two English teachers aimed for the bartenders, barely visible through the throng of patrons, and Alex bought Piper and Polly a drink.

"Are you trying to ingratiate yourself?" Polly inquired with a wry smile.  
"With you or with  _her_?" Alex answered, tilting her head in the direction of Polly, who had just sat down in Alex's seat.  
Piper moved closer, reply soft, and Alex took a long, slow inhalation. "You've already ingratiated yourself with  _me_."

She felt a warmth building in the pit of her stomach as Piper held her eye contact.

Everything around them faded into the background, the smell of Piper's perfume enveloping Alex like a warm blanket, her slightly parted lips offering Alex an invitation that was difficult to turn down.

There was a myriad of corridors in this place, a backstage area for touring bands, so many quiet, hidden areas where they could hide themselves away, even just for a few minutes…

As they stepped closer again, Alex's beer bottle clinked gently against Piper's glass, breaking the tension. The sound in the room abruptly returned to its normal level, the voices of their colleagues loud around them.

"We should -  _I_ should..." Piper sighed and turned back to the group gathered behind them. "Fuck, where's Polly?"  
Alex stretched up onto her toes, using her height to see over those around her, a relieved smile on her face as she returned to Piper's level. "She's fine, she's with Sophia.""Who?"  
"Bursett, hair and beauty?"  
"Oh! She was nice to me once."

Alex craned her neck to peer through the gathering. "I still think it's weird that we offer hair and beauty at somewhere that's supposed to be such a prestigious academy."  
"There can be prestige in hair and beauty." Piper shrugged, smiling.

Alex paused. She hadn't meant that hair and beauty should be less respected than more traditionally academic subjects, only that somewhere with such stringent entry requirements was unlikely to offer such an opportunity.  
It made her smile to know that Piper was a fervent supporter of more vocational routes.

A wave of nausea washed over her as Alex suddenly recalled her mother's brief stint at a nail salon, the smell of methyl methacrylate rich in her hair and clothes as she'd walk in through the door, Chinese takeout in a brown paper bag and the biggest smile Alex had ever known as the woman promised her daughter that this was a turning point -  _a real job, baby!_  - and that things were sure to change…

They had been evicted a week later.

Piper's palm in the small of her back made her blink: once, twice, back to the present, not sure for how many seconds exactly she'd been elsewhere, swallowing past the lump in her throat. Tears prickled but she smiled in spite of herself, allowing Piper to guide her back to their friends.

Nicky moved through the congregation towards them, a flash of recognition in her eyes at the expression on Alex's face, but Alex nodded at her and Nicky kept walking, the knuckles of her free hand brushing against Alex's in recognition as they passed.

Nicky would check in with her later.  
Piper had her, and there were plenty of things to distract her.

Nicky was relieved, not just for her friend, but for the sight of a diminutive brunette she spied entering the establishment, bright red lipstick against ivory skin.  
Lorna Morello had arrived, and Nicky had so many questions.

* * *

"Now, you have very thick hair. Have people told you that before?"  
Sophia was running her fingers through Polly's hair as Piper reached their table, setting the drink down in front of her friend, next to an already half-empty glass.  
"They have! My hairdresser is always saying how nice she thinks it is."  
"So you must be careful with conditioning it..."

Piper turned away from the table, eyes locking with Boo across the room. She wasn't interested in indulging Polly - she did that enough when they were at home together. Her roommate seemed happy enough.  
Boo, on the other hand, wore a wicked grin, lips curling at the corners like a rictus, haunting the darkened edges of the bar like some sort of ghost from a Walpole novel.

Emerging from the corner she'd found to lurk in, she headed straight for them.

"Matchmaker, matchmaker, I found a match."  
Her arms were wide in a gesture that on any other person would've been an invitation. Coming from Boo, it seemed almost threatening.  
"Can we help you?" Alex bristled upon her arrival, and Piper remembered the oddness of Alex's response to Boo's interactions from Friday, too.  
"Just wanted to see how the lovebirds are doing. I'm feeling a little..." Boo paused, as though weighing her words carefully. "Self-congratulatory. Sybaritic, if you're feeling fancy."  
Alex cocked an eyebrow, and Piper watched the two dark haired women hesitantly.  
"Why's that?" Piper gave her curiosity a voice, and felt Alex's fingers tighten almost imperceptibly around hers in a hold she didn't even realise they'd shared.  
"It doesn't matter." Alex's voice was so low, Piper thought she'd imagined the words.

Her girlfriend's jaw was tight, tension evident, the muscles in her neck taut.  
Piper wondered what it might be like to sink her teeth into them, perhaps later, but Boo revoked Alex's declarative with fervour, overruling Piper's idle idolatry with a loud, mocking retort.

"Oh, but it  _does_  matter. See, Alex wouldn't have even looked twice at you, if it hadn't been for our little wager."

" _That pageant queen's never touched a pussy in her life." Boo remarked from the back door, stubbing her cigarette butt against the outer wall and dropping the filter into an empty plant pot. Alex did her best to seem as disinterested as possible, doing her best to deter Boo from targeting the newcomer.  
_ _"No?"  
_ " _Chapman was a bicurious college girl, at best."  
_ _Alex rose from her seat, closing in on Boo, beer bottle cradled in her right hand as she extended her left towards the woman leaning against the doorframe. If she could get in first, Boo would take the challenge. "Fifty says you're wrong."  
_ _Boo was evidently taken aback by the bet, but compensated with a filthy laugh and a forthright handshake, sealing the deal. "You're on, Vause. Let's hope you know something I don't, for your sake."_

Piper laughed self-consciously. "What is this,  _Pygmalion_?"

Alex was pale beside her, and Boo drained the last of her bourbon with relish.  
The blonde could feel her colleague's palm against her own, clammy and all-too warm, and as Boo placed a taunting hand on her shoulder, she felt sick.  
The Economics teacher pulled her in close, her lips against Piper's ear, hot breath tickling her skin as her stomach lurched.

"Maybe she can take you out to apologise with the fifty you earnt her."

Boo pulled back with relish, and pushed a rolled fifty dollar bill into the neck of Alex's beer bottle.

"Alex," Piper hated that she sounded so scared, but she couldn't smother the anxiety bubbling up inside of her chest. "What's going on?"  
"C'mon Vause." Boo stepped back, hands on hips like a circus ringmaster. "I  _bet_  you've got something to say."

Alex swallowed hard.  _She had some explaining to do_.


	23. The Tell-Tale Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If a Vauseman narrative was all plain sailing, it would be unrealistic and dull. Nobody wants to read the fanfic equivalent of a bad cup of tea. (I think that's my British coming out.)
> 
> This is not a Stella/Piper fic, and I'll be honest, I don't even know what the fic name for that is. Carpman? Stiper? Gross.
> 
> Special thanks to my friend Ruth who helped out with the Spanish. Seriously, thanks.

 

"... Alex wouldn't have even looked twice at you, if it hadn't been for our little wager." Boo grinned, as she drained the last of her bourbon with relish.

" _That pageant queen's never touched a pussy in her life." Boo remarked from the back door, stubbing her cigarette butt against the outer wall and dropping the filter into an empty plant pot. Alex did her best to seem as disinterested as possible. "No?"  
_ " _Chapman was a bicurious college girl, at best."  
_ _Alex rose from her seat, closing in on Boo, beer bottle cradled in her right hand as she extended her left towards the woman leaning against the doorframe. "Fifty says you're wrong."  
_ _Boo was evidently taken aback by the bet, but compensated with a filthy laugh and a forthright handshake, sealing the deal. "You're on, Vause. Let's hope you know something I don't, for your sake."_

Piper laughed self-consciously. "What is this,  _Pygmalion_?"

Alex was pale beside her, and the blonde could feel her colleague's palm against her own, clammy and all-too warm.  
As Boo placed a taunting hand on her shoulder, she felt sick.

The Economics teacher pulled her in close, her lips against Piper's ear, hot breath tickling her skin as her stomach lurched.  
"Maybe she can take you out to apologise with the fifty you earnt her."

Boo pulled back and produced her wallet from her pocket, pushing a rolled fifty dollar bill into the neck of Alex's beer bottle with glee.

"Alex," Piper hated that she sounded so scared, but she couldn't smother the anxiety bubbling up inside her chest. "What's going on?"  
The noise of the bar filled the stillness that followed, as Boo looked from one to the other: Piper's panicked expression a perfect juxtaposition to Alex's blank stare.

"Well," Boo sighed, sounding disappointed. "This is more depressing than a Tori Amos cover band. Have a nice night, ladies."  
If she had been wearing a fedora, she would've tipped it.

Boo pushed past Alex roughly in her exit, jostling her shoulder, deed done for the evening.  
Piper's gaze followed Boo as she headed for the door, lighting a cigarette before stepping outside.

She couldn't bear to turn back to Alex, whose hand she still held.

This evening had gone from a few drinks to a nightmare; maybe in the next scene she'd be naked at work, or her teeth would be falling out.  
Right now, both of those felt better than this betrayal.

Alex stared down into her bottle where the fifty sat snugly, coiled like a snake.  
Her heart was pounding in her chest and her feet were cold, reliving the feeling of missing a step in the dark. It wasn't like she didn't have options - she just didn't know which would be the path of least resistance.

"Is it true?" Piper's voice was shaking. " _Alex_? Did you and Boo bet on me? On the likelihood of us having sex? What's going on?"

Alex wanted nothing more than to burrow beneath the ground and bury herself in the grave of her own bravado.  
Each time Piper sounded her name, it sounded worse and worse, discordant and aching.  
She heard Piper taking deep breaths beside her, and mustered enough courage to look up.  
Piper was crying.

"I am so fucking stupid." The blonde slipped her fingers out of Alex's, hand trembling as she roughly knuckled the tears from her eyes. "What is  _wrong_  with me?"  
"Hey…" Alex stepped towards her numbly, reaching out to offer comfort, but Piper backed away, shaking her head, hair falling about her face like the curtain closing on a play.  
"It's so easy to convince yourself that you're something you're not. You can just keep yourself so busy you don't have to face who you really are. I've been so good at doing that. But I thought here, with you, I could be  _me_."  
"Piper - "  
"No." Piper interjected. "I feel more like me when I'm with you than I do when I'm with me. I thought you were different." She spat the words out like an accusation, as though she was angry at Alex for somehow making her happy, despite the outcome. "I thought I could be with you without having to worry about being taken home like a trophy to someone's parents. I thought maybe I could spend the night with you without wondering who you would high-five the next morning. And I think the worst part is that you made me feel like I was  _worth_ something." Piper's voice was rising in volume, and people were starting to quiet behind them, conversations closing abruptly as onlookers and colleagues paused to listen. "I'm not just some cool story at a yuppie fucking cocktail party, and I am  _not_  your fucking wager. Those things we did Alex, you and me, that wasn't adventure. That was -  _is_ \- my life."

Alex realised slowly that Piper was a roaring ocean, so silent and still on the surface, but in possession of tumultuous waves waiting to roll in, so dark with deep uncharted depths that maybe nobody would ever reach the bottom.

Piper was full to the brim, and now she was spilling over.

Alex couldn't compare. She was the contrast, an empty shell of a person, a ship capsized, an albatross of a mistake around her shoulders like a mantle, lucky to be even allowed to drown in the shallows of a person like Piper Chapman.

"Pipes, please..."  
Piper shook her head. She felt betrayed. "No, Alex. Don't even bother. We're done here."

Placing her half-finished cocktail on the nearest table, the blonde turned on her heel, and left.

Alex pushed her fingers through her hair, fringe splayed out between her digits.  
She stared at the bar's ceiling, peeling band posters and beer stains almost smothering the old wooden planks.  
This place had seen better days.  
So, it seemed, had she.

" _La senda de la virtud es estrecha y el camino del vicio, ancho y espacioso, sí?_ "

Alex was aware at the voice at her shoulder, and flinched.  
"I don't speak Spanish." She replied lamely, as Gloria Mendoza passed judgement behind her.  
"I'm just saying, it's difficult to be nice, but it seems easy to be an asshole,  _si_?"  
"Helpful." Alex muttered through gritted teeth.  
"I'm not here to help you, blanca. You fucked up. I'm just giving you some wisdom before you fuck it up some more."  
Alex turned towards her angrily. "And what should I be doing, huh? How can I possibly fix this?"  
" _Go after her._ " Gloria gestured towards the door pointedly.  
Alex sighed. "I'm not sure how good that idea is."  
"Well how do you know if you don't try?"

* * *

Piper broke out into the crisp evening air, the city surprisingly quiet around her.  
The streets were almost empty, and it took her a moment to remember that it was a Sunday night.  
She had to return to work tomorrow.  
With Alex.  
 _Fuck_.

This was all a little too much to deal with right now.

Her head was swimming.

She crouched down against the wall of the building, concentrating on measuring her breathing.  
Piper tried to calm herself, revisiting a technique a counsellor had taught the anxious awkward adolescent version of her.

 _What could she see?  
_ A car passed by.

 _What could she hear?  
_ Somewhere down the street, a door opened and music spilled out into its surroundings, smothered by the too-loud laughter of drunken women still singing the song they'd just left behind.

 _What could she feel?_  
Piper balled her fists into the jumper she was wearing. It was soft, and somehow reassuring.  
Her thighs burned from the crouch, haunches ready to call it a night.

A tear fell from her chin and spattered softly against the concrete beneath her.  
She laughed involuntarily at the sound, and soon the laughter bubbled up inside her. Her predicament seemed so silly, so teen movie.  
The mirth faded as she acknowledged how dumb she was, to have not realised how how deep into Alex she had fallen.

She  _really_  liked Alex, and she had been so sure it was reciprocal.  
Piper found herself rallying, anger at herself swiftly shifting into a hot white frustration aimed exclusively at Alex.

Regardless of the terms and conditions of Alex's wager with Boo, it wasn't just a little banter between friends. It was a summary of the worth Piper perceived Alex placed on her, and the worth she gave herself.  
She was only 'worth' fifty dollars?  
Fuck that. No.  
She wasn't interested in having her value determined by someone who treated her like a game, who used her as a tool for oneupmanship.

The trembling in her hands was subsiding.  
She felt a little less anxious now.  
Her chest still heaved, but the dizziness diminished.  
The frustration helped her focus.

The door to the bar swung open unceremoniously, and Alex barrelled out onto the sidewalk unsteadily, beer still in hand.  
"Piper?"

Piper rose to her feet, head fuzzy as she stood up far too fast.  
She placed the flat of her palms against the warm bricks behind her, rough against her skin.

She was still rational enough to recognise that, with some explanation, this issue may not be as significant as it initially seemed.  
She knew that her own lived experiences were impacting upon her response, perhaps blowing it a little out of proportion: if a dozen other fuck boys hadn't already treated her the way it seemed Alex had, the brunette would be given the benefit of the doubt.

Alex  _did_  deserve a chance to talk.  
But not tonight.  
Not now.

Pushing away from the side of the building with clenched fists and tear-streaked cheeks, she shook her head.  
"Go home, Alex."  
"Piper, I -"  
"She said  _go home_." Polly appeared behind her, the door creaking open as she slipped out of the busy bar and into the almost silent street. "She doesn't want to talk to you."  
Alex seemed affronted. "This is between Piper and I."  
"No," Polly was in front of her now, moving to bridge the gap between them. "The moment you hurt her, you made it my business too. And I think you should leave."

Polly turned away from Alex, wrapping her arms around her friend.  
Piper buried her face in Polly's neck, shoulders heaving, sobs barely muffled, the dam broken.

Alex's own eyes filled, and she pulled the bar door open begrudgingly.

* * *

Nicky was in a booth near the entrance, arm looped around a giggling Morello.  
Alex wondered bitterly if they'd pulled together as she and Piper had fallen apart.  
Somebody had to be happy, she supposed.

Sidling up to the pair in as casual a manner as she could manage, she kept her eyes averted as she spoke up.  
"Hey, uh…" What was her plan? She didn't even know what she was trying to say. "I'm gonna head home."  
Nicky didn't even look up. "Yeah, sure thing Stretch. I'll see you there."

Alex went to walk away, but hesitated.  
She  _really_  didn't want to intrude on Nicky's long-overdue success, but she could do with a friend right now.

"Nick?"  
Nicky sighed audibly but tore herself away from Morello. "Yeah?"  
Her evident frustration melted the second she saw Alex, and she slid out of her seat.  
"I need to get out of here."  
Nicky rubbed Alex's shoulder. "Okay. That's okay. We can do that."

Nicky spun back to Lorna, who seemed a little deflated.  
"Rain check?"  
Morello nodded. "That's okay. I need to get home anyway. Got lots of driver's educational things to prepare. Should probably practice my driving too."  
Nicky nodded slowly, making a mental note to enquire politely about that particular statement later, and grabbed her jacket.

"Okay Vause, let's go."

* * *

Piper was silent in the taxi, and Polly knew better than to broach the issue.

She turned on the television when they reached home, but didn't sit down.  
She wanted to help.

"You want a drink Pipes?"  
Piper shrugged. "I should probably go to bed."  
"If that's what you want to do."  
Piper shrugged again. "I don't know. I don't even…" Her voice hitched, and she took several deep breaths, her empty hands closing into fists before opening again.  
"We don't have to talk about it," Polly ventured. "But I'm here when you're ready to."  
Piper nodded, the smallest of smiles barely visible.

"I just… I just want to understand. I thought Alex  _liked_ me."  
Polly wandered from the living room into the kitchen, raising her voice to carry the conversation. "I think she still does. But… People can be assholes."

Piper padded into the room behind her like a lost puppy, and leant back against the wall, watching as Polly busied herself by placing a pan of milk on the stove top.  
"I'm so embarrassed." Piper ventured hesitantly. "I feel like such a fool. I thought I knew her, and that she was better than that. Maybe I'm just letting my increasingly high hopes for perfection get in the way of the fact that people can be so fucking  _flawed_." She was rambling now, but couldn't find it in herself to care. "I let myself be so caught up in all the excitement of someone so new and so lovely..."  
She tailed off, fingers tugging at the fraying hem of her top.

She felt lost and hopeless.

"She clearly cares for you." Polly remarked quietly. "That's obvious enough."  
Piper eyed her suspiciously. "Why are you being so reasonable? I thought you didn't like her."  
Polly looked up from her preoccupation with a sad smile. "No, I don't. But I know you do. And that's more important."

* * *

Alex stood by the back door morosely, smoking her fourth or fifth cigarette in a row.  
She wasn't counting: she didn't care.

Nicky was sitting on the steps behind her, revisiting Snapchat and enjoying Morello's addition to her tiny contact list.  
There had been little exchanged between them - and definitely nothing on the level of her interactions with Stella - but Nicky was content to exchange ridiculously filtered photographs and arbitrary emojis.

Stubbing out her tab against the bricks, Alex pushed past Nicky gracelessly and paced around the kitchen.  
The silence between the two women, who had existed within arm's reach of one another for an hour now and yet said nothing, was companionable in spite of the saturnine atmosphere of the evening.  
But it could only last for so long, and Alex was becoming restless.

The smoking had killed some time.  
The Sonic Youth album humming in the background had helped.  
What now?

She wasn't tired.  
Her mind raced, and she was still fostering a maelstrom of feelings that she hadn't figured out how to give up for adoption yet.

Nicky entered the kitchen and closed the back door behind her, offering Alex a tentative smile as she took a seat at the table.  
"You okay Champ?"  
Alex didn't offer a verbal reply, but served Nicky a discouraging eyebrow raise instead.  
"Yeah, I didn't really know what else to say." Nicky shrugged, falling back into her usual grin. "You wanna talk or what?"

Alex sat down opposite her, heavy with the burden of a decision she couldn't un-make.  
"I can't go back and change what I did. My best bet was to hope Piper didn't hear about it, because like hell if honesty would help. And now she knows anyway."  
Nicky slid off her stool and gave Alex an affectionate elbow in the ribs as the passed her, pulling two highball glasses and a bottle of bourbon out of a cupboard in the corner of the room.  
"You did something fucked up. Nobody's expecting you to go back in time and fix it." Returning to her seat and filling each glass with a single approximated measure, she slid one of the drinks over to Alex. "But she  _does_  probably deserve an explanation."  
"I tried that. She told me to go away."  
"Yeah," Nicky scoffed involuntarily. "Probably because you'd just publicly humiliated her in front of colleagues who didn't even know you were in an item." She took a long, slow sip of her drink. "She's still pretty much a newbie. She's barely settled into her job, let alone her relationship. And then you make a decision that compromises both of those things in one go?"

Nicky's voice was rising now - she thought she would automatically fall into Camp Alex like she always did, but thinking about the whole encounter in context made her feel pretty shitty for Piper.  
She had forgotten how thoughtless Alex could be at times, and couldn't help but reflect back onto her own quixotic quandary.

Nicky had initially thought she knew exactly what to expect from Morello, even after their limited encounters. Finding the rug pulled from beneath her feet after their evening together had been discomforting.  
Finding that Lorna wasn't the person she'd expected - instead revealing herself to be a very indecisive young woman who favoured ghosting over honesty - was an eerie and impractical parallel to Piper's own puzzle.

Nicky may not be able to hold Morello accountable for her behaviour, but Alex would surely listen to reason.

"Look," Nicky placed her cup down a little more heavily than she'd intended to. "The thing about reality is that it's still waiting there for you the next morning. And the other thing waiting for you in the morning is Piper."  
Alex drained her drink and watched Nicky steadily. "No shit, Sherlock."  
"So all you've got to do is figure out what you're gonna say when she asks you why you did it." Alex was already running her hand through her hair, but Nicky pressed on. "So why  _did_ you do it?"  
The brunette sighed. "There's a lot of deixis in there for a drunk person, Nick."  
"What, you're a lightweight now? Fuck that. I want to know  _why_ you bet Boo fifty dollars that you could sleep with Piper."

Alex shuffled uncomfortably in her seat.  
She didn't like having her decisions scrutinised, and having these mistakes managed by an ex-junkie seemed a little counter-productive.  
Still, if anyone knew about pulling themselves up from rock bottom, it was Nicky.

"This is going to sound unlikely." Alex began. "But Boo can be a little predatory at the best of times."  
"That's the  _least_ unlikely thing I've ever heard. It's like saying Bill Clinton sometimes had the potential to be unfaithful."  
Alex laughed in spite of the ever-growing weight in the pit of her stomach. "I didn't want Piper to be lumbered with that all night. I knew that if I made it seem like it was in Boo's best interests to  _not_  pursue Piper, she might be able to have a good time, unencumbered."  
"See, now you sound like you're some sorta white knight, and they are  _not_  popular on the internet right now." Nicky countered. "Besides, you're missing the most important part."  
"Yeah? What's that, Mystic Nick?"

"The fact that you fuckin'  _like_  her. You were motivated by attraction above all, and you need to tell her that. Remind her that there was something between the two of you before that night even happened. Don't let her forget that you're still the woman who made her feel safe, and welcome, and loved." Nicky idly filled their empty glasses again as she fumbled for an efficient way to finish her sentence, admittedly a little startled by her own intoxicated candour. "Sure, you fucked up. But all your decision amounted to was the consummation of something you were both hoping for anyway, just a little sooner than you might have expected."

When Nicky had finished returning the cap to the bottle, she noticed Alex was smirking at her.  
"What?"  
"It's past midnight, and you just casually dropped the word  _consummation_ into our conversation like you were wiping crumbs off your shirt."  
Nicky seemed proud. "What can I say? I'm full of surprises."

Alex rolled the alcohol around the inside of her glass, watching it coat the surface indolently.

"You're gonna have to talk to her. You share a department. And  _we_  share a house. At least for my sake, sort your shit out."  
"I'm pretty sure Red warned us about this." Alex admitted. "What was it? Something about shitting and eating?"  
"Was it  _eat shit and die_?" Nicky pondered. "Or maybe I said that."

There was nothing but the sound of the clock ticking on the kitchen wall for several minutes, as both women sipped their drinks and tried to recall the obscure wisdom of an elderly Russian woman whose logic often seemed questionable at best.

"Wait," Nicky drew herself up to her full height in her seat. "I got it." She cleared her throat, narrowed her eyes, and adopted a terrible Eastern European accent. " _Don't fuck where you eat, or shit where you fuck._ "  
Laughter burst forth from the pair like a geyser.  
"What does that even mean?" Alex asked, rubbing at her eyes sleepily as their joy subsided.  
"Fuck if I know." Nicky shrugged.

She stood up and grabbed her phone off the table, smothering the bubble of anticipation that rose up inside of her when she noticed the notifications littering the screen. "Bed?"  
"Yes. Definitely."  
"Wanna share?" Nicky held up her hands, preempting Alex's reply. "Nothing risqué. Just thought you might not want to be by yourself."

Alex's fondness for Nicky often saw spikes like electrical currents, and this was the second time in twenty four hours that Nicky had been an above-average friend.

"I'll be okay. Thanks though."  
If Nicky was hurt, it was well hidden. "Then I'll see you in the morning."  
Alex nodded, smiling.

As her housemate ambled away, Alex dug her mobile out of her pocket.  
It was almost dead, but she still had just enough battery left to send a single message.

_I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Can we talk?_

Without giving herself a moment to second-guess the text, Alex clicked send.  
She just hoped it wasn't too late.


	24. The Princess Saves Herself In This One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have bad news - or possibly good news if you've only followed this fic begrudgingly - to deliver: this is the penultimate chapter of this fic.  
> But I have two follow-up pieces of news to deliver too:  
> 1\. I'm writing a sequel set a little way in the future.  
> 2\. People are sending fic prompts, which I'm really really excited about. Feel free to send some more my way if you want to. I'll post the prompts I've filled after the final chapter of this fic, before I start posting the sequel.  
> This aside, recommended listening for this chapter is "Wishing It Was You" by k flay (I'll never hear enough of her stuff), "Humongous" by Declan McKenna, and "Laid" by James.  
> More rambles at the start of the next - and final - chapter.  
> Thanks for sticking around for the ride.

 

Piper had been perched on the edge of her bed for several minutes, watching the digital dots on her bedside table beat in rhythm with each passing second.

She had to leave for work soon.  
Technically she had to leave for work five minutes ago.  
But here she was, hungry and half-dressed, shoes and socks askew by the door as if making their own bid for freedom.

She could do this.

Willing herself to stand up, Piper picked up her phone for one final time before dropping it into the depths of her work bag.  
Alex's message still lurked, unread, on the lock screen.

_I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Can we talk?_

The answer was no.

When she had first seen the notification, her reply would have been a firm no, a hard limit.  
Now, when her inevitable encounter with Alex was so imminent, the sun rising on a horizon she would have to face at some point, her answer was a far softer,  _not yet_ , with as much defensive force as a pillow fort.

Finally ready, she placed her hand on the front door handle, pulling it to as it closed behind her.  
A deep, steadying exhalation issued away from her as she headed down the stairs.

She could  _definitely_  do this.

* * *

The Monday morning staff briefing was an exercise in patience, and Alex found it almost impossible to sit still.  
She had waited until the last minute to slide in through the doors of the hall, picking a seat on the back row.  
She didn't want to be seen, especially not by Piper.  
She still hadn't figured out exactly what to say.

However, in spite of her best efforts, Alex couldn't help but crane her neck to try and identify the blonde through the sea of heads before her.  
She was there, near the front, and the knot in Alex's stomach tightened.  
She couldn't tell who Piper was with, but it didn't really matter.

The briefing passed Alex by in the blink of an eye, and her colleagues were rising to their feet around her before she knew what was happening.  
Normally she would be hesitant to leave, dragging her feet to catch a few words with people she spoke to if her only other alternative was starting the first lesson on a Monday morning, but she'd lost sight of Piper in the hubbub and the exit seemed like her only viable option.

Her back to the room, a familiar laugh lifted her spirits, until she remembered that she couldn't be the cause of the mirth.  
Her stomach lurched and she barrelled through the double doors before her, elbowing aside people in her way.  
She found herself rushing headlong towards the safety of her classroom, a cold sweat clinging to her skin as she shut the door behind her.

This was a foreign feeling to Alex.  
 _She_  had been the one to cause the hurt.  
So why did it feel as though she'd been on the receiving end?

* * *

Piper was officially bored.  
She was bored of this lesson.  
She was bored of feeling sorry for herself.  
Above all else, she was bored of being angry with Alex, but that wasn't as easily fixed as the other two. She ached to find a resolution, but refused to make the first move.

Her students were busy reading and annotating a series of scenes from Shakespeare's 'Othello'. Consequently, Piper had spent most of the lesson pacing the aisles between the desks restlessly, occasionally pausing to ask students anything she felt they might be capable of answering at this point.

_How can Italian writer Giraldi Cinthio be linked to the play?  
_ _What is the significance of the "soot" on Desdemona's handkerchief?  
_ _Why did my colleague choose to use me like a pawn in a social exchange?_

She kept the last question to herself, fairly certain that nobody could possibly answer it aside from Alex.  
Even then, she wasn't certain that she wanted to hear it, fearing that she might just be presented with a bouquet of pretty excuses and lame literary puns rather than a legitimate response.

Even Desdemona wouldn't have settled for that.

She was ready for a confrontation, if that's what it came to.  
Her mood had turned sharply from her earlier indecision and reluctance to interact when she'd seen Alex make a break for the exit after briefing.  
Alex didn't get to run away from this. That wasn't how it would work.  
And her text apology?  _Lame_. Piper was prepared to hear her out, but on her own terms, and she wouldn't be satisfied until she had a reasonable answer.

Pausing by the desk of a particularly studious young woman, Piper peered over her shoulder to see which section she was up to.

" _She gave me for my pains a world of sighs."_

Of course.  
She sighed audibly, and a few students nearby glanced up from their books hesitantly.

Alex was no Iago. It was doubtful that this whole debacle stemmed from some devious piece of planning on Alex's part.  
Although Piper hadn't known Alex for long enough, she seemed genuine. She knew Alex preferred to avoid the colleagues who gossiped and wheedled and manipulated.  
It all seemed so unlikely that Alex had intended harm. Surely if she had, her protestations would have been far more numerous and forthcoming when the 'truth' had been revealed?  
If anything, Alex had seemed just as stunned as Piper herself had felt.

Returning to the front of the room, Piper cleared her throat.  
"Okay, pens down. I'd like some volunteers please?"  
When nobody raised their hand, Piper picked a pair at random.  
"I'd like everyone to head to the next scene, so that's act five, scene two." Gesturing at the two students she'd selected, she opened her own copy of the text in front of her. "I need one of you to be Othello, and one of you to be Desdemona. We'll work through the scene slowly, and we'll pause when there's a tricky part. Okay? Let's go."

" _It is the cause, it is the cause, my soul…"_

Othello was about to murder his wife.  
Their friend had told Othello that she'd been unfaithful.  
Piper pondered  _who_ was  _who_ here. In readying herself for a war of words with Alex, was she Othello? Or was Alex the titular character, the eponym already with metaphorical blood on her hands?

" _Put out the light, and then put out the light…"_

She paused the class. "What does this line mean? Why does Othello repeat this imperative?"  
A tentative hand rose at the back of the room.  
"Yes?"  
"It's an allusion?" The student phrased her answer as a question, evidently unsure. "To Prometheus, who stole fire and breathed life into humans?" Piper nodded encouragingly. "So when Othello smothers her, he's taking away the "light" and the breath. And there's a reference to race in there too, a link to Desdemona's "light" skin? But also..." The girl was flagging, but determined to finish. "It's also about how he sees her as a good person, like in killing her he's extinguishing the light inside of her?"  
Piper grinned, in spite of the cloud hanging over her head. "Great. I'd like you all to take that idea and run with it. But not literally," She paused. "Because this is English, not Track."  
A few students groaned, but enough of them smiled that she felt a little better.

If only the rest of the day could improve from here, she thought. Maybe she'd be alright after all.

* * *

Ten minutes into the lunch break, Alex found herself creeping carefully through the corridors, eyes on the horizon in search of the one woman she really didn't want to run into right now.  
She knew she should be ready for Piper to approach her.  
She'd invited Piper to do so in her message last night.  
Piper deserved to yell, to hold her accountable for her mistakes, she had the right to receive answers.  
But none of that stopped Alex dreading the moment when she took her up on the offer.

She grabbed a sandwich in the cafeteria and retreated to the staff room, but soon decided that the latter might be an error.  
If people had been talking about her  _before_  she arrived, then her entrance only encouraged more of the same.  
Suzanne and Poussey from the Theatre department suddenly stopped their conversation with 'Taystee' Tasha Jefferson from Music to eye her with derision.  
Dayanara Diaz from Art looked less than impressed to see Alex, and she leaned across to gossip with Gloria with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.

Turning on the spot, still in the doorway, Alex made to leave, but found Red waving at her instead.  _Shit_.

"Alex?"  
Alex didn't have any free hands with which to push her hair back and nudge her glasses up - and it was only in the moments when she couldn't complete her idiosyncrasies that she remembered they existed at all - so she gave Red a reluctant smile.  
"Come, sit." The older woman gestured at the empty chair beside her, usually reserved for Frieda the janitor. "You're by yourself today?"  
"Yeah. I haven't seen Nicky since we arrived this morning."  
Red nodded. "She did not do any work over the weekend. She's playing catch-up in her classroom."  
Alex copied the nod, and took a bite of her sandwich to ease the tension.

"Where is Piper?"  
"Uh..." Alex's mouth hung open, half chewed sandwich in full view. If Red cared, she didn't say anything, instead opting to wait for a response that wasn't a filler.  
Alex had hoped to escape without having to say any more, but Red's face was impassive, fingers interlinked in her lap as though this was a performance review that she didn't have the heart to tell Alex she was failing.  
"I don't know where she is." The English teacher eventually relented.  
"You  _don't know_?"  
"Yeah, well." Alex shrugged. She really didn't want to have this conversation here.  
"Why aren't you trying to find out where she is?"  
"I'm trying to give her some space?" Alex hadn't meant to add a rising inflection onto the end of the statement - the questioning intonation now made it seem like she didn't know what she was doing, which was accurate - but it was too late. Red recognised the weak point in her armour.  
"You should be apologising! Making amends!"  
"Maybe I just - "  
"No  _maybes_." Red's voice was louder now. "She is a sweet girl and you upset her. Be an adult and fix this." She hissed the last few phonemes out, a pipe ready to burst. Alex got the impression that this was Red's equivalent of a stage whisper, and had neither the heart nor the inclination to tell her that it was only attracting more attention that speaking normally would.

Two dozen heads had already turned in their direction, and the damage was done.  
Pushing Frieda's chair away from the table abruptly, she tossed her unfinished sandwich into the bin beside them.  
"As you wish." She muttered begrudgingly, throwing out literary references like candy as she walked away.  
"Don't 'Princess Bride' me, Alex Vause. And stop wasting food!" Red called after her, but it was no good.

Alex had stepped out into the bustling throng of busy students crossing outside the door, and was gone.

* * *

She made it all the way until the final bell before encountering Piper again., and she felt the hairs raise on the back of her neck, goosebumps prickling her skin as though she had stepped out of a cold shower.

It was a mirror image of the morning's sighting: Piper was once more reduced to a blonde head bobbing among a sea of others, and their eyes only met as the final students filtered out of the hallway they shared.  
Alex was a deer in the headlights, almost motionless in the canted angle of the corridor, as Piper's head tilted just enough to make everything feel a little more unsettling.

Stella emerged from the doorway at the opposite end - as if Alex wasn't in enough hot water already - and the whole encounter took on a stilted Western gunfight feel, where Piper was the prize in the middle.

Stella was first to draw, her voice raised as she called the blonde's name.  
Area now devoid of anyone other than the three of them, Alex flexed her hand, knuckles too tight inside her own skin.  
If there had been a holster at her hip, it would've been empty; she had lost already.  
Piper turned, achingly slowly, dragging her eyes away from Alex.

"Hey Piper! Can I catch you about a student we've got? Got some pastoral stuff we need to talk about."  
 _I bet_ , Alex glowered.  
"Sure," Piper seemed uncertain, but clung to the simplest task of the day like a liferaft. "Let's talk in my classroom."  
She was glad to have a purpose, and perhaps Stella's buoyancy could keep her afloat until she was able to go home.

The blonde walked away without a glance back, wandering in through her open door, leaving it ajar for Stella to follow.  
Instead, the music teacher lingered, making a show of pausing mid-way through her route to Piper's room.  
"You alright Vause? You look like you've seen a ghost."  
Alex curled her fingers into a fist, Stella's smirk burning a hole in her heart.

Her fight or flight mechanism was working overtime, and although Alex wasn't normally someone who was happy to walk away from a moment like this, this was her workplace. This corridor was  _her_  space.  
Stella meant nothing.  
Alex would just have to hope she meant nothing to Piper either.  
She gave Stella the only civil reply she could think of - a single nod, a forced smile - and returned to her own room.

She needed to speak to Piper, and soon.  
She was at risk of losing someone incredible.  
Hopefully she hadn't already lost her completely.

* * *

Stella swaggered into the room as though she owned it, and Piper was a little repulsed by the way she sat astride the chair behind her desk at the front of the room.  
Piper had intended to occupy the seat herself, but opted instead to lean awkwardly against a student desk nearby, trying to avoid exerting so much pressure that she pushed it backwards.

"Who did you need to talk about?"  
Stella laughed dismissively. "Ah, you got me. I don't need to talk about anyone. Just thought you might've wanted a get-out clause for the awkwardness back there."

Piper felt frustrated. She didn't need to be rescued. She resented the idea that Stella should insert herself into the middle of something that had nothing to do with her.  
What business of Stella's was it? And how did she even know?

"Why would it have been awkward?"  
"Well, y'know..." Stella gestured vaguely with her hand. "Vause did you a bad job, a disservice, whatever you want to call it. Did me a favour though."  
"In what way?"

By way of an answer, Stella winked. Piper felt cheapened for having even witnessed it. "Fancy a drink tonight?"  
"I have work to do." Piper's knee-jerk response replaced her realisation, and it took her a moment to recognise Stella's offer for what it was. "Wait. Do you mean, a drink? Or like, a  _drink_?"

Stella raised an eyebrow, smirking. The look was better on Alex, Piper couldn't help but think.

"Look, I'm sorry. It's been a really long day. I think I'd just rather spend tonight getting some marking sorted. Rain check?"  
Stella shrugged, lifting herself out of Piper's desk chair with what seemed like a great amount of exertion. "Suit yourself. You've got my number."  
Piper didn't want it, but also didn't like to lie by omission. "No, I don't."  
Stella tore a scribbled-on post-it note from the top of Piper's pad and walked around the desk to where the blonde stood, motionless and bemused. "Yes, you  _do_."

She pressed the post-it to Piper's chest, and Piper felt the pressure against her sternum in a way that made her pulse pound in her ears.  
Stella's hand remained in place, and Piper felt her own chest rising and falling against the other woman's palm, warm and firm.  
She noticed how close Stella stood to her, and felt simultaneously uncomfortable and a little tempted. But tempted to do  _what_ exactly?

* * *

Alex approached Piper's classroom tentatively, steeling herself against an inevitable onslaught of discomfort.  
The very thought of opening a conversation with Piper filled her with anxiety, but she had avoided the woman all day.  
Even if Piper had wanted to speak to her, she wouldn't have been able to find Alex to do so.

Taking a deep breath, Alex wrapped her hand around the door handle and pushed it down.  
It was time to be less of a coward: it was unfair of her to invite Piper to talk without then giving her the opportunity to do so.

She had to tell Piper how she felt.

* * *

The door creaked open as Stella took a single step forward, effectively closing the gap between them, her breath ghosting against Piper's cheek as the blonde turned to see who had just walked in.

Alex stood frozen in the doorway, liminality present in every pore of their predicament, mouth agape in astonishment.

Piper tried to slide off the desk towards her, but this only pressed her closer to Stella, who remained unmoving in her space, one arm winding around Piper's waist to steady her sudden movement.

What Stella interpreted as consent, Alex saw only as betrayal.  
The music teacher turned towards the source of the sound inquisitively, her embrace of Piper serving to restrict Piper's movements - inadvertently or not - as the blonde made efforts to move away.

"Alex,  _wait_!"

When Alex had imagined the worst case scenario for their impending interaction, this hadn't even begun to cross her mind.  
In her haste to leave the room, she knocked a pile of papers from the shelf beside her.  
Fumbling to gather them together, longing for anything to tear her eyes away from  _whatever the fuck_  she'd just seen, her gaze landed squarely on the opening lines of an Othello essay Piper had set her class only that morning.

" _O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;  
_ _For she had eyes and chose me."_

Alex wasn't sure whether she was more likely to vomit or hyperventilate, and found her body operating on autopilot before she came to any conscious decisions about which to choose.

Cramming the papers back onto the shelf, she twisted away from the unheimlich scene before her and, for the first time in so many years, ran.


	25. Our Numbered Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (There's a new Bleachers album out, and I had no idea. Anyway, I wrote this chapter to the new album, so 'Goodmorning' and 'Everybody Lost Somebody' are most definitely recommended listening for this chapter. They seemed particularly pertinent as this is the final chapter.)
> 
> Thank you all, so, so much.  
> I started writing this fic a long time ago (around January 2016, in fact!) because it had been buzzing around in my brain for ages.  
> It's been an awesome two years, and I've made so many friends during this process. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this and messaged regularly - there are too many of you to list without fear of missing someone!  
> Particularly special thanks go to HereNowReady, Baileytron, you_cute_little_muffin, and Vausemaniac.
> 
> The sequel will be out soon; it's called Carry It In My Heart.  
> It's the same AU with the same characters, just a little later down the line.  
> I'll also be fulfilling some of the prompts I've been sent in the last few months.
> 
> Thanks again for all of your kind words. Messages, prompts, reviews and tumblr stalks (the-sickener-hits) are all absolutely welcome.  
> Later, taters.

 

Nicky drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, and eyed the buzzing phone in Alex's lap.  
Alex had been silent in the passenger seat for the entire journey from school, and now as they reached the long home stretch, Nicky decided to chance an enquiry.

"You gonna answer that, or what?"  
Alex's answering laugh was hollow. "Probably not."

Her gaze was still averted, the scenery flickering past the car window like an old film reel. "Looks like Piper's moved on. Didn't take her long."  
The final statement was a bitter addendum, something she hadn't considered until this moment.

Nicky shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She wasn't sure where to take the conversation from here.  
"She tell you this herself?"  
"Not with words."  
"Huh."

Alex closed her eyes for a second, and revisited the unpleasantness of the earlier tableau:  _Stella's arm winding around Piper's waist, the space that was smothered between them, the way the Music teacher had glanced up from Piper's lips so possessively…_

"So, you're not even gonna try?" Nicky broke through the clouds in her reverie, the smallest glimmer of sunshine fighting against the storm.  
"I don't even know anymore. I was going to. I had grand plans. Now I can't even get past the swirling darkness in my brain long enough to land on anything." Alex exhaled.  
"Melodrama much." Nicky tried teasing, but Alex simply returned her gaze to the passing scenery.

It was easy for her to spend the rest of the night in her own head.  
She couldn't remember eating dinner but she knew she must have.  
She was marking papers in her room before she knew where she was, the sun descending beneath the horizon, sinking like her hopes.  
She coaxed herself away from the internal monologue that sounded like she'd read a few too many Romantic poems, and sighed.  
Alex pushed her glasses onto the top of her head. She dropped her pile of marking onto the floor and slid down beneath the covers.

It would be very nice to try all of this from the beginning, a clean slate: tabula rasa.

The phone buzzed on the bedside cabinet again.  
And again.  
And again.

Alex snaked an arm out from beneath the duvet, patting around for her mobile.  
She pulled it to her chest when she found it, the bright screen illuminating the darkness she found so comforting.

It was Piper. Another missed call.  
That made eight now.

Text after text had filled the phone she'd abandoned upon her arrival home, and she scrolled through the last few out of curiosity.

_Alex, please answer my calls._

_I need to talk to you._

_Where are you?_

_Alex!_

The final exclamative, borne out of desperation or frustration, made her grin. She heard the noun in her head in the same way that Piper would begrudgingly mutter it when they teased one another, and for a moment it was easy to forget that somehow, so quickly, it had all gone to hell.  
Her thumbs hovered over the illuminated keypad for a moment, as she pondered how - and if - to reply.

There was a knock at her door.

"Alex?" Nicky's enquiry was tentative.  
Alex sat up. "What?"  
"There's someone here to see you."  
" _What_?" She was bemused.  
She heard Nicky's audible sigh breeze through the wood towards her. "Just open the fuckin' door, will ya?"

Alex tossed the covers back and stood, slipping a little on the discarded papers by the bed.

She tugged the door open abruptly, unprepared for visitors, unwilling to mind her manners.

"Alex,  _please_  let me explain."

It was Piper.

Dishevelled and evidently tired, but unmistakably, irrefutably Piper.

"Piper." Alex stated dumbly, eyebrow raised.  
"Can I come in?"  
Alex glanced over to Nicky, who shrugged. "Depends. Did you bring Stella with you this time?"

In the shadows of the hallway, Nicky threw her arms up in despair, mouthing over Piper's shoulder,  _what the fuck?_

"What?" Piper seemed genuinely confused, and Alex pushed her hand through her hair in exasperation.

She needed to be an adult about this.  
"I'm sorry. I'm pretty much the master of handling things completely wrong." Alex relented. She stepped aside, unblocking the doorway, and gestured into the room. "You can come in."

Nicky gave an approving thumbs up, and Alex swallowed a reluctant smile. Maybe it wasn't all lost after all.

* * *

"So."

Alex's opening gambit was a dead end, and Piper realised that the brunette seemed to be expecting her to start.

"Uh…" She floundered for a second, unsure of how to start or why she'd impulsively dragged herself across to Alex's house in the first place. "I came over here to clear a few things up."  
"Okay." Alex remained taciturn in corner of the room, her back against the door.

Piper weighed her words for a second. She hadn't really planned this. She wanted to apologise for the earlier confusion, but she also wanted to understand what had happened with Boo.

"Can I - I mean, would you mind - can we turn a light on? It's kind of dark in here."  
They had been sitting in the sepulchral darkness for several minutes by this point, and Piper wanted to be able to see Alex's face when they spoke.  
"Sure."

Alex crossed from the door to the bed, flicking the bedside lamp on. She sat down on the mattress, looking tired.

"You know," Alex averted her eyes as she said it, as though she couldn't bear to let the words leave her lips as she said it anyway. "You don't get to do whatever you want to, just because it makes you feel good."

There was a stillness in the room as she looked up, frustration bubbling just beneath the brim of her temper as held Piper's gaze with piercing eyes.

"If you're suggesting I would behave like that to spite you, or make you jealous, you're out of line." Piper retorted, voice level in tone but rising a little in volume. "What you saw, in the classroom… Stella completely invaded my space without my consent, and if I'm honest, it made me uncomfortable."

Alex tugged at the bedsheets idly as she hesitated, trying to keep her nervous hands busy.  
She wanted Piper back, but she was still so full of resentment.  
She also desperately wanted to pull Piper close to her and kiss them back to the days before this had all taken place.  
But that would have to wait.

"Stella likes you." Alex mumbled, her tone vaguely accusatory.

"I don't  _like_  Stella." The blonde replied gently, placing air quotes around the verb to emphasise her point. "Or at least, not in the way you mean."  
"You don't?" Alex felt like a child seeking reassurance, but she couldn't help it. Piper was the best thing to happen to her in a long time. She had already fucked things up once. To have something -  _someone_ \- upset the balance again so swiftly seemed downright unreasonable.  
Piper laughed, taking a seat on the opposite side of the bed. "Would I date  _you_ if I liked  _her_?"

Her smile was warm, and it took all of Alex's self-control to not mirror the affection.  
They weren't out of the woods yet; she still had to account for her bet with Boo.

"I'm sorry Pipes." She blurted suddenly, and it was Piper's turn to express scepticism.  
"Is this about the Boo thing?"  
"I made a bad choice. I'm really fucking flawed." Alex shrugged, opting for the matter-of-fact approach, reeling back in her involuntary apology in spite of the uncertainty in her voice. "I'm a ruthless pragmatist who sold you out and then lied about it. Sort of. I didn't want you to get hurt."  
Piper held up her hands in protest. "Wait, wait. Start at the beginning. Who was going to  _hurt_ me?"

Alex sighed.  
The urge to defend herself and her choices was building inside her chest, and she desperately wanted to make it clear that she had behaved in Piper's best interests.

Or so she'd thought.

Perhaps it hadn't been her decision to make after all.

"Boo expressed an interest in you. And I didn't want you to feel threatened by her. So I intervened. She wanted someone to bet that you wouldn't sleep with a woman - I didn't like the idea that you'd become the focus of some bullshit wager."  
"But I  _did_ become the focus of a bullshit wager." Piper crossed her arms over her chest, textbook defensive behaviour, and Alex opted for a long, steady sigh in place of the hands she wished to run through her own hair.  
"And I'm sorry. Boo can be tenacious, predatory, and I was afraid that she'd keep pursuing you if someone didn't get there first."

The stillness in the room continued, tension unabated, so Alex pressed on.

"I think she was floating the idea of sleeping with you to the room; she kept talking about it, like you were fair game or some fucked up prize to be won. I thought that maybe," Alex paused apprehensively. She glanced past Piper towards the windows, curtains still open, and saw her own mirror image reflected back at her, as the night sky offered nothing but a black backdrop for inspiration. "Maybe if I made it clear that you were off the market, and made it worth her while to stay away from you, then you might be safe. From her. Does that make any sense?"

"And what?"  
Alex was bemused by Piper's response. "What?"  
"I'm just supposed to believe that you're some white knight riding in to save me from the dragon? That you did all of this for my benefit?"

Piper's query was loaded, heavy with an unspoken weight that seemed ready to crush this fragile union the moment the string snapped.

"And… And I guess I had my own reasons for stepping in." Alex opted for nonchalance where compassion was probably needed, years of pretending she didn't care about those around her far overwhelming her desire to be open and honest.  
"Do I get to know what they were? Or am I supposed to just accept your chivalry in place of the real reason for your decision to make a wager that completely disregarded my dignity?"

Any facade of normality that Piper may have been able to uphold until that point was swiftly crumbling around her, and she could hear her own voice trembling as she stumbled over each piece of involuntary alliteration.  
She took a shaky breath in, hiccuping back sobs that she'd promised herself she wouldn't share here because Alex still didn't deserve them.  
There were so many things still unsaid between them, and it frustrated her that it had taken Stella's impudence to force this farce.

She was surprised when she felt the mattress dip beside her, and Alex's warm hands covered those that in turn covered her face in embarrassment.  
"Piper."  
The blonde's shoulders heaved, and she was torn between moving away and leaning in.  
"Piper, look at me. Please."  
Alex gently tugged Piper's fingers away from her eyes, and held them firmly in her own.  
"I really fucking like you. I wouldn't have been so happy to take Boo's bullet for you that night if I didn't like you so much." Alex lifted her index finger to Piper's cheek and brushed a solitary tear away. "And I'm sorry that you got caught in the crossfire. I should've just talked to you. I thought that after Boo saw we were an item, she'd just leave us be. But I fucked up along the way. And I'm sorry."

Piper sniffed forlornly. "You owe me fifty dollars."  
Alex grinned. "I think I owe you a lot more than that, kid."

She reached out and wrapped her arm around Piper. The younger woman rested her head on Alex's shoulder.  
"Can we start again?"  
"I'd like that."  
"Yeah?" Piper sat up, eyes bright as she looked at Alex with hopeful eyes.  
"I think that when you have a connection with someone it never really goes away, you know?" Alex rested her hand on Piper's leg, the warmth from her palm threading through the fibres of Piper's jeans. "You snap back to being important to each other because you still are."

Piper sniffed again and brushed the back of her hand beneath her nose. "You are very important to me, Alex Vause."  
"Likewise, Piper Chapman."  
Alex leant in for a kiss, but Piper jerked back after the briefest connection. "It's not hot when my snot drips into your mouth like that."  
Alex laughed, the unexpected crudeness of Piper's comment. "No? I thought you'd be into that."

A wry smile replaced the thin line her lips had been pressed into all day, and they finally collapsed into one another, the stress of their time apart crumbling like an old building.  
Reduced to their foundations once again, they could start to reconstruct.

Lying back on the bed, Alex's arm draped across the curve of Piper's waist as their noses brushed.  
"You wanna stay?" Alex's enquiry was murmured, soft, and Piper would've loved nothing more.  
"No. I should go. I don't have anything here."  
"You  _could_  have. A drawer or something." Alex suggested tentatively. She knew it was early, but hoped that Piper would be in her room often.  
Piper suppressed a grin. "What, is this a U-haul? Are you every lesbian cliché now?"  
Alex mimicked affront. "That's fine. I'll find someone else to fill my drawers."  
"I don't know if that was supposed to be a double entendre, but it was gross either way." Despite Piper's disparaging tone, the mischievous glint in her eye told a different story.

After a few moments of quiet, their fingers intertwining slowly, Alex sighed.  
"Are you leaving or what?"  
"Rude. Parting is such sweet sorrow."  
"Now who's the cliché?"  
"I'm pretty sure it's still you." Piper planted a small kiss on the end of Alex's nose, and sat up.

She pushed her feet into shoes that she couldn't remember removing, and rose to her feet.  
Alex stayed on the bed, begrudging Piper's decision to leave, but unable to stop her.  
"I'll miss you."  
"You'll see me tomorrow."

Piper's smile made Alex's face warm, and she couldn't remember feeling a greater sense of relief in her life.

Heading down to the front door, hand in hand, Alex pulled Piper closer as she reached for the exit.  
"Come see me this weekend?"  
"I have  _so much_  marking, Al."  
"That's not a  _no_."

Piper relented. "Why don't you come over to mine?"  
Alex was taken aback. "Holly will literally kill me."  
" _Polly_."  
"Her too. I don't want to die yet, I'm too young and hot." Alex smirked.  
"I don't know about  _young_ ," Piper goaded. "But it would be nice for you to see where I lived at least before you die prematurely."  
Alex sighed. "Okay."  
"Okay?"  
"Deal. Fine. Whatever." They were both grinning now, and Alex wrapped her arms around Piper, seeking one last kiss before she left.

Piper managed to at least get the door open before Alex tugged her back one final time.  
"Pipes?"  
"Oh my god,  _what_?" Despite her frustration, Piper was smiling, the light of the brightest night's sky Alex had ever seen glinting in her eyes.  
Alex was starstruck - almost literally - for a moment, but collected her thoughts before they were lost to the cosmos in her girlfriend's gaze. "Want to bring some stuff tomorrow to put in your drawer?"  
Piper blushed a little. "I'd like that."  
"And then we can ring for a moving van next month."  
Piper's fist caught Alex's bicep gently, joshing. "I know that you're joking, but I'd like that too."  
The brunette's face lit up. "You would?"  
"Eventually. Not next month; I'm not in any rush. Plus, Polly would kill me if I moved out right now. She thinks I went to the laundromat, she has no idea I'm here."  
"Oh,  _shit_." Alex chuckled mirthlessly, fearing the fallout of their imminent interaction.  
"And instead I'm planning my future with the most beautiful woman I've ever met."  
"I know you're complimenting me, but really it sounds like you're vying for a whole chest of drawers rather than just the one." Alex smirked, feeling the heat rising up the back of her neck a she took in Piper's words. She was terrible with compliments, but couldn't ignore what Piper had said.

Rising onto her toes, the younger woman gave Alex a soft kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow?"  
"And every day after that."  
" _Stalker_." Piper laughed. "Goodnight Alex."  
"Night, kid."

Alex watched Piper's retreating form disappear into the ever-diminishing summer evening.

Gazing out over the land that lay before her, she followed the line of the trees that reached out to the main road, the tarmac drive leading up to the front door from the public highway, the once-perfect meridian of the grass verges, now tufted and rough from lack of attention.

Who knew what the future would bring.  
Longer grass and shorter nights, without question.

She knuckled somnolence from her eyes, and climbed the mountain of stairs that eventually lead to her bedroom.

Ushering aside the pile of half-marked papers, she clambered under the covers again.  
She reached out to place her glasses onto the bedside cabinet, but something rustled beneath her hand as she did, and she slid her glasses back into place to better see what she'd accidentally discovered.  
It was Piper's list of her favourite books, still creased from folding and refolding each time Alex had returned it to wherever she chose to hide it week after week.  
She skimmed the page - although she knew it almost by heart now - and grinned with each work of literature she found:  _The Line of Beauty, Brave New World, Under The Skin…_

On and on the items went, until finally Alex's eyes landed on the final piece chosen, scribbled hastily at the bottom of the page, the twenty-fifth text that Piper had selected:  _Our Numbered Days._ Sleep creeping over her, Alex grasped at the only line from the book she could recall, hazily scrambling for some semblance of syntax as she placed the paper back into it's place:

" _I'm so lucky we lived through who we were to become who we are._ "

Alex sat her glasses carefully on the bedside cabinet, forcing her eyes closed:the sooner she slept, the sooner she could see Piper again.  
On her back, arms crooked to forty-five degrees beneath her head, she thought of benevolent debutantes beside her, and awoke smiling.


End file.
